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I have to say I really try to go out of my way to have a little conversation with the clerk at the register as they ring up my order and I always say thank you and have a nice day.
I do notice more often than not the clerks really get abused and for no reason.
If we all do our part - maybe others will catch on.
I worked in retail when I was younger and I could tell you all tons of stories of people acting horribly. I really think that everyone should have to work a week in retail before being allowed to shop, that might give everyone a bit of insight and remind us all that everyone should be treated with respect no matter what their job is.
what happen to manners.......I think they have gone out the window
Moral of the story: teach manners to your children. I see so many kids whose parents don't teach responsibility and manners. Just means that there will be more bullies out there as these kids grow up. Very sad indeed.
When DS was in first grade we went to his Open House. It was very crowded in the hallway and he bumped into someone. He turned and said, "excuse me" to the lady he bumped. She looked at me incredulously and said, "how'd you do that?" "How'd I do what?" I asked. "How'd you get him to say excuse me?" she replied. Ummm, I taught him!
Moral of the story: teach manners to your children. I see so many kids whose parents don't teach responsibility and manners. Just means that there will be more bullies out there as these kids grow up. Very sad indeed.
When DS was in first grade we went to his Open House. It was very crowded in the hallway and he bumped into someone. He turned and said, "excuse me" to the lady he bumped. She looked at me incredulously and said, "how'd you do that?" "How'd I do what?" I asked. "How'd you get him to say excuse me?" she replied. Ummm, I taught him!
It is amazing that we can teach them to walk and talk but not manners.
I agree with Michelle about everyone should be required to work retail but I think it should be everyone has to work one Christmas season - good grief, I cannot believe how rude people are when Christmas shopping. If I had to work retail at this point in my life I would either have a stroke or be in jail. I worked at a Hallmark one Christmas season and a woman brought her small boy in - he was wearing roller skates! - and this store was full of glass shelves and breakable merchandise. The owner asked her to have her child remove the skates, the woman flipped out, stomped out of the store. The next weekend, there was a letter to the editor about how abusive the store owner had been to her child and that everyone should stay away from Hallmark. He had never even spoken to the child!
I swear I remember a thread just a few months ago where the situation was reversed - everyone was complaining about how rude and unhelpful the clerks at Michaels are. I think the lesson here is that people are people are people - rude people are on both sides of the counter, the phone, the freeway, etc.
I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but it's just my opinion: I think we as a society are becoming less caring overall. We use emails instead of talking face-to-face, we play computer games instead of team sports, we talk on our cell phones while out in public. I don't think the people we are describing in this thread believe they are rude; I think they don't even consider how they affect the people around them. I bet they'd be surprised, just like the man who was so impatient in the store, to find that other people are upset with them.
And, I bet you every single one of us has been on the other side of the counter when we didn't realize it. Not that I'm excusing it, mind you. I'm just sayin'......
Oh, ITA...I KNOW I've been on the other side of the counter LOL...I've seen the looks. I can remember some times in particular, dealing with airlines-- it was often because I felt the clerk wasn't even listening to me or didn't care. On the other hand, I also worked in customer service (not retail though, and it's been a few years) and dealt with unreasonable people--usually they could be calmed down if you just listened and apologized and stayed calm yourself (hard to do, I know!)
Now if someone is cursing with my dd around, I DO say something like 'please, I'd rather my daughter not learn those words.' However, reading the posts about public education in CE, there are certain areas in which parents defend their children if the teacher reports such language, so I"m sure those parents would just turn to me & use some of them on me :twisted:
__________________ Lynn
"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right�--Lincoln
I work at a high school and I have noticed over the years that manners are going out of style. Just this morning, I was writing tardy passes, and maybe 20 percent said thank you. Another 50 percent are sighing and complaining because I am going to slow and they are missing class. WHAT?? They are the ones who are late! Who couldn't get to school on time! Their parents are also the ones who come in and yell and scream and act like their kid could do no wrong, it is always someone else who caused the problems, never their kids. I have one parent who must call me at least 7 or 8 times a week. Her son, who is in the 11th!! grade(16 years old!), calls her from his cell phone in class if any of his teachers say or do anything he doesn't like and she calls or comes running up here demanding to know what has happened to her son. I want to tell her, "you are what's happening to your son"! He doesn't respect anybody or anything because mommy is always covering for him. It drives me absolutely NUTS!
