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I'm not married so I don't have to worry about anyone else "putting their foot down..." yet. My boyfriend and I are pretty serious so I imagine I may have to deal with this issue at some point. I already know he thinks I have more stuff than I can ever use (that may be true...but so what? lol) But I also know that he wants me to be happy and have whatever I need/want as long as we can afford it so hopefully when the time comes that we get married we will figure it out.
We discuss anything generally over $50.00 is if comes out of our general budget. No one really "put their foot down", but we will discuss it and sometimes we get it and sometimes we wait. However, we do have an "allowance" that we each get based on our current budget (hubby is self employed so it changes) and how we each spend that money is our own decision. He likes eating lunch out way more often than I do, so that comes from his allowance, almost all mine goes to craft supplies. The only time he has ever said anything about my supplies was a time when I was buying things and not really using them...like the stacks and stacks and stacks of paper!
that's why I became a demo so I didn't have to answer to him about how much I was spending. He just shakes his head when the boxes come in but since he doesn't have to pay for it he can't comment. Also, my DH is a golfer in sunny San Antonio...'nuff said!!:rolleyes:
I speak the truth not so much as I would, but as much as I dare, .......and I dare a little more as I grow older. -Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)
My hubby has never put his foot down. We both agree on what we do with our money and we each have our own hobbies. Generally speaking (in our home) we will discuss any purchases over $100.
To be honest, I feel it's just common sense on how we manage our spending. We spend our money wisely, we don’t smoke, we don’t drink, we hardly ever eat out, etc. My husband knows exactly how much all of my craft items cost; we keep no secrets from each other. Except for our mortgage we don't owe anyone a penny. We don't believe in credit cards and we pay for everything in cash, yes everything- even our cars.
What an interesting thread. I never really have to justify what I am buying for my hobbies.....two of them,,,ok maybe three but I do keep DH informed of the costs. We have seperate checking accounts because our jobs required that we use direct deposit and it is easier to fix mistakes if we have seperate accounts. That said, we both pay the bills and not always the same ones each month, depends on when they come and who just was paid (different pay schedules). Due to an inheritance we were able to pay our house off early and create a liquid savings account. The only rule we made for it was, if we "borrow" from it, we pay it back within 90 days. As to my stamping hobby, when I go to stamp club once a month he always asks,,,,"Do you have enough money? You can take my check book and get what you want." And most generally, I answer thanks but I don't need much this month and I can cover it. The CB is the only machine I have but I am addicted to punches and nesties and I have some I have never used YET!. Retirement begins the end of the school year and I am looking forward to having daily crafting time instead of weekends only. I don't anticipate expenses going up as a result though as I have a fair stockpile of supplies--for sure I don't need more stamps,,,adhesive is the only item that will need restocking.
If I wanted an expensive item like the circut or big shot, I would talk it over with DH but I know his answer would be get it if you need it.
His only hobby is fishing and that is fairly cheap around here. My photography and papercrafts cost way more. If we ever can build the shop he wants then it will be another story as he wants to do woodworking.....
__________________ c-mouse-If you can't say nuttin nice--don't say nuttin at all. Thumper. Pansy
Card Sketch Challenge 1-227 done only 396+ to go to be caught up!!!!!
My DH is great. When I wanted a new camera and thought I'd save for it, he encouraged me to get it straight away once he understood why I wanted it over the one I had, since the money was there. He said if he could afford to upgrade his motorbike as easily, he'd do it. He knows that I don't spend what we can't afford, and as long as our bank balance keeps going up, he knows that I am not over-spending. Doesn't stop him saying * Is that another new stamp* when he spots something he doesn't recognize, though. We've gone through two bouts of him being out of work, so we've had our hard times - because of that I appreciate being in a position where we do have some extra money. He's much slower to spend on himself.
You know, it's sort of interesting how almost every single one of us thinks we either "have enough stuff" or wayyyyyyy to much stuff. Out of all of my hobbies this one is by far the cheapest. My sewing room alone probably is worth SEVERAL thousands of dollars. My guitars were several hundred dollars each. There is an $18,000 cello in my living room. My piano is old...so right now it really has no value to speak of except sentimental value. My tarot deck collection is housed in my dining room hutch on display. I have about 120 decks, but they are worth far more than my papercrafting supplies.
