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I distributed my hand-made cards to my co-workers today. Just about everyone had something nice to say. (I can't believe my interest in stamping and scrapping makes ME the crafty one in our office. )
Anyhow, not to focus on the negative (ok, I'm focusing on the negative) but one woman's comment when she got my cards was, "it looks like you have too much time on your hands". :???:
I just didn't say anything in response.
I could tell she probably said that before thinking how it would sound, but it did kinda hurt my feelings.
But I feel better now after sharing with my fellow stampers.
You should have replied that everyone needs time for a hobby to help keep them sane. Her hobby may be knitting, and that takes time. If someone doesn't have a hobby, then I feel sorry for them, because those that have no passion in their lives are missing out.
For all she knows you could have whipped the card up in 5 minutes. The fact that she said it looks like you have too much time on your hands probably meant that it looked like a lot of work went into them, and I'm sure she is wishing she had your talent.
There's always one party pooper in the crowd, isn't there?
Keep stamping and smiling; and next year, don't give her a card if she can't appreciate it.
She's just jealous that she can't manage her time better so that she has time to create beautiful works of art and share them with everyone around her.
I get this comment and others like it a lot because I'm a stay at home mom. Its offensive. I know. I have had a lot of practice responding to people like this. I usually respond to it like this, and I really poor on the syrup, bat my eyes a bit, you know what I mean:
"Its not that I have too much time on my hands Nelly Negative, its just that I find if I make some time to do something I really enjoy and feed my creative needs, I'm a much better person. My family likes me better when I get time to be creative and sharing what I enjoy makes me feel so (pause) worthwhile." (Insert fake smile here)
People who are negative usually can't stand that kind of response. And, you will have basically told her off but you were SO NICE she can't possibly be angry with you.
I agree everyone should have a hobby. It does help to keep you sane.
I would just ignore that comment and look at the positive ones you got. Those should make you feel good and since you only go one negative the positive should definately be more how you feel.
I am always excited when people are positive about my hobby.
sometimes I have people who think I have too much time but right now I do cause I don't have kids yet so I have time to do my fun hobby.
Glad the majority liked them. I bet they were beautiful!!
I'm a demo, and I have one customer who has made that comment more than once...I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT! My response is..."It's my job, it's what I do!". I'm also a SAHM, so I really like the above-poster's response as well. I may have to use that one, too. Hang in there and come up w/ something really snappy for the next time you hear it, because I guarantee you will hear it again. Hugs!
I had a similar experience with my "just moved" cards, the only thing was that I did not make them, my sister made them as a gift to me. I replied that my sister made them and when one puts that much time into something like that, it just shows how much they care. That made her face red and she tried backtracking, I think she got my point/dig. I was hurt by the comment and decided then and there she gets one of those store bought cards that have been collecting dust in the bottom of my closet for now on, I am so glad I kept those cards!
Chrissy - Your quote is hilarious, and......SO true!! I just don't get people sometimes!! Can I use you when my MIL makes "open mouth, insert foot" hurtful comments like that?? - HAAAA
Thanks for adding a chuckle to my day!!
And to the original poster, keep doing what you LOVE to do! Don't let one rotten apple spoil the bunch! Sounds like she made the "naughty list" this year - hee!:rolleyes:
Stacy
Quote:
Originally Posted by StampinChrissylea
She's just jealous that she can't manage her time better so that she has time to create beautiful works of art and share them with everyone around her.
I get this comment and others like it a lot because I'm a stay at home mom. Its offensive. I know. I have had a lot of practice responding to people like this. I usually respond to it like this, and I really poor on the syrup, bat my eyes a bit, you know what I mean:
"Its not that I have too much time on my hands Nelly Negative, its just that I find if I make some time to do something I really enjoy and feed my creative needs, I'm a much better person. My family likes me better when I get time to be creative and sharing what I enjoy makes me feel so (pause) worthwhile." (Insert fake smile here)
People who are negative usually can't stand that kind of response. And, you will have basically told her off but you were SO NICE she can't possibly be angry with you.
;)
__________________ Chocolate hugs and stamping wishes,
Stacy
She's just jealous that she can't manage her time better so that she has time to create beautiful works of art and share them with everyone around her.
I get this comment and others like it a lot because I'm a stay at home mom. Its offensive. I know. I have had a lot of practice responding to people like this. I usually respond to it like this, and I really poor on the syrup, bat my eyes a bit, you know what I mean:
"Its not that I have too much time on my hands Nelly Negative, its just that I find if I make some time to do something I really enjoy and feed my creative needs, I'm a much better person. My family likes me better when I get time to be creative and sharing what I enjoy makes me feel so (pause) worthwhile." (Insert fake smile here)
People who are negative usually can't stand that kind of response. And, you will have basically told her off but you were SO NICE she can't possibly be angry with you.