(thanks for listening to me rant!!) :rolleyes:
I work at a high school and I have noticed over the years that manners are going out of style. Just this morning, I was writing tardy passes, and maybe 20 percent said thank you. Another 50 percent are sighing and complaining because I am going to slow and they are missing class. WHAT?? They are the ones who are late! Who couldn't get to school on time! Their parents are also the ones who come in and yell and scream and act like their kid could do no wrong, it is always someone else who caused the problems, never their kids. I have one parent who must call me at least 7 or 8 times a week. Her son, who is in the 11th!! grade(16 years old!), calls her from his cell phone in class if any of his teachers say or do anything he doesn't like and she calls or comes running up here demanding to know what has happened to her son. I want to tell her, "you are what's happening to your son"! He doesn't respect anybody or anything because mommy is always covering for him. It drives me absolutely NUTS!
(thanks for listening to me rant!!) :rolleyes:
Time for your school to ban cellphones. I personally do not like cellphones and will not own one, but that is my opinion.
I worked in retail when I was younger and I could tell you all tons of stories of people acting horribly. I really think that everyone should have to work a week in retail before being allowed to shop, that might give everyone a bit of insight and remind us all that everyone should be treated with respect no matter what their job is.
Yes, you are right! Everyone needs to put in a year of reatil beginning your first week the day after Thanksgiving. And then you should be required to be a child care worker for a year following that. That would cure many people of laziness, rudeness and the desire to have children that you really shouldn't.
And I'm with kegbo on her point about talking on cell-phones in public. Sure, they're great for saying you'll be late, or getting directions / making arrangements, but do you really want to listen to someone's daily phonecall to her mother all the way in to work, let alone more personal lengthy calls conducted at high volume. No thanks.
He he he.... I once got to listen to a VERY personal call in DETAIL from a young girl talking to her boyfriend about the PREGNANCY TEST SHE JUST TOOK. Yeah. That was a good one. Then on the other end of the scale, I was in the grocery store and called my husband to see if we needed ice cream and asked what flavor he wanted and a woman told me very loudly that using my cell phone was RUDE and didn't my mother teach me any manners... but I would have had the same conversation with my husband had he been standing there with me, so I don't see the problem with that one, sorry.
I work at a high school and I have noticed over the years that manners are going out of style. Just this morning, I was writing tardy passes, and maybe 20 percent said thank you. Another 50 percent are sighing and complaining because I am going to slow and they are missing class. WHAT?? They are the ones who are late! Who couldn't get to school on time! Their parents are also the ones who come in and yell and scream and act like their kid could do no wrong, it is always someone else who caused the problems, never their kids. I have one parent who must call me at least 7 or 8 times a week. Her son, who is in the 11th!! grade(16 years old!), calls her from his cell phone in class if any of his teachers say or do anything he doesn't like and she calls or comes running up here demanding to know what has happened to her son. I want to tell her, "you are what's happening to your son"! He doesn't respect anybody or anything because mommy is always covering for him. It drives me absolutely NUTS!
(thanks for listening to me rant!!) :rolleyes:
Kids now a days only do what they see at home. Don't get me wrong I don't think it is right and you can ask my kids who are not allowed to get away with anything at home or outside the home. Most kids are taught that if someone looks at them the wrong way or talks to them in a way they don't like, that it is abuse, and parents either don't know, or want to know what they can and cannot do as far as disapline goes. I have been told by a Social Worker that a parent is allowed to punish there child within reason (I live in Canada, so I don't know what the definition is elsewhere). Our society in general is falling apart, it use to be where you said please and thank you and if someone was older than you it was yes sir/mame. I am trying to teach my kids this way but when they see so many others not doing it, adults included it makes you wonder why you even try. I try to talk to and treat others the way I would like to be treated, that is how I was taught and how my kids are being taught, and instead of teaching our kids in school how to use the computer how about we start teaching them manners and how to respect themselves and others.
