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what to put in a gift for a friend newly diagnosed breast cance
One of my husbands closest co-workers was just diagnosed last week with "agressive" breast cancer. She is 30, has 2 very young boys and a wonderful husband. This has upset my hubby a little since she and I are the same age. His gut feeling is that she won't make it. We are praying for a different outcome, but she noticed the lump about 5 months ago and just recently consulted a Dr.
Anyway, he would like me to make a special card for her to put with her favorite chocolate. I want to make it a nice gift basket but don't know what else to put in it. I don't know what kind of card to make or what kind of verse to put in it.
He lost another friend/co worker a year or two ago to the same thing. THe card she needed then was basically one letting her know that she indeed made a difference in the lives of others, and that she would be greatly missed (it was very agressive and we all knew, including her, that she had limited time).
Does any one have any suggestions as to what to include in the basket? Should I make a cheery card, a sentimental card, and religious card? I am so shocked by this I am just drawing a complete blank here.
I would make it a "take care of yourself" kind of gift and a "wanted you to know we care" kind of card.
Without knowing her personally, it is hard for me to say exactly what to get. But you had mentioned chocolate...maybe some bath salts, lotions and a candle...maybe a good book, or a magaizine to relax with. I would focus on "relaxing" and "take time for yourself". Does that make sense?
Here are some things we've gotten my friend who is in the middle of chemo treatments for breast cancer....
Chicken Poop lip balm (available at Walgreens, funny name, but good stuff)
Fresh flowers
cute bandanas
movies (for watching when she feels crummy)
restaurant gift cards that do take out (cuz going out may not be an option with her immunity being compromised)
This last thing, I have a license for but anyone can do this if they are comfortable with it... My friend loves pedicures, but again with the immunity issue, not possible for her to go to a salon... so I use all her stuff and let her
soak her feet and then I file and polish her toes, give her a little leg rub. It really helps her feel "normal" and pretty when her hair was coming out and all. But it was a really easy thing for me to do for her. So if you know someone who is willing to do something like that, and if your friend enjoys a little pampering, that's my other suggestion.
Hope she does well. She'll be in our thoughts. It's a scary thing.
I would stay with a "we're thinking of you" type thing. Knowing what to put in the basket is hard. If she has to have chemo, lotions may irritate her skin (every body reacts differently to those chemicals). I think gift cards for take out dinners is an excellent idea. I think "coupons" with offers to help clean her house, do grocery, drive her to treatment and such may be a good idea.
It's a very sad situation and I hope that she does well. My thoughts are with her, her family and you!
so sorry to hear about your friend. There is a book out there, written by a breast cancer survivor, who was also diagnosed with BC at a very young age. in her late 20's...anyway, i met her at a breast cancer fundraiser, and she wrote this wonderful book called....why i wore lipstick...it's something like that. if you're out and about you could look for it in a book store or go to amazon and do a search. The book was made into a movie on lifetime tv.
i'm pming you!
thanks for the suggestions. I like the dinner cards and personal coupons. Will have to keep that in mind for the future. I know she will be having chemo starting pretty soon, so I'll get some hard candies and look for hte book.
Maybe you could make a journal for her to keep; there are tons of ideas in the gallery; just buy a compostion book and cover it, add some ribbon; or a pocket calendar to keep track of appointments and treatments; the other thing I thought of is a small book with inspirational quotes or prayers; I'm saying a prayer for her now and taking this as a reminder, as I hope we all do, to NOT WAIT if you find something; have it checked; early detection is key!
__________________ If you get and appreciate comments, leave comments! Pay it forward....You'll make someones day!
Unscented Moisturizer and Gatorade were my mom's 2 staples when she was undergoing chemo! You are sweet to do this for her, and she will appreciate it!
I made a card using the Causabella stamp and the word hope for a friend. And kept the inside simple, just thinking of you type note. I think take out gift cards are a great idea for those nights when she is tired. Also, don't know how close you are, but her kids might enjoy a special night out at a movie or your house. It would give her a little break, and also make her feel good that her kids were still enjoying some of the things they liked to do. I know sometimes even when you are sick you worry so much about your kids. This might relieve some of that.
thanks for the suggestions. I like the dinner cards and personal coupons. Will have to keep that in mind for the future. I know she will be having chemo starting pretty soon, so I'll get some hard candies and look for hte book.
You guys are so great. Keep the ideas coming!