So, I think the reason I sometimes feel slightly guilty about all of my papercrafting stuff is that there is just so darn much of it. But in fact accumulated over time a stack of paper here, a few sets of stamps at a time , then some markers , then my biggest purchase - a cuttlebug! A cuttlebug for pete's sake has been my single most expensive purchase. Then comes a few embossing folders on sale, some nesties on sale.......... well it all just sort of started accumulating. But when I compare it to my other hobby investments it is really quite reasonable. The only hobby that for me is cheaper is the crocheting. Yarn. Thats really all you need....just a few skeins of yarn. Crochet hooks never wear out, and patterns can be found for free all over the internet.
So, I really do like this whole papercrafting thing...... I can surround myself with a mountain of supplies when in fact taken individually the cost is actually quite reasonable.
So that settles it. I've just talked myself into placing that order that's in my shopping cart at Oh My Crafts. Wayyyyy cheaper than that hand carved low D irish whistle I've been wanting. Phew..... I just saved myself some money!
__________________ A good dog, a sewing machine, and an old guitar......
Fun thread to read! I have a separate craft account that I spend from. None of that money came from our budget, I've earned it selling stuff or holding classes, etc. So DH doesn't mind my spending that money, and I don't generally make big purchases anyway. I did consult him when I was looking to buy the big shot and upgrade my paper cutter, and he was all for it, woohoo!
The only time he complains is when a box comes for me. He says he never gets any, and I tried to tell him to start stamping and they would magically appear, but he wasn't interested, lol!
I can't imagine my DH even asking what I spend. I mean he does know I buy alot of stuff, he usually carries down to the stamp room for me. Our main agreement is to keep the living are of the house uncluttered with crafts, etc. I get most of the downstairs for me. He's built my shelves and cabinets for my stamps and supplies.
It would be so odd if he said anything I'd wonder if he had been taken over by aliens
__________________ Denise
"If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.�
― Spider Robinson
My DH is expecting an $800.00 box of truck parts for his off road vehicle. Don't ask what tires cost!!
The foot might get crushed if it were to get put down.
That said I do all the finances in the house. I know how much he likes his hobby and how much it costs (this years family vacation is an off road rally:rolleyes
I don't work (stay home with the girls) he makes all the money in our home and is a great enabler. Tells me all the time to order stuff.
I am the foot.
Lately I haven't been using my stuff as often so I find it hard to purchase new things. He on the other hand is president of the off road club and builds his own rig while his budget is greater than mine its my own choice.
If I ever need/want anything the problem isn't talking him into it is it convincing myself its worth it.
We don't share money in our house - we never have and never will. Both came from marriages where money was a big issue (i.e., mine is mine and yours is mine) LOL
His hobby is photography and I could buy a lot of stamps for what one camera costs and then there are lens, lights, tripods, yada, yada, yada.
We have specified bill we pay, if we want to buy something for the house we pool funds, but otherwise we practice "what's mine is mine" so no one ever puts their foot down unless you do it to yourself.
We have a budget and each of us gets a allowance each month. We agreed that we can spend it however we want and the other person isn't allowed to say anything about that money. So that way we can each get what we want and it avoids the arguments over how to spend those funds.
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My husband has never put his foot down and never asks what anything costs that I buy (stampy related or otherwise).
He likes to see what I got and he oohs and ahhs over it and acts like he knows what it is and it's the best thing ever......but that's the extent of his involvement.
I am fortunate, too, that my husband is very understanding. This is my cheap hobby. My other one eats and has to have vet care and entry fees and stuff. He is also a hunter, so his hobby is quite expensive too. We both make decent money, so that helps.
I could NOT deal with someone who told me what I could or couldn't spend. I have a dear friend whose husband does that, and their marriage is miserable because of it. I work hard for my money (we both do), and intend to play hard as well. It's what makes working hard worth it.
__________________ Diana
*******
Save your drama for your llama.
My sweet hubby....whenever we have new guests and he shows them around the house or I have a new stamp buddy he never fails to say when we get to my stamp room "and here is the most expensive room in the house". I do not use any of our joint household funds to buy my toys. I raise the money myself by selling cards and stuff. He never begrudges me a thing in my room. I am happy that my boxes come while he is gone though...lol. Anyway, he even brings me stuff from different places he travels. If he is near a hobby lobby sometimes he will go in and find something and bring it home. He came home from Sams one day with the round carousel full of the fancy scissors...When he was in Denver one time he asked me what the clear stamps I was looking for looked like and he sent me pictures from a Walmart with his cell and picked up the ones I was not able to find here....he is a very sweet wonderful man.
blessings.
Great topic. I'm laughing at "don't ask don't tell." I'm married to a golfer too so that does give a person a little wiggle room. We just split whatever is left over after paying the bills and we can each use it for a combination of gas, eating out and hobbies. It works and keeps the peace - no need for deets!