I agree with Michelle about everyone should be required to work retail but I think it should be everyone has to work one Christmas season - good grief, I cannot believe how rude people are when Christmas shopping.
My first job was Macy's at Christmas. I did that 2 years and then Mervyn's and the now gone Best Products over the summers. FUN TIMES. People were not as rude in general as they are now though. We'd have the occasional example, but on the whole our biggest complaint as clerks was the condition people would leave the dressing rooms in. Maybe because Macy's was a little higher end? I dunno. When we were growing up you had two choices for summer/holiday employment. Retail or Food Service. I went retail. My sister did food service. I tend to be pretty appreciative of food service workers unless they are rude or it's obvious that they really don't belong in a job where they have to deal directly with customers.....
Now if someone is cursing with my dd around, I DO say something like 'please, I'd rather my daughter not learn those words.' However, reading the posts about public education in CE, there are certain areas in which parents defend their children if the teacher reports such language, so I"m sure those parents would just turn to me & use some of them on me :twisted:
I saw that happen in line at WalMart recently. The customer paying was cussing out the clerk, the lady behind him (I was behind her) had 2 small children with her and said nicely that she would appreciate if he toned down the language in front of the children and he actually turned to her and said "F you" three times, looking at each of them individually as he said it. NICE GUY.
I saw that happen in line at WalMart recently. The customer paying was cussing out the clerk, the lady behind him (I was behind her) had 2 small children with her and said nicely that she would appreciate if he toned down the language in front of the children and he actually turned to her and said "F you" three times, looking at each of them individually as he said it. NICE GUY.
If some guy said that to my kids, I would drag him by the ear to the bathroom and wash his mouth out!! SERIOUSLY! Why do people need to prove how tough they are by bullying other people? That's what it boils down to, bullying.
Years ago, whe I worked at wal-mart (good lord I could tell you stories), I was on my dinner break in the wal-mart and had to listen to a "lady" yell at her husband across the restaurant about how incompetant the cashier was. She ended with "obviously you don't need and education to work here". Before I could get my mouth in check, I blurted out "obviously you don't need class to eat here!"
I thought maybe she didn't here me (cause she was BIG and scary), but she snapped at me "What!". I swallowed hard and repeated myself. She just huffed and went to her table (where her hubby was smirking). I felt so good, it was worth the butt-kicking I almost got!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
__________________ Come peek at my tiny gallery...
I used to work in retail - but we didn't get as many rude customers as the ones who would try to bring in their old clothes and say they wanted to return them - they had put our tags on them.
Then - this is ewwwww - the LADIES that would come in and PEE in the fitting room - and leave their wet undies - GAG ME.
Or they would putt off our nice clean clothes and cover them with their makeup and want it marked down cause it was dirty. grrrrrr.
We won't even talk about the LADY - (she was a lady) that ran into our fitting room with a pair of pants - she pooped in the fitting room!
I wanted to barf!
__________________ Karen - proud owner of 3 cats and a 80 lb, German Shepard Owner of an unorganized scrappy place I CAN ONLY SHIP IN THE USA
I used to work in retail - but we didn't get as many rude customers as the ones who would try to bring in their old clothes and say they wanted to return them - they had put our tags on them.
Then - this is ewwwww - the LADIES that would come in and PEE in the fitting room - and leave their wet undies - GAG ME.
Or they would putt off our nice clean clothes and cover them with their makeup and want it marked down cause it was dirty. grrrrrr.
We won't even talk about the LADY - (she was a lady) that ran into our fitting room with a pair of pants - she pooped in the fitting room!
I wanted to barf!
I was not going to reply to this but I have to but my two cents in. My DD is 4years old and let me tell you I am a big stickler when it comes to manners and she knows it. When someone is nice and gives her somthing and she doesn't say thank you I hand it back to the person her gave it to her. she learned really fast to remember to say thank you. But she also knows to use all her manners such as please and thank you and excuse me. When she was three she would say No Please because she could not say no thank you. I agree however that there are a lot of parents that don't teach there kids manners. I know when my DD is with her friends and her friends don't use manners my DD will tell them so.
