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Heck I get that all the time from the same ones who are just jealous that they don't have the time or talent !- I just laugh it off and continue to make my cards and send them along - in fact I am sitting here right now making next year's Thanksgiving cards! LOL my daughter came to see what I was doing and stormed off stating I am a nut!!! I gotta do something the Christmas cards are all done, signed, addressed and stamped - figured I would wait another week or so to put them in the mail!
I was almost going to excuse her rude comments as jealousy and youth of today until I saw that you were a "grammy" (so much fun!!) and that she had two adult kids. SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER and HAVE BETTER MANNERS!!! She is still jealous and snobby!! You are way kinder than I would have been. This can't have been the first time she was so rude to you or anyone else. I think it is REALLY patient and kind of you to try to win her over, but people like this need to have a reality check because they think the world revolves around them!
You could politely and honestly tell her that you had spent all that time and effort on making something very special because you love and care for those that receive them and that her remark was hurtful and if she did not care to receive them anymore that you would leave her off the list. If she still comes back with a comment or excuse then at least you tried. MAYBE she will think about it and be a little more thoughtful next time. I feel sorry for her, sounds like she lacks any true joy in her life. You on the other hand have the blessing of a kind and thoughtful heart in the trials of life!!
Some people just have no tact -- what a shame she greeted your efforts so ungraciously!!
I have heard the "too much time on your hands" from a relative who shall remain unnamed. Jeesh. My remark was simply that I choose to make time for the things I enjoy doing. I think the world might be a happier place if more people managed to do that.
May you relish every moment you get to spend making cards ~ for everyone else ;^) ;^) !!!
Update: Guess who just called me, you got it, the SIL asking info about Xmas. She shays what ya doing? I told her playing with my paper and glue and loving it. I said why don't you come over and give it a try, you might like it. She says no, I could never compete with what you make. I told her, it's not a competition, it's fun and relaxing and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Still she says no. I think after the first of the year when I don't have so much to get done for Xmas it will be my mission to get her over here and get her stamping. I know I can win her over once I crack the ice.
That's wonderful!!
The relative who had made a similar comment to me also eventually said she could never make cards like that, too! But I still gave her a lot of my purged paper, etc., and you know what? She ended up making some of the most gorgeous scrapbooks you've ever seen ~ she could do it professionally!!!! You just never know. Good for you keeping an open mind!! :mrgreen:
My SIL is one of those people that just doesn't listen when you talk to her. Every conversation is about all about her. She thinks she has a stressful life, hello, she works 2 days a week, has adult kids, goes on vacations all the time. She isn't back from one when she is crying she needs another one. I can't tell you the last vacation I went on she says well your just stupid. I have decided to buy a box of cards from the dollar store just for her and keep on sending to all the people that love home made ones. Thank you all for your suggestions and comebacks. Maybe one of these days she will stop talking long enough to hear one. One of my other SIL's did say to her kind of jokeingly, I don't think you will have to worry about getting anything else. How true she was.
My mother is like your SIL. Nothing you do will ever make this kind of person happy. Sounds like she's jealous, immature and petty (as is my mother). I tried for so many years to get her approval and finally realized she's not capable of being nice. At 90 years of age, she is still hassling me about things she felt I failed in. She didn't fail because she didn't try.
Sounds like she's floating around life and hasn't got enough maturity, compassion or self worth to allow herself to compliment anything you do. I wouldn't waste any time trying to change her. Only she can do that if she wants to.
I said, I guess some of us are just lucky, please pass the gravy.
I love your response, and I think it was just perfect! Don't let her ruin your passion. As far as trying to get her to try crafting, I'd let that drop. She sees it as competition and from what you've written, I don't even want to think about the future conflicts it might unearth. I'd just keep giving her beautiful handmade cards and just relish the fact that you are the lucky one!
Make sure her dollar store card is the ugliest one you can find! It will match her attitude. She is not worthy of your talents..I'm so sorry she treated you this way:(
Thank you ladies for all your comments. I don't know how to link the card to this thread so I will try and get it in my gallery tonight. I love my paper crafting and she will never be able to take that away from me. It makes me to happy and relaxed. You all have made me feel much better. This is the only place I can go that would understand. Thanks again ladies, have a wonderful day.