My hubby wouldn't, he is too much of an enabler...and I make cards for when people he work with are sick, moving, had a baby and so on. He likes to give me crap about how much stuff I have, but likes to show off my cards. I always get some money when we have some beyong our normal income and I have a little bit put aside each month to use as I please. Most months I don't spend any of it, so when I do want to go a little crazy, it doesn't have an effect on our normal finances.
__________________ Libby~ Proud Fan Club Member My GalleryMy Blog My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
I think DH would need therapy if he knew how much money I spend on stamping supplies so keeping him in the dark is like an act of charity.
LOL! My husband would rather I not spend as much as I do, but he also realizes how happy I am after making a card. I just wish real life wouldn't get in the way sometimes...plane tickets across the country sure cut into the stamping fun! Although my husband has a good paying job, he despises being in debt, so we pay extra on our mortgage each month, pay the credit card bills in full each month (we only use them for the 'perks'), contribute to our IRAs, 401K monthly, add something to the kids' education fund, etc. etc. etc. That doesn't leave me very much to play with (especially when feeding a family of 6 as well), but it's enough. In reality, I could make a lot of cards without buying a single thing. I just don't have the willpower when it comes to beautiful papercrafting goodness!
I try not to spend a lot of money on stamping stuff. I've been using up what I have and then get stuff on sale at M's when I need it. We have a LSS that has good prices too.
We too keep separate checking accounts. He NEVER balances his checkbook to the penny the way I do and his journal entries are all wonky so he does his checkbook and I do mine. I keep the checkbook at work plus a checkbook for the hospital auxiliary I volunteer with and I balance each account to the penny - the way it's supposed to be
He only grumbles when the dining room table looks like a bomb went off since that's where I do all of my stamping. It's one of the first things you see when you walk in the house so I try to keep my stuff at the far end of the table and then keep the front of the table set nicely to try to fake people out.
He's just thankful that I don't spend lots of money on clothes, make-up, shoes and jewelry like his ex did:twisted:
__________________ Lorraine
Wife to an awesome DH, Mommy to an adorable DS who is on the spectrum for autism, and Twin Sister to Linda
I guess my hubby is the odd man out...not only does he not put his foot down, he often tells me to go ahead and get it if I'm debating about a purchase. He just wants a happy sweetie, and he knows that a fresh box of ribbon and paper can make my week!
My husband is very much like yours Meg. He would never tell me no and often encourages me to buy what I want. Some days I think he SHOULD tell me no though haha!
The only question my husband asks is 'Can we afford it?' which is a daft question as I have run the finances for the nearly 40 years we've been together and if we waited until we could 'afford' something until we bought it, we'd have no car, no house, no cd's, no technology....you're getting the picture...?
But we don't have debt, except for the mortgage which is now minimal and I clear my card at the end of every month from my allowance (we both have a small monthly allowance to which I keep but he doesn't) and my daughter gives me �200.00 per month for minding my baby granddaughter whilst she and her partner both work, but I spend most of that on the baby.
He doesn't drive so it's my car and we've always 'pooled' our joint income (or shpuld I say debts...? LOL!).
It's worked for us! LOL!
Hugs,
Ei
x
I think DH would need therapy if he knew how much money I spend on stamping supplies so keeping him in the dark is like an act of charity.
AMEN to that! For what it is worth both DH and I have fun money accounts that get a small increase with every paycheck. What I do with my "fun money" is my own dang business! Ditto to his. His fun money account usually runs dry more than mine.. so that's saying something!
ok...had to share my story. I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband has no hobby, is a minimalist, and wants to retire early (re: save, save, save - we are in our 40's with two very young kidlets). Oh, and not only does he not 'get' buying birthday cards, it is beyond him why anyone would 'make' one (well, except when our kids make them). He's a relatively good sport about it all tho'...even when I need his help with layouts. ;)
__________________ Susan
Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're probably right. - Zig Ziglar
LOL Everyone of you Ladies has a great story, outlook and great husbands It's interesting to note that many of your husbands are quite ok with it and often encourage it. I can see that I did Not marry an enabler - LOL You are very blessed!
I took him to see Home Depots small counter tops and cabinets, and it was a going to be a little more then I originally though :( He at first offered to make me shelves too, to save money, but when he saw that the counter tops were going to cost $130 for just my little space, he said no to everything. I agreed. It's too much money, and all because there's an angle or bend in the counter tops. I could get a straight piece, but it would be so short. So ever since Sunday, I've been deep cleaning and sorting my scraproom. And I am already feeling much better about it, even though I still want the tops and shelves!