I just don't understand the impatience and rudeness of some people.
Some women actually yelled at me the other day because I apparently was in her way going downtown. She pulledinto antoher lane and flew past me, yelling unheard but clearly visible insults to me as she passed me. We both met up downtown at the stop light. It was so funny, she was in such a rush but she didn't get anywhere faster than I was going.
As for the OP, I am glad the clerk was nice to you and gave the option, she was I am sure just wanting the person to get the heck out of there. The fact that she went on shopping is just hysterical.
When me and my kids are out at stores and we see people/kids acting like this.. like the world owes them something.. I always point out to my kids>>>> "that is how not to act in public!"
I
Pam
I do the same things to my kids. Also on Supernanny when the kids are rude I will ask my kids what they are doing wrong and what words do they need to say, i.e. please, thank you and not be like that, etc.
I often feel like I have to untrain my DD when she gets home from school because she goes to school with some really rude children. All weekend they will use their manners and they go back to school and by Wed I am hearing things like Mine, and GImme, and horrible belches and pretend farts that they think is so fo funny. I have a mind to start teaching a manners course up at the school as part of the curriculum!
I always said everyone should spend some time working retail as well as in the restaurant industry before they are allowed to venture out into the world so they can see what it is like. Having done both I can see and sometimes I even have to bring stuff like that to my sister's attention because she thinks "they work for me" and I have to say yes but be a little nicer about asking please!!
I teach at a scrapbook store where they have sales ALL THE TIME... every week a different one, and they're GOOD sales.. The most popular complaint that they (i) hear is "I just bought $40 of paper the other day, why didn't you tell me it would go on sale?"
1) customers do not have RIGHTS to SALES.. they are a privilege
2) we don't find out about the sales till they happen
3) no one MADE you buy the paper
I do know the feeling of buying something and wishing you'd wait for a sale, but you don't complain to a store that gives so much.. and they hear this EVERY TIME (multiple times...)something goes on sale...
If it were me I'd be like the soup nazi and say "NO SALE FOR YOU!"
__________________
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SRM Stickers and Deconstructed Sketches.
I used to work in retail - but we didn't get as many rude customers as the ones who would try to bring in their old clothes and say they wanted to return them - they had put our tags on them.
Then - this is ewwwww - the LADIES that would come in and PEE in the fitting room - and leave their wet undies - GAG ME.
Or they would putt off our nice clean clothes and cover them with their makeup and want it marked down cause it was dirty. grrrrrr.
We won't even talk about the LADY - (she was a lady) that ran into our fitting room with a pair of pants - she pooped in the fitting room!
I wanted to barf!
omg, memories! When I was in my late teens, I was a night manager at a tanning salon. We had one lady that would come in DRUNK off her rocker EVERY tuesday and thursday, right at closing....
Every tuesday and thursday there we be pee in the little trashcan, and the bed towels would be wet also! GROSS GROSS GROSS! *no matter what time of the month, if you get my meaning*
I BEGGED them to let me ban her. I mean, it was a tanning salon, each room cleaned after each customer. There was NO QUESTION whoooooo was doing it! They wouldnt let me ban her because there was NO PROOF... UMMMMMMM........
my last night there, I had one of my cop friends follow out of the parking lot. Can you say D U I......
bluhhhhh... this reinforces my decission to work from home! LOL...
__________________ ~*~My Blog~*~ click with caution, random fits of laughter have been known to occur!!! umm. Just not today.
I agree with the others who say manners in our society seem to be going down hill. People just don't teach them to their kids. And I don't think you have to get them to say 'mam or sir, but a thank you and please is always necessary. Holding doors for people is another one that drives me nuts. I am trying to teach my kids to hold the door for me and others. Amazing how many people just walk right through the door without a thank you.
I always tell my kids that no matter what, if you have good manners people will instantly think better of you. I think basic manners will get you far in life. And those that behave as the "lady" did in front of the OP, they will just be talked about and set the example of how not to act. I just don't think they have a clue of how rude and childish they are.