;)
You're right, it is offensive. I love your reply! It's a good thing that I kept my mouth shut 'cuz knowing me I would have come back with something equally as offensive as her comment!
Now after the fact I can come up with all sorts of snappy comebacks. Like, "I use stamping as therapy and with snotty co-workers like you, I need a lot of therapy"
But that wouldn't have been very nice, now would it?!?
Thank you all so much for your encouragement, you guys (gals?) are so sweet!
I usually laugh when people say that to me! Then I go on to list ALL of the stuff I do (way too overcommitted but I'm learning to say no so I have more time to stamp HA) and say that I make stamping fit into my schedule because I enjoy it. I usually point out that they probably watch TV or read a book etc and I stamp, most (there are some that truly do not) people have time for some sort of hobby! They're just jealous of your talent HA!!!!
Laurie
My favourite response I have heard for the nasty "too much time on your hands" comment is, "No, I have the same number of hours in a day as everyone else, and just as many committments. I don't have more time than anyone else; I just choose to make the time to do special things for the people who are important to me."
one woman's comment when she got my cards was, "it looks like you have too much time on your hands". :???:
I just didn't say anything in response.
My SIL is a music teacher and every year she gets something very small for her students. She has a lot of students, so it is usually something like a pencil with music notes on it, candy, lip balm, etc. Invariably, some kid will say, "THIS IS ALL WE GET???" SIL has a great answer and this works for grownups as well. She says, "The proper response is 'Thank You.'" Then she will tell them if they don't appreciate the gift, they may give it back.
You may all use my comments freely. Adjust to the situation of course. Call me the queen of tact.
I used to work in a cosmetic department at an upscale department store. The majority of my customers were fabulous. But, I had some really snooty, obnoxious, you owe me the world types. There were some you just couldn't please. I got very good at being sweet. Sometimes my coworkers would gather and watch from afar if particular customers came in, just to see what I would say.
The best is when I could get to the point with a bad one where I got to say: Its obvious that you and I aren't communicating effectively. Why don't I get someone who might be able to service your needs better." Then I'd get the department manager who was lots less sugary sweet than me and she'd get nowhere. It was great.
"it looks like you have too much time on your hands".
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one!!! :rolleyes: I feel your pain. Don't let it bother you, just cross her off your list of handmade card recipients.
I could tell she probably said that before thinking how it would sound, but it did kinda hurt my feelings.
Could it have been more of a lack of social skills (and communication skills) on her part than a deliberate jab? She might have used that tired cliche more as a quick & snappy answer than to intentionally hurt you. Anyhow, don't let it get you down. YOU know your cards were fabulous, right?? Linda
__________________ Linda
”From the rising of the sun to its setting,the name of the Lord is to be praised!”
Oh, my gosh! My friend (cynamom on this site) and I have discussed this over the weekend! You wouldn't believe the comments I get - many of which come from moms who stay home and tell me that if they don't have time to take care of children and keep up a home, they wonder how I do - since I work & commute! I have been really mad in the past, but I know these people are jealous or just negative-type personalities. I tell them that I don't (which is true) and that I need it for therapy. STAMPING ABSOLUTELY IS MY THERAPY. It helps me deal with people like her! Keep your chin up and keep on stampin'! Gay Howe
Since I am a demo I usually respond with, "Actually, it is something I really enjoy, and doesn't take as much time as you may think. If you like you can come to my next club meeting and you can see how fun it really is." That way you have offered to share your talent and shut her up at the same time.
That is just so rude! I probably would have said something like: "No, I just like to stamp when most people veg and watch TV". Not really snappy, but gets one thinking about how rude it is to devalue how someone else spends their downtime.
Since I am a demo I usually respond with, "Actually, it is something I really enjoy, and doesn't take as much time as you may think. If you like you can come to my next club meeting and you can see how fun it really is." That way you have offered to share your talent and shut her up at the same time.
See, the "too much time" comment rubs me SOOO wrong, I wouldn't want her at my events. But that's just me. I know I'm really funny like that.
Could it have been more of a lack of social skills (and communication skills) on her part than a deliberate jab? She might have used that tired cliche more as a quick & snappy answer than to intentionally hurt you. Anyhow, don't let it get you down. YOU know your cards were fabulous, right?? Linda
I'm betting on this one. Last week I went to a potluck & one of the ladies insisted that I try her dump cake & then went on to tell me exactly how she made it (not caring to ask if I wanted to know!), she was surprised that not many people had tried her cake. I said "oh, really? It looks like my grits casserole is almost gone." She looked at me & said "I don't like grits!" and turned around & left!!! LOL! ooookay! Tacky, maybe but kind of funny!