Have you tried calling cabinet makers to see if they have any counter tops that were cut to the wrong size and they want to sell at a discount price, or try contacting contractors that are doing renovations and need to get rid of the old cabinets and counters. The price of new is just outrages and if you can find something that is used but in good shape for a good price it might make DH happy.
We have a place in the city called "Restore" it is a place where people take there old cabinets, counters, and other items that are good but they are renovating and don't want them anymore and don't want to throw them out either. I bought a cabinet a few years ago that was in good shape and only cost me $20, I used it in the bathroom as an extra storage area.
Oh LOL! That is Too Funny!! I wish He had some hobbies that would make me feel justified in what I spend. But since he likes to stay at home and relax (he's a hermit), all the spending I do, makes it feel more amplified
By the way, I grew up in Minnesota and lived there for 21 years before getting married and moving out to California. Do you know where Bemidji is? It's close to the Canadian border. I grew up there I miss Minnesota so very much!
How ironic is that...I moved from California and moved to Minnesota back when I met my husband who was at the MCRD in San Diego for school. I lived in Minnesota since that year for 12 years. Now, we live in Oklahoma. I miss California very much.
__________________ Bonnie~Proud Fan Club Member~Marine Wife My Gallery~One of Kota's Kids My Blog~Bonnie's Creative Corner Every Job is a Self-Portrait of the Person Who Did It. Autograph Your Work With Excellence.~Author Unknown
OP - anohter place to try is Craigslist. I have practically furnished my craft room from there for CHEAP. Freecycle is another good spot - ask for cabinets that are being removed.
__________________ Diana
*******
Save your drama for your llama.
Dh really doesn't put his foot down. I'm the one who does this..
I'm the one who pays all the bills in the house. We have a ours and mine checking account. Our meaning both of our money and Mine meaning I pay my bills with my money.
Dh has a lot of things he wants spend our money on. But he always ask how much can he spend.
I'm also the keeper of the Debit card. Cause if he had it...WE would have any money left!
That's EXACTLY what I do too...his bad habits are cigarettes!:(
__________________ Bonnie~Proud Fan Club Member~Marine Wife My Gallery~One of Kota's Kids My Blog~Bonnie's Creative Corner Every Job is a Self-Portrait of the Person Who Did It. Autograph Your Work With Excellence.~Author Unknown
I buy all my "stuff" with money from birthdays, Christmas, Mother's day..and some from what I earn. I put aside money each month for our taxes that come due at the end of the year and hubby of 31 years is happy!! Sometimes he even tells me, "if you want it, go get it" and I tell him the same too. Kids are grown so it is just the two of us now, much easier than when the kids were small and in school.
I feel very fortunate to have a very supportive partner who actually bought me the Big Shot a couple of months ago (all of his own suggestion) and helped me convert my own little crafting space. I must confess however, that I have got a bit stamping crazy of late and I'm running out of reasons why I MUST have another stamp..... lol
I've enjoyed reading the responses!
DH does "put his foot down" if we have other expenses. We talk about all of our purchases and we both work full time. Sneaking stuff in just makes him mad! He doesn't complain as much now that I've quit buying SU every month. Too expensive! Besides, he has dirt bikes, motorcycles, many guns, paint ball stuff, fishing, hunting and now he is in a weekly gun shooting club. (I encouraged him to do this as he is retiring soon.)
I told him I need to have a creative outlet. Crafting keeps me home and out of the bars and casino which is where his ex-wife can be found!
Last edited by SageBrush; 03-30-2010 at 11:41 AM..
Mine doesnt put his foot down, I make the most and I pay all our bills (im an accountant) and I dont have a car payment which is nice (alimony from last marriage). Its nice not to have to be watched over every little thing, that bugs me so much. But I support his hobby too, motorcycles, xbox, etc. I am however one that watches my money and pays off my credit cards, my job makes me who I am in that regard. I love this hobby even though it is so expense and I hardly send out many of my creations cause im a hoarder of them LOL.