__________________ Martha
"When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life." Jean Shinoda Bolen
Ok I am going to post one more. I am In OHIO We just had a State of Emergency. Thepower was out for Most of us in ohio. we have had a lot of power companys from out of state to come and help. Anyway I have been very upset with the news papers and reporters and all the people that are complaining to the power company when they are trying there best to get power up to over 600,000 people. I actually went over to some power workers from Mass. in my neighbor hood and gave them a thank you card and said to them thank you for leaving your family and lives and coming to help us here, and i am sorry for everyone that has been nasty and blaming you about this. Hello People wake up this is not the power companys fault it was IKES.
Ok I am going to post one more. I am In OHIO We just had a State of Emergency. Thepower was out for Most of us in ohio. we have had a lot of power companys from out of state to come and help. Anyway I have been very upset with the news papers and reporters and all the people that are complaining to the power company when they are trying there best to get power up to over 600,000 people. I actually went over to some power workers from Mass. in my neighbor hood and gave them a thank you card and said to them thank you for leaving your family and lives and coming to help us here, and i am sorry for everyone that has been nasty and blaming you about this. Hello People wake up this is not the power companys fault it was IKES.
You know what I think it is.. We can't blame nature, that's too intangible, so we blame people for our loss of conveniences.. I've been there.. We had a storm here a couple of years ago and my city was without power for nearly two weeks.. We whined, complained, "WHERE'S OUR POWER?", until a reporter put it in perspective: hundreds of thousands of people, minimal power workers..
Whenever I work in retail (sometimes during the summer when i'm not teaching) I come to the realization that i hate people.. lol.. but it helps me be nice when i'm on the other side of the counter, so to speak.
__________________
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I totally sympathize with your bad experience and used to also wonder how these people could be so rude. Sometimes, it's just bad breeding, LOL!
But other times, I've discovered that these people have very bad situations going at home/work and are on their last nerve. Maybe she just got a call from school that her kid didn't show up, or maybe she just found out her Mom has cancer. Sometimes people just can't deal with these stresses. So, like many of you, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and I usually just feel really sorry for them in their uncontrolled rage. What else can we do?
I put curses on the rude people (when they can't hear me, I'm Queen of the Land of Passive Agressiva) like "I hope you gain 10 pounds on your left hip, so your fat, AND lopsided." Cut me off in traffic? "I hope you have 2 flat tires tomorrow morning." (nobody has 2 spares you know)
No confrontations, and I feel a little better.
Ann
__________________ There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary code and those who don't.
People take out their rage on clerks and restaurant workers because they can get away with it....
it's not just customers that take it out ... I went with my family to a restaurant and they told us that 3 could sit at one table and the other 5 could sit at another table ... on the opposite side of the restaurant. Now tell me, who in their right mind goes to a restaurant as a group and chooses to sit apart? The staff were really quite rude and told me, that "if I didn't like it, we could go somewhere else". I was not rude in any way, just a little upset that they'd even suggest such a thing. The restaurant was NOT full. The whole back was empty ...
In general, more and more people want what they want, right away. They don't care how it happens or who they hurt to get it.
This story made me think. I basically have a job offer. HOWEVER, I was told up front that the sales people that I would be dealing with can be rather rude and yell a lot. Sure I REALLY need a job, but do I really want a job where people are rude and yell at you for no reason other than they want their order information instantaneous. It's significantly less than my last job, and I don't think I will accept the offer.
__________________ Just taking it one day at a time.....
We had a guy at one of my jobs who was horrid. It got to the point where only I would help him. (print shop, repeat customer) He pulled his debasing crap on me one day and I said, "Look Mr. X. right now I'm the only person here who will help you. If you piss me off enough you are going to be out of luck. I'd like to take care of you, I like the work you bring us. But cut the crap or you can take it somewhere else"
that was the end of that.
I agree sometimes people need to be put in their place.
On the other hand I usually don't bother. Let them live with their misery.
__________________ My BlogMy GalleryAll dog's feet smell like Fritos. I know you don't believe me, go check... See, I told you so.
Oh and I really do try to always be friendly and smile and I say, "Oh that's ok" a lot. Especially to retail/service workers, but everyone. And I'll tell you something, people respond. Grouches smile, cashiers that looked like they were about to cry cheer up. I just don't know how/why peole go around so angry. Bless their hearts.