Thank you ladies for all your comments. I don't know how to link the card to this thread so I will try and get it in my gallery tonight. I love my paper crafting and she will never be able to take that away from me. It makes me to happy and relaxed. You all have made me feel much better. This is the only place I can go that would understand. Thanks again ladies, have a wonderful day.
OMG! I commented earlier, but I just now took the time to view your gallery. Holy Smokes! You have some truly lovely cards and frames! Your SIL is the one with the problem, you have a talent, and she should be honored to receive one of your works of art!
I already commented on the rude (putting it mildly) sister in law but I wanted to tell you all a little story. My MIL and SIL was so into name brand items. Every Christmas when they would open the gifts we gave them for Christmas or birthdays, the first thing they would do is look at the labels. Like that was more important than whether or not the item was pretty. So, the following year after I had just had it with these people, I cut all the labels out of every gift I gave them. Loved the look on their faces when they saw the labels had been cut out. Some people are just inconsiderate and ungrateful no matter what you do. They aren't even worth an extra effort to please them. I'm not impressed by brand names or by buying things in fancy stores. I buy what I like and I've never given anyone a present I wouldn't be happy to receive myself. I'm always grateful for any gift I receive. Somebody took the time to pick something out for me and whether I'm thrilled with it or not, I am always gracious and the gift giver would never know the gift they bought wasn't my taste. I would never intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. Guess it takes all kinds. After the label cutting thing, the never checked the tags (in front of me anyway) again. I think they got the point.
These are the same comments I get from friends with kids..."of course you have time to craft, you don't have kids"..."of course you clean your house, you don't have kids"..."of course you're able to afford a sports car, you don't have kids". Ugh. I make time for what I like to do and enjoy; I can't stand a dirty house and I work HARD for what I have. What's with people? I have seen people juggle multiple kids, keep a nice house, drive a nice car, etc because they manage their life well.
I was recently very hurt by someone that I've considered my best friend for over 20 years. We've grown apart over the last couple of years, but I still tried to call and sent her cards letting her know I was thinking about her; never received responses from her (she never returned my calls or made an effort to get in touch with me). I got married in October and sent her an invite (keep in mind I was IN her wedding). She sends me a note on FACEBOOK asking what gift I would like! I told her the only gift I wanted was for her to attend. So she sends me another note on Facebook that her son has a soccer game that day, so she won't be able to attend. Huh?! She never returned the RSVP card and I never received a congrats card or anything. I guess that tells me what she really thinks about our friendship. I've finally given up at this point. I understand that her kids are important, but the game was 5 minutes from the wedding...I guess I thought maybe her husband could stay for the game while she attended my 10 minute ceremony...what was I thinking?
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that some people are just insensitive.
I also LOVE the "is that really what you meant to say" response!
You know, I think I would have said, in response to your SIL, "Why yes, yes I do have a lot of time on my hands. It allows me time to make cards and gifts for people I love. Oh, btw, you're not on the list anymore". Smile sweetly and go on about your business. And yes, I do say things like that when I feel I should stand up for myself and my hobby. I'm bad.
__________________ It always feels like somebody's watching me. Hey, is it YOU?
You know, I think I would have said, in response to your SIL, "Why yes, yes I do have a lot of time on my hands. It allows me time to make cards and gifts for people I love. Oh, btw, you're not on the list anymore". Smile sweetly and go on about your business. And yes, I do say things like that when I feel I should stand up for myself and my hobby. I'm bad.
and that is why I always read your name as "grandmamischief" :lol: You know I'm just teasing ya!
So sorry this happened but your response was perfect!!! Just step above it and go on your merry little way Remember that you have something that brings your joy and you like to share it in creating for others....it they choose not to receive it that way, that is THEIR choice. Maybe they need a hobby they enjoy as much :p
You know, I think I would have said, in response to your SIL, "Why yes, yes I do have a lot of time on my hands. It allows me time to make cards and gifts for people I love. Oh, btw, you're not on the list anymore". Smile sweetly and go on about your business. And yes, I do say things like that when I feel I should stand up for myself and my hobby. I'm bad.