As for the "Someone has too much time" line; I just say "nope, I just have 24 hours a day too!"
Stamping is much less expensive than therapy sessions...AND so much more rewarding. I love to give my stamp art to friends and family that appreciate and love it much more than I do those that have an attitude. I actually had the worst customer ever attend a class for FREE. All she did was complain and make rude comments about the price of SU! versus buying a cheap card. It took everything I had in me not to kick her out of my house. She offended me, my customers, and my step-daughter. I made it through the class and attempted to ignore her at church or other social activities...GUESS WHAT??? She is now one of my downline!!!
I kiddingly told my upline that she could end up being my best customer or a demo herself...LADIES, I converted her and she is now actually a good friend of mine as well.
Her problem was she did not know or understand the love of stamping...Now she does and she is a changed woman..SO THERE IS HOPE FOR THOSE RUDE OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE OF THE WORLD...JUST keep smiling and pray for strength to not choke 'em! LOL
I think that comment comes from jealousy too. It's extremely rude though. I would have made a comment about being sorry she didn't have a passion or couldn't manage her time to have a hobby.
Why is it so hard to ignore the one bad comment and focus on the nice ones? I know I would be doing the same as you if it had been me.
Don't let the Debbie Downers of the world get you down, sister-friend.......just keep on stampin like you mean it!!! And I know you mean it!! And you know I know you mean it! You know what I mean??
This is what my SIL said when I told her about this situation. She made some adorable paint can gifts for her husband's siblings with a "Christmas Survival Kit" poem she made up herself. She wrapped the cans in red paper, made a black "belt," painted buttons and slide mounts gold for belt buckles, and wrapped gold tinsel around the handles. They were precious. She got ONE thank you note and her SIL said she had "obviously too much time on your hands. :^) Just teasing - I'm actually jealous!"
how about, "Try again, I'm sure that came out wrong!"
in the same vein as that music teacher's "The right answer is 'Thank-You'..."
__________________ if your path is boobytrapped you are probably on the right track to treasure BUT if everything is inordinately hard you probably are rushing to the final exam in the wrong place a day early.
OK, there are all sorts of ugly people out there - some of them family memebers - my sister for one - when I told her that I was loving my DS job, she said in a VERY nasty voice "I'm glad you found something you like to do, now don't forget what your REAL job is" (we were in a family business together - and I hated it!) - insinuating that all I did was play around with 'fun' stuff - this is something I think a lot of us in DS have to face - Nasty People! I have a book that deals with them - it was a lifesaver - it's called (you guessed it!) "Nasty People" by Jay Carter, PSy.D. www.books.mcgraw-hill.com
Hope you don't think this is a thread hi-jack - I am just trying to help out, here! ;)
I've unfortunately been the recepient of that comment as well. There's also the people who feel it is their duty to inform you that they just don't feel the need to spend all that time/money on making Christmas cards that people will just throw away (said in their "oh, you poor, misguided girl" voice).
But you know what? I had someone say to me just this week at church that was looking forward to my Christmas card this year and that she saved my Christmas card from last year because she loved it so much... and that made me forget about any other negative comments that might come my way about it. I am enjoying working on my cards tonight and I love knowing that some people really do appreciate the thought and time that goes into what I love to do. I am not the misguided one, after all!
__________________ Paper Crafts Go-to-Gal member #1507gallery witticisms... a witty blog
I obviously wasn't there, but I, too, have been the recepient of that comment. BUT, it has never truly been meant in a mean way, but in a sarcastic, joking manner (or maybe I'm just too naive and haven't gotten what they intended). In an"I wish I had the talent" kind of way. This is how some people actually compliment (and I am one of them). I go to a group of moms at home and many of them make pies from scratch, and what do I say to them??? "You have too much time on your hands." They know that I have the utmost repect for their work. Everyone has a different sense of humor, so maybe the girl meant it in a very nice way, but like me is a backward complimenter??!!
Then again, she could have said it and meant it in a very hateful manner.
__________________ mel mom to carson, cooper, cole, and cammie
Next year I wouldn't give her a card. If she asked why...I'd just tell her "I didn't have enough time."
Thats is what I would do. People like that aren't even worth the blank 50 cent cards you buy at walmart. Don't give her a thing.
