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TOO FUNNY - THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST
> Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite
> humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
>
> 1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
>
> 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
>
> 3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
> 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
>
> 5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
>
> 6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
>
> 7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
>
> 8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
>
> 9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
>
> 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
>
> 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
>
> 12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
>
> And the best one of all..
>
> 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?":twisted:
__________________ Michele
<--------- No more braces! After 4 years, 4 months and 8 days - my teeth are free.
* MY BLOG * FOLLOW ME ON FB
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
__________________ Michele
<--------- No more braces! After 4 years, 4 months and 8 days - my teeth are free.
* MY BLOG * FOLLOW ME ON FB
Got anything good for a "combined" 100th birthday party? My cousin is turning 40 and her husband is turning 60 within a week of each other so they are having a 100th birthday party.
These quotes were absolutely fabulous when I read them to myself and laugh out loud hilarious when I read them out loud to my daughters!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Art is intended to provoke an emotion from a total stranger. If you�ve succeeded in this, consider yourself an artist. Paper Shanks Blog. Love me or hate me, you are still talking about me
If you ever read the book sisterhood of the traveling pants these are quite familiar-
Not all who wonder are lost -j.r.r. tolkien
Luck never gives: it only lends. -Ancient chinese proverb
Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. -Anonymous
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. -Jerry Seinfeld
Love is like war: easy to begin. hard to end. -Proverb
Rule #1: the customer is always right.
Rule #2: if the customer is wrong, please refer to rule #1. -Duncan Howe
When live hands you a lemon, say, "oh yeah, I like lemons. What else ya got?"- Henry Rollins
Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.- Mark Knopfler
If you feel like you're under control, you're just not going fast enough.-Mario Andretti
The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitued about the problem. Got that? -Coach Brevin
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully throughout the entire catalog. -Sears Roebuck catalog
Of the thirty-six ways of avoiding disaster, running away is best. -Anonymous
Life is so . . . whatever. -Kelly Marquette
You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true and also fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seiously distress her. - Winston Churchill
My karma ran over my dogma. -Bumper Sticker
You can take a road that gets you to the stars, I can take a road that will see me through. -Nick Drake
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. -Ralph Emerson
All Moanday, Tearday, Wailsday, Thumpsday, Frightday, Shatterday.-James Joyce
I found some fun word stamps at Hambostamps.com. I used one recently on a Bday card for a friend. "Birthdays are like wedgies ... they keep creeping up on you." Check them out under Humor and Limericks.
I think that we all should thank Ladydoc for starting this thread waaay back in January of 2006! It has been going for 1 1/2 years and is still waaay too funny. May this be the most long-lived thread on SCS EVER!
Thank you very much. I have some of those printed and they hang on my little cubby wall at work. These are great and I'm gonna use 'em!!!
Thanx again
Pam
I found some fun word stamps at Hambostamps.com. I used one recently on a Bday card for a friend. "Birthdays are like wedgies ... they keep creeping up on you." Check them out under Humor and Limericks.
Here's hoping you'll spend your special day surrounded by friends and family!
(and it's not an intervention) here's a link
This is a great thread. The funniest card I have seen said "Sister, I hope to see you pretty soon" on the front, and on the inside it said "you've been ugly for so long".
The funniest B-day card I ever saw was a drawing-style picture on the front with a one-liner inside.
On the front was an average family of four in the foreground, standing in front of their house, and next to their mailbox. The house is on fire, the family is on fire (but otherwise looking cheerful enough), and the name "Crandall" is on the mailbox.
Location: Sunny Arizona- eat your hearts out, Snowbabies!
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Have this on a stamp somewhere:
Occasionally, her afternoon tea ran right into cocktail hour and there was just nothing she could do about it.
More: (Art Impressions)
Don't change a thing about you...let me do it.
My back goes out more than I do.
Organized people are just too lazy to hunt for things. (my personal motto!)