I'm glad you got the info that you needed. Let us know what she thinks of it, please!!
Hi I just finished chemo for beast cancer about a year ago. It was my second time with the disease. I really appreciated short phone calls, movies, relaxing bath stuff, cards just saying somebody cared. You feel really alone when you are going through this and people seem to avoid you. So keep in contact with her even if it is just a card.
Hi I just finished chemo for beast cancer about a year ago. It was my second time with the disease. I really appreciated short phone calls, movies, relaxing bath stuff, cards just saying somebody cared. You feel really alone when you are going through this and people seem to avoid you. So keep in contact with her even if it is just a card.
What a wonderful insight. Thank you very much for your input Sandy!!! (This isn't my thread, but I'm glad to hear what you had to say.)
I also forgot to say if she is a scrapbooker or stamper she can do that when she doesn't feel like doing anything else. I scrapbooked 3 ancestory books for my sis's and I when I was going through chemo. So supplies and ideas are great too
My sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer (she has an excellent prognosis) and she starts chemo tomorrow. One of things she received from her sister in law is a "Chemo sucks" hat. Since we are many miles apart I gave her a book store gift card so she could get magazines. I should have included a blindfold since she hates needles! My prayers are with you all.
Here is a link for a hospital survival kit...tho the ideas above such as candies, lip balm, bandanas, books, lotion (Cetaphil is the best and highly recommended by dermatologists) and a journal would make a great survival kit as well (don't forget a pink lapel pin, if you think she'd like that)
You know, I don't have breast cancer, but I do struggle with chronic illness. I will share some of my favorite treasures from gifts when I am sick. One of the nicest things is a little set of small thank you notes with pre-stamped envelopes. Small cards are nice because you can write less A puzzle book can help pass time and keep your mind busy while in the doctor's waiting room. Oh, and a silly / happy pencil to use with the puzzle book is good. Do you know if she is religious? If she is, the book Hinds Feet on High Places is good. Someone donating to breast cancer research on her behalf might be nice too.
Personally, a card that is cute with some sort of hang in there message is what I prefer to get when I am sick.
Hope this helps. Bless you and your husband for caring about her.
I have a friend who is 28 and has gone through chemo and is now undergoing radiation for inflammatory breast cancer. She has a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old baby. Her cancer was diagnosed right after he was born. Something we have been doing for her at church is cleaning her home once a week so she can devote the energy she has to spending time with her boys and her husband instead of having to worry about things like that.
__________________ Wife of Greg & Mom of 5 GREAT kids!!! Being a mother is like taking your heart out of your chest and watching it walk around. MY BLOG
Movies or a Gift Certificate
Coffee and a special mug
Bath and Body Works
Lip Stuff
Barnes and Noble Gift Cert and/or Book(s)
Pack of premaid Thank you cards
Pack of Christmas Cards
Pink Socks, Scarfs, Mittens and Sweatshirt
A Great CD that you love and think she might like
Bouquet of the Month from FTD
A great pair of of pink gem earrings that'll stand out during chemo
Handheld Games
Puzzle Books
Journal with really nice pen
Frame with a picture of her support team ie...coworkers
Choclolate
Gift Cert for a Weekend away with Hubby to a near by nice Hotel in the beginning of Chemo like the first 2 weeks
__________________ ~Valerie~ My Altered States "If you cant be a good example then at least be a horrible warning."
I saw a card in the gallery quite aome time ago. It was the Loads of Love Truck colored pink and in the back the wagon part carried the word HOPE, which was individual blocks cut out from the Natural Beauty set. This idea only works of you have those sets, but it was perfect. How about giving her some homemade cards to send out? Surely she'll need to write some thank you notes.
I didn't make it shopping last night. I ran out of time. But, that is okay. I have a better idea of what I want now. Hubby and I will deliver the gift to her and her husband, probably over dinner this next coming week if they are availible.
I want to include:
Slippers
hard candy
her chocolate
puzzle book
reading book-perhaps chicken soup?
Pink stuff, bandana, socks, earrings, etc.
Fun novelty pen or pencil
lotions
a bunch of 3x3 thank yous
a decorated journal
Is there anything I can include for the hubby? I know it will be hard on him. I know it would be really tough on my man, to see me suffering like that and not "really" be able to help me. I kills hubby to see me deliver a baby, he just wants to take the pain away. I wish I could afford to give them a weekend getaway, but that is just not in our budget. Maybe I could offer to take the kidds for a weekend or something, but the kids don't know us, I don't know.