My suggestion is to treat her with kindness. That throws them off every time. Smile and don't say anything unpleasant to her. I know what I'd want to say to her but don't.
I've tried the kindness bit and they don't know how to deal with it. The next time she says something snide, just smile and either say something pleasant or don't respond at all. She doesn't sound very bright or mature. I had a coworker who was out to get me and someone told me to just smile and don't act as if she was getting to me. It becomes easier with time. Eventually, the coworker quit. I found out she had said all kinds of bad stuff about me, none of which was true. Other people don't really like people like your SIL.
Think of how fragile life can be. Do you want to waste time on a bimbo like her? Smile and keep on stamping.
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to listen to that. Your SIL is definitely queen of rude.
There's a lot of one-up-man-ship in among my in-laws. Basically, my mother-in-law, though a wonderful woman, never once gave anyone a direct compliment. So, she ended up with a bunch of kids who compete with each other for whose the smartest, most talented, most whatever. They even had an argument over who liked vegetables the most. My guess is your SIL is horribly insecure. Your talent one-up'ed her so much, she thought she had to level the playing ground. She's just incapable of giving a compliment. Consider yourself her Martha Stewart - we all love to hate her because we'd all secretly like to be her.
And next time someone says something like that, just tell them what I do - "I don't have any more time than you do, I just manage it better." ;)
This is pure gold! I couldn't agree with someone more. Perfect comeback.. Even if you just think it. ;)
I made Thanksgiving cards and sent them out to family and friends. They took a little time with punched turkeys and pumpkins and embossing and turned out really nice. We had a late Thanksgiving family dinner this weekend and one of my SIL's says, someone in this family has way to much time on their hands. I wish all I had to do was play with paper all day and she looks at me. I said, I guess some of us are just lucky, please pass the gravy. My first thought to myself, that's the last Thanksgiving card she gets and my second she gets a store bought Xmas card if any at all. Maybe her invitation to the family Xmas party at my house will some how get lost in the mail. I'm still alittle stuned by the remark.
My mother's wise advice: consider the source. Put the comment and her out of your mind...life's too short to be upset by childish remarks.
I'm so sorry for someone in your family being so rude and in front of others at the Thanksgiving dinner table!
Like the rest........I would not waste any more time or thought on this incredibly rude person and take her off your handmade card list........and just send store boughten ones to this person if at all.............and I wouldn't take much time on gifts either.
I just got a chance to up load the card that set the dinner table a buzz.
Boss and butcherbabe thank you for your kind comments on my gallery. I didn't realize it has been so long since I up load anything.
Better watch out you just might get her Xmas card Thank you everyone for making me feel better.
You could always say....'Well...I thought you were worth it....sorry..my mistake!' and make sure that dollar store card she gets next year IS the ugliest one in the store! People who respond like that DO NOT deserve your time or your trouble.
I'm sorry you had to hear that kind of a comment especially on thanksgiving.
If someone ever said that to me I'd probably just look at them and laugh and tell them, no, not too much time on my hand, I just make time for it. And that would have been it about the whole thing. I'd still send that person a handmade card because it's too much work for me to buy one while I have tons of handmade ones already in my house.
Non-crafters just don't understand that we choose to do this instead of watching TV or spending the day at the mall, the hairsalon etc.
I checked out your card too..... it is a very nice card~ love all the responses to this situation..... there are times when I feel this way, and I plan on trying some of the responses that I have read here. I do the smiling thing~ just smile really big, but actually saying unkind words in my head~ but then I feel bad about that. I create and give cards because it makes me feel good and happy~ so I try to hold on to that thought.
__________________ Tammy~ Scatter seeds of kindness everywhere you go; Scatter bits of courtesy~ Watch them grow and grow. Amy R. Raabe
So rude!! No manners that SIL of yours. Some people need to just zip their lips before they put their mouths in gear.
I have heard similar comments like that in my time too. I say it's a hobby, I don't smoke, hang out at bars, or play non-stop bingo. (no offense to anyone who does those things)
It's how you spend your down time - it's quite rewarding to sit down with a cutter, inks, paper and stamps (or whatever tools) and create something so adorable. Don't let her get to you. She's just jealous.