This reminds of something that happened just a few weeks ago. My upline holds a monthly demo meeting for her downline. We all bring ready made swaps. this one lady decided to make her swap a gift for all of us. She did a bag-a-lope stamps with poinsettia awash beautifully colored tied with organdy ribbon. Inside was peppermint handmade soap that she made. I thought oh sweet is that. This woman is so nice too. One other lady opened it and said real snotty as she smelled it, "oh I can't stand peppermint." and God bless her without a bat of and eyelash she "Well then don't take it." And turned away. I so wanted to high five her. Don't take any crap or people will dish in hearty spoonfuls.
I obviously wasn't there, but I, too, have been the recepient of that comment. BUT, it has never truly been meant in a mean way, but in a sarcastic, joking manner (or maybe I'm just too naive and haven't gotten what they intended). In an"I wish I had the talent" kind of way. This is how some people actually compliment (and I am one of them). I go to a group of moms at home and many of them make pies from scratch, and what do I say to them??? "You have too much time on your hands." They know that I have the utmost repect for their work. Everyone has a different sense of humor, so maybe the girl meant it in a very nice way, but like me is a backward complimenter??!!
Then again, she could have said it and meant it in a very hateful manner.
Not to start anything at all, but i personally don't say "you have to much time on you hands" when someone hands me a handmade gift. Because thats not what you say out of politeness. And that is one phrase you should not say. Even if the card god awful, I say "thanks this is beautiful." Because it came from them sincerely. KWIM?
Not to start anything at all, but i personally don't say "you have to much time on you hands" when someone hands me a handmade gift. Because thats not what you say out of politeness. And that is one phrase you should not say. Even if the card god awful, I say "thanks this is beautiful." Because it came from them sincerely. KWIM?
This quote from you may be out of place, but from me it truly is not and is not rude.
I would obviously never say that to someone who does not know me that well. BUT, for the people who I know through groups like the moms at home, church, and different crafting things, they know the real me. The real me is going to say that, and they know what is really meant by it. It is hard to really "get" someone's personality over a message board, but I am not an impolite, uncaring witch. Words, phrases, sentences can be taken in all kinds of ways depending on how they're said (even saying "thanks, this is beautiful" can be said in many different tones and therefore mean different things.) I was simply pointing out that this lady could have meant what she said in the same manner as I say it: in a totally joking, in awe of the person's talent kind of way. And that statement from me is always followed by admiration. If I were to be all saccharaine sweet, my 2 clubs would kick me out the door! I am not mean, I am just have very joking type personality.
I am not being impolite, and I would never tell someone a card or gift was crappy (although I had someone tell me one of my cards for a swap was "interesting."). I am just saying that for some of us, we are joking and nice and sweet. Heck, I even joke to others about the reason I stamp is because I have too much time on my hands (I know, isn't it terrible?). Everyone knows what a total joke it is.
I just think that sometimes we are super sensitive to comments that are made about an area in our lives in which we are somewhat insecure. And the comments can be made with the best of intentions, but we take them the wrong way. Personal Example: I used to be super sensitive about the fact that my younger sister was super gorgeous, and everyone always commented on that. I used to think that people were so rude to say something along the lines of: "wow! Colleen is so beautiful, isn't she? Only she could be so dressed down and still look like a million bucks." or how someone actually asked my now dh if he was dating me to get to my sister!! I would think, thanks a lot, am I really that ugly??!! It has only been now that I have accepted who I am and am comfortable with who I am, that I can understand how the people who say those comments intended them, and they don't bother me. (enough of the personal therapy session).
I think that sometimes as crafters, we feel that other people don't value our time, so when someone makes a comment like that, we immediately take it the wrong way even if it wasn't intended that way. I just know that my time is extremely valuable, and I am confident in my work and my time. I just don't let anyone else's comments bother me (including my mom and sister who do think that I am wasting my time). I know that if they truly understood what it was about, they would see that it is a good use of what precious little free time I have.
ANYWAY, that said, this lady may be a heartless witch, and if she is, please take everyone else's advice!!!!!
__________________ mel mom to carson, cooper, cole, and cammie
Hey Roo my mom is like that too. She makes little side comments about all the time i put into this "hobby'. Im thinking 'I finally found my niche and she makes fun of it.' or she'll make comments like "Geez your getting more stamps don't you have enough." Even though my collection is small and she isn't addicted and of course she knows you can never have to many stamps. Not to get off topic or anything. What else you said is also exactly true as well. there are people out there that that is their way of complementing people by insulting them. (kind of weird). i used to work with a lady who was like that and deep down people knew she was just jealous of people in many aspects. And made comments like that just to feel better. I certainly don't think your a cold hearted witch. I have seen a ton of your posts and you have always come off as a kind and sweet and a caring person. I have the personality that people know when im joking but if you didn't know me you'd think i was a cold hearted person too. But Im the nicest person I know.;) You know what i mean. have a good one.