My hubby knows if he put his foot down on something, it would get stomped on! On the rare occassions I mention a big purchase I want to make, he has always said okay. I'm the keeper of the finances so he's the one that has to ask about what he can buy. Sometimes I do have to say no, you don't need anymore guns or fishing poles right now. He knows the value of a happy wife so he knows better to complain about my spending on crafts or anything else, plus he knows I won't bankrupt us. He also goes shopping with me a lot of the times and knows how much money I spend on stamps and paper. He also thinks it is important for me to have the space I need to store and use all those craft supplies and recently told me to take over our bedroom with my stuff instead of having to share the guest room where guests may be tempted to touch my stuff. Luckily we have a large master bedroom! There are also no complaints when I forget to make dinner because I lost track of time playing with my paper and inks.
We went this weekend to buy me a new car, and instead, we will be picking up his brand new truck tonight so it's not like he's deprived of the things he wants. Now he will not say a word about the cost of the new nursery furniture we'll be ordering in a couple of weeks or any of the other baby gear I have picked out.
Dh and I worked out a real budget last year when we knew we'd be putting son number one through college. I have a monthly budget that covers food, clothing, kid's needs, gifts, and other essential stuff. If I want something crafty, it comes out of my budget. So if I'm spending on clothes or school items, that means I'm not spending on crafts, and vice versa. Last fall, I got a part time job to make the budget a little more flexible for us.
I've cut way back on my spending now that I'm not a demo anymore. I just don't feel the urgent need to buy the newest shiny thing. I've accumulated enough supplies to keep me going for a long time.
Also a big Dave Ramsey fan here. We don't rack up debt, and try hard to live within our means. When son number two starts college in 2011, we'll be paying for two college tuitions! Yikes! But I'd much rather pay for their education than the latest die cutting machine. For me, papercrafting is more fun when you're creative with the supplies you have on hand.
I'm a SU demo so I have my own checking, savings and credit card apart from the family one... I pay for our two children's Christian school tuition with my income, by the way, which I am very proud of!
There's a verse in the Bible in Proverbs 31 (listing characteristics of the ideal woman) that says "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her." I want to be the kind of partner that he can trust to make good decisions, to check myself when I'm getting a little crazy, and to plan ahead.
I'm not perfect and I do splurge sometimes, especially during Sale A Bration, LOL. The key is to have that be the exception rather than the rule!
__________________ Lyssa Griffin Zwolanek, Gold EliteSong of My Heart Stampers14-time incentive trip earner
Never and it would never occur to him that he should. We both work, I work 3 days and he is full time, all of our money is in the same account. We have been together since college, I had access to his money early on (before we were married) and never touched it, even when I was under-employed. He knows I am happy and that is what is important. He does golf but does not always need new stuff for that. My parents are generous with gifts, they bought me an expression for Christmas so that helps too. Also he uses a lot of my stuff for Cub Scouts (I just bought Design Studio so I can make something for Scouts). I also volunteer for craft nights at the Teen Center that he volunteers at. I know what I can afford and what I can't. We pay our credit cards in full every month, we do discuss big purchases, but that's it. I do 99% of the buying for the house, we have 3 boys so it gets expensive! This has worked for the almost 19 years we have been married and the 5 we dated before then.
__________________ Pia 2024 Scrapbook goals April 16/10 layouts YTD 91/120 Check out my gallery
My husband would never "put his foot down"?? Such a strange concept for me. I work. He works. We pay the bills and we spend responsibly. I can't even imagine being married to someone who says "No you can't buy that". Weird!
I buy what I want, but I wouldn't spend a cent on crafting supplies if we didn't have our emergency fund, retirement, college funds, and things like that on track. Those always come first.
My DH is more tolerant than supportive of my hobby. He doesn't really get it, and he hates the space that it takes. (I don't have a craft room right now.) He knows that it makes me happy, though, so he tries to be nice about it.
The one thing that drives him crazy is my Copic collection. He always says "why do you need 20 red pens?!?" They're all slightly different shades! He just shakes his head. hehe!
It is really interesting to read everyone's stories. I am getting married in January to my fiance of nearly 5 years. My fiance has been very supportive of me, but he doesn't like all the clutter. My scrap room is currently shared with the family computer and his music equipment so the space is kinda cramped right now. He doesn't mind the spending as long as I am actually using the stuff.
My dh never asks how much I spend on my supplies. he knows I love it and it makes me happy and that is all that counts to him. I can leave him sitting in the jeep to go in Michael's granted I usually only spend about 10 minutes in there because I hate to make anyone wait for me and I know what I'm after when I go in, but I could come out with 20 bags and he would not bat an eye or ask me how much I spent LOL, but I never come out with more than on bag. I was so good yesterday on a road trip that I only spent about $65 on supplies between Michael's and Walmart my biggest items were two border stamps by Martha, I just could not resist them anymore I needed to try one!