I'd be hurt and then I'd be mad. Then I'd stew on it for days wondering where all the witty retorts in my head were when I needed them, lol.
My in-laws are like this, specifically my mother-in-law. She just says whatever comes to mind and I don't believe for a second that she's malicious, she's just blunt but it still hurts. I like spending the time to make gifts for people and I have those that are appreciative and I think that is because they are aware of what goes into crafts. If someone has never picked up cardstock and a tape runner, they have no clue that you can spend hours on just one project. I don't have time to sit around all day making cards. I end up losing sleep trying to make things and to be totally honest, there are some people that I will not lose sleep for!
Just another little anecdote - my husband's cousin's wife (ya keeping up :lol 4000 miles away from me always comments to her in-laws (husband's auntie and uncle) about how I make the cards I send. My husband gets a bit "offended" that she dissects my card. I have to repeatedly point out that she and her husband are graphic designers and its their job to work out how things are done and what they like and don't like etc. It honestly wouldn't bother me if she tore apart one of my cards I had given her to work out how I put it together. But somehow my husband (who normally grunts in my general direction about likes and dislikes of cards) seems to think this is impolite. I honestly think its a compliment that she noticed.
Maybe that's the key if someone noticed your card enough to notice it was handmade and comment on it, it IS a compliment no matter what actually comes out of their mouth!
To the OP: I think your response was perfect --exactly what I hope I would have done in that situation. What was so good was that you didn't make it about her. You kept it about you with "just lucky, I guess." With insults, intentional or not, I think it's important to keep the focus where it belongs, NOT on the person doing the insulting, no matter how much s/he wants the attention. I certainly wouldn't send her anything handmade again, but I wouldn't let the comment stick either. Being polite and distant is the best defense.
What an inconsiderate, ungrateful comment! But it's people like that who put the "fun" in dysfunctional families...
I would be ever so tempted to send her a piece of folded cardstock with a snowflake sticker stuck on front and inside write: Don't worry, I didn't spend two minutes on THIS card. Merry Christmas!"
(But I wouldn't...of course....no really, I wouldn't....LOL ;) )
My cousin said she would invite my elderly father and me to her house for Thanksgiving this year, but she said: "Then I'd have to do all the work." (She wouldn't have...because I would have brought things.) But then the next day she invited herself and her husband to OUR house. (I work full-time AND am primary care-giver for my 93-year-old father)...so I guess it was okay that I got to do all the work!! LOL
I don't think people really THINK about what they're saying before those little jabs just pop out. And perhaps (trying to give her the benefit of the doubt) she feels badly about saying it. It's obvious she's envious...not only of your talent but your opportunity to spend time on something you truly love. I don't know her situation...perhaps she doesn't have any time at all for herself, or perhaps she just doesn't manage time well...or she might not have something like papercrafting to give her joy...any way you look at it, she must be really unhappy to have made such a thoughtless comment. I hope it didn't spoil your entire day!!
I would, however, just send her a very simple hand-made card (if you - like me - have a hard time sending store-bought when I love making cards so much), or a simple one from the Dollar Store.
And perhaps (trying to be "big" here), you might take her aside at Christmas (if she's there) and say, "I know you must have lots of demands on your time, but if you ever do think you could carve out some "me" time, I'd love to help you learn to make cards...or scrapbook...or whatever..."
__________________ Jansy The one who dies with the most embellishments wins! www.gingersnappedgirl.blogspot.com
You can not let remarks like that get to you...Life is way to short to waste time on thoughtless, and jealous people...
She can't do it herself, so she has no idea what goes into paper crafting and is jealous of it and her way is to strike out with hurtful remarks, but, she is family and we only have them once in our life and some times to short at that...
Simply ignore her remarks and do not waste another postage stamp on her! Each family seems to have one, I do as many of others have too! Revel in the ones that admire you works of art ...
__________________ Karen
...My life is like a stroll on the beach...As near to the edge as I can go...Thoreau...
My only complaint (observation, really!), is that you don't have any recent uploads. We're waiting...patiently...