They live about 45 minutes to an hour (depending on the construction) from us.
Hi Deborah,
I am sending you a few items. I will try to get to the po today, but if not definately tomorrow. I have some perfume, mens' cologne, and some great face product that I had from the last fundraiser we did for BCRF.
Lorraine
My hubby is going to organize a group photo for early next week of her close friends on the faculty and students (optional) all wearing pink bandanas. I have a frame with a mat that has tons of room to write on it, so we'll have them write her an encouraging note too. Hubby loved that idea!
I picked up some
warm, safety textured, fuzzy pink socks
a pack of 3 shades of pink socks,
a pink and brown scarf
a pink bath pillow
pink lotion, bath salts, body wash and body butter
pink slippers
hard candies (jolly rancher, pink lemonade crystal light)
a composition book to decorate and include a matching beaded pen
a funny twisty pen
a neckalce/earring set pink heart shaped stone pendant & matching earrings
All the things for the little hospital survival kit
pink hand held fuzzy massager
Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul
chap stick
3 chocolate bars (her fave)
We'll put the photo in there and hopefully some personal letters of support.
Will also throw in a movie gift card, some popcorn and candy for him, and still thinking of ideas for him.
My neighbor will help me make a cute hat out of some fun shaggy pink fabric I have since I could not find a good, cute hat.
Will make a bunch of 3x3 thank you notes and put them in a cute matching container.
I would have loved to get this package she will feel sooo loved and will appreciate everything you do. Thanks so much for supporting her in this.
Sandy
Hubby said that she emailed the faculty today saying that the Dr's think she has had the cancer for about 10 years. She was encouraging everyone to keep up on preventative testing, (although they do it at every gyno exam I have ever done), sucks that they "missed" hers for so long. We (she and I) are too young for the recommended mammo's still. It is so scary! 10 freakin years. I guess it is just a matter of time. DH is not sure whether she will do the treatments or not. He said if it were him, he wouldn't. Why prolong the enevitable and be miserable during that precious time with the family and not to mention the financial burden it would leave me with. He asked what I would do, and I just said, I don't know. I am a fighter by nature, but on the other hand, if it had been in me for 10 years, who's to say how much longer I "have" before it takes me?
I was watching Montel yesterday (Monday) and he had a guest that had written a very positive book called Crazy, Sexy Cancer. It sounded really good and was this woman's journey through all types of alternative treatments. She has been living with cancer for years. And beating it. I know that your husband's coworker has had the disease for 10 years, but what does that really mean? And yikes! How could that happen? I wish her all the healing that my simple prayers can hold.
Lots of great ideas here, ladies! I've done a lot of volunteer work with cancer patients and have also had friends and family members go through chemo. The candles/lotions/lip balm area all great ideas, although I would warn against scented items. Often chemo makes the patient super sensitive to scented items. However, there are lots of great un-scented items out there.
Another thought -- someone mentioned her husband and her family. While she may not be up to eating much for awhile with the treatments, meals for her family that can be frozen are a great idea. There are meal assembly places out here called "Entree Vous" and I've also seen places called "Dream Dinners" where you can go and make meals (everything is pre-cut for you), put them in individual containers suitable for freezing. Each container has instructions for cooking on it. They can be stored in the freezer and thawed as needed. It's kind of a fun thing to do with a group, maybe of co-workers or neighbors?
I'd also recommend something to make her laugh -- cancer is such serious business, and laughter is such good medicine. Books, movies, humorous cards -- all good things.
One final thought -- what about gift certificates for something like a massage? There are wonderful massage therapists out there, some who are trained specifically to work with patients with chronic illness/surgeries/etc.
I hope your friend's treatments go well. It's a crummy disease, but so many more success stories now than there used to be. I hope she is one of them.
Another thought is to do "Simple Suppers To Go" or "Super Suppers" or one of those type of things for her--ya know, the kind where you go prepare meals and take them home and freeze. Our PTO did that for our social worker at school. We found the one that let us choose the portion size and let her choose her entrees from the menu that month. We went with the place that offered more "comfort food" rather than strange and exotic type food. She was excitted to have the food right there in the freezer and ready to bake (let DH bake) and it was enough to last more than a month.