__________________ My BlogMy GalleryAll dog's feet smell like Fritos. I know you don't believe me, go check... See, I told you so.
My local newspaper has a feature each Monday called "How Rude!" where they print transgressions that readers write to them about, and rank them on the Rude-o-meter. Yesterday was a story about one reader's 81-year-old mother who inadvertently gave the clerk at the gas station the wrong pump number when she prepaid. Well, someone pulled up to that particular pump, watched the poor old lady struggle with her pump and not understand why it wasn't working while he filled up on HER dime, and drove off. Un-freakin-believable. Sure hope the security cameras caught either his face or his license plate, because that was flat-out theft, not to mention the fact that it topped out the "meter" for the rudeness factor!
__________________ Rachel Proud SU! demo and Sci-Fi Geek!
My Stampin' Up! blog "I'm a time traveler -- I point and laugh at archaeologists." 10th Doctor, "Silence in the Library"
I actually told a surgeon at the hospital I worked at that if he swore one more time I would hang up..I hate the language some people think it is okay to use. The Mfer word and f word...I ended up hanging up on him. He was much kinder when he called back.
Blessings.
I've read this thread & haven't been surprised by any of it. Most of my career has be in Human Resources with a few years (decades ago) in a florist shop. The owner would let people know in no uncertain terms they could leave (& not come back) if they were rude to his employees. I was in a little bead shop recently where a customer was wandering around & it seemed she would wait until the employee was helping someone else & then she would start the 'excuse me' ' can you come over here & help me' stuff. Everyone could see what was going on. Every time she was told 'I'll be there as soon as I've finished with this customer' - which she did - there would be a few questions, she would 'dismiss' the person. This happened 5 or 6 times until she was told "You are being very rude to my customers & I do not need your business. I want you to leave NOW & not come back!" The woman was finally speechless because everyone in the shop was watching this & smiling. Everyone broke into applause!!!
On the other hand there are the employees of stores who don't mind making those in line wait while they talk with each other about their date the night before, etc. & go so distracted they make mistakes that you have to go to Customer Service to get fixed. One instance was the worst - a checked at the local KMart was talking to a supervisor at his register about another employee - clearly had issues. I was trying to ignore him until I heard these words comes out of his mouth "...if that nappy haired B...!..." I'm not easily shocked but that snapped me back & everyone else in line. The person in front of me grabbed their bags & left. I dumped my stuff on the counter & started to walk away to look for a manager. The guy said to me "You can't leave that crap here!" My response "Watch me" - again, 'I said You can't leave that crap here." I took all 5'4" & 110 lbs. of me looked him in the eye & said "And what are YOU going to do about it". The fella behind me (6'+) was cracking up - put his stuff on the counter & left the store. I found the manager on the floor, told him what had happened & the name of the supervisor who was at the register (who did nothing) & told him that if I came back in that store & they were still employed - I wouldn't be back & I would report it to the hdqts.
I try to live by what I was taught - treat people the way you would want to be treated & I've found that if you do this with the meanies & rudies of the world - with a big smile - it annoys the H@#) out of them!
1�.... I have seen rudeness by Americans in public places steadily growing for at least two decades. I believe that the one great proponent of rudeness is television comedy. Over the years, actually funny situations or truly silly happenings have given way to rude remarks followed by a canned "laugh track." We now have a couple of generations of adults who have been raised believing that rudeness and sarcasm are fun.
2�.... The "right" to instant gratification has also grown exponentially over the years. I place the blame for that on advertising. Magazines, TV, radio, -- they all tell us that we should get what we want when we want it. People used to save their money until they had enough for a purchase. Now, we just put our purchases on a credit card and pay later. Children used to have two pairs of shoes (at least the middle class did). One pair for school and one pair for church. Now we all want several pair in lots of colors to go with our overfilled closets.
I too have met the rude customers and the rude clerks, the rude children and the rude parents. But, I feel very fortunate that all those rude people are still in the minority. Perhaps that is the reason we are so astounded by these stories -- because the rude people are not the average. They are just louder.