When a 31 yr-old friend in my scrapping group had breast cancer and a double mastectmoy (a toddler and baby at home), we all took turn taking her a meal twice a week for a long time. Then just once a week, until she felt ready to have us quit.
Any way the office people could do either of these? The thing about "Simple Suppers" is that people can donate cash and oneor two people can go prepare the meals and deliver them all at once instead of it being ongoing. Sometimes that's simpler. Be sure to keep the cards ongoing, though!!! ;-)
__________________ Diane H.
TAC Demonstrator #1484/Manager, Smilin' Stampers My TAC SiteMy BLOG
Meals are a GREAT help. 2 Years ago I was in the ICU for 5 weeks due to a ruptured brain aneurysm and the hospital was in another town 45 minutes from home. DH and our boys would come every other day to see me right after work and school. By the time they got back home it was after 8 pm. Bless our neightbors as they always had some hotdish cooked up for them when they got home. That was a great relief for DH. After i got home from the hospital I could not do anything and they still sent a hgotdish every couple of nights for a couple of weeks. That was truly a blessing as it took some stress off of DH when he was trying to take care of everything. They also did take our boys once in awhile to a movie or skating to get their minds off of me being sick. I am praying for her and her family. Bless you for trying to make it easier for her.
I also had BC several years ago and my children were 3 & 6 at the time. I was going thru chemo over Christmas and a friend brought over home made cookie dough (shortbread and gingerbread) so I could do some baking with my kids when I felt up to it. Some premade dinners from our preschool moms really helped us too.
Because I couldn't go out too much, the cards, emails and calls really meant a lot to me. And LOTS of positive energy. I told people to worry about me behind my back. The People magazine subscription also sounds like a great idea.
Your gift basket and photo sounds so wonderful, I hope it brought her some comfort.
We went to visit her yesterday. We took the pictures from the school. It was so touching. Instead of wearing their red a black on Friday (spirit day) they were encouraged to wear pink, and most did. Hubby said it was awesome! They had to take 3 pictures to get everyone in, but all total there were probably around 5-600 in the picutres, including faculty, students, and others. We framed the 3 main pictures and they looked so great. It was awesome! It was her favorite part. Made us all tear up.
Her journal I made with So Saffron for the cover, stamped with the paisley from polka dots and paisley. Then I made a title "Celebrate" with Cameo Coral rock and rolled with rose red using the Letter Press set. I stamped on vanilla, and layered on tempt turquoise and then on chocolate chip. Below that I stamped "Today !" Using the Big Deal Alphabet with Chocolate chip ink directly on the saffron cover. I used the flower from the set and stamped two flowers with stems crossing and touched them with glitter on the petals, layered them on a piece of Cameo Coral cardstock and tied a Chocolate Taffeta ribbon around it and placed the flowers in the bottom right corner (had to cover up a pink slip up on the cover!) I used the wide twill tape to create the spine. It looked adorable. I didn't have time to scan it though. I will have to make another one to upload. I chose "Celebrate TODAY" to remind her to just take things one day at a time and to find something each day to celebrate. She really liked the journal (doesn't stamp so she was way impressed with how beautiful it was). She mentioned that she had been thinking she needed to go get a journal because she had so many thoughts running around in her head, and she wanted to get them out, so she loved that.
I think it was very theraputic for my hubby too. He needed to see her. He tends to be pesamistic, and has been so scared for her. Granted, she hasn't started treatments yet, but was so worried. He needed to see her in her usual chipper bubbly self. He commented on the way home, "well, if attitude has anything to do with recovery, she will be okay".
She is getting a Portacath put in next week for the chemo. I think she will start the actual treatments a week after that. She chose to do a 6 month course. They said they could do it in 3 months, but it would be a lot harder on her and she wanted to have some energy to get through and enjoy the holidays. So she chose smaller doses longer.
Her kids are 12, 5, and about 18 months. They all walked in the B.C. walk in Salt Lake yesterday morning. Her baby wore a skunk costume and they pinned "cancer stinks" to his chest. They were able to raise $2000 for research! I think she said $200 came from the school!
Thanks so much for all your help and suggestions. I will occasionally post follow ups.
It's strange, Deborah. After you posted this originally and I replied, I decided to keep the thread in my subscribed threads. I didn't really have a reason, but I did it, anyway. Just last week, though, my mom's best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer .....
I think I will be doing a paint can or basket in the next couple of weeks.
what to put in a gift for a friend newly diagnosed breast cance
