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I'd like to offer a slightly different perspective on this issue.
First, I understand the desire for affirmation. We all want it. It's human nature, not easily dismissed.
That said, I am not dissed, diminished, or insulted if anyone walks right past my stamping and doesn't comment here or on my blog or on Facebook. You can favorite it or not, pin it or not. You may think it boring or uninspired. Most of the time, what I make is not distinctive. I make it because it makes me happy. I share it because I like being part of an online community. I can't rely on the internet for my affirmation.
I don't love everything I see on line and I don't expect the love back.
Please just don't say anything critical. That's not cool in my book, and I'm reading on occasion of bloggers getting mean comments.
If you blog or upload to the gallery here on SCS, I don't care if you provide details or tell me to go to your blog for the details. I just appreciate you took the time to share and am happy you like to stamp.
The overwhelming majority of us are just stamping for fun. We aren't going to make money doing this -- :twisted: -- to put it mildly. If we can make someone smile with a card, or feel a little love, then it's all good.
That's why SCS is such a great place.
__________________ Dear Paperlicious is my blog...with a series on how I'm learning to improve my cardmaking by studying others.
Thank you for this, Joan. I think that the online world in general has contributed to a false reality. It is easy to compare to others' work and lives and forget that what you see or read about them is only a tiny bit of what's really going on behind the website or blog or forum, and usually what gets presented is the best, happiest part of that.
I think that you nailed it when you said that the overwhelming majority are stamping for fun. I have a deep-seated need to express myself creatively on some kind of regular basis (although lately I'm suffering from no opportunity), and I'm sure others feel the same. What comes out in those sessions is a very personal thing, with varying levels of success and, therefore, varying levels of satisfaction.
Regarding the need for validation and/or suffering from negative comments (which, as you say, are completely uncalled for), I saw a magazine article once (didn't even read it) that has become something of a mantra for me. The title? "Your Opinion of Me is None of My Business". How great is THAT?! People will think what they want to think, regardless of reality, and I can't concern myself with that. I know what I'm about, and I'm okay with me - warts and all.
I've blogged in the past - a personal blog and a challenge blog - and may do it again. There were times where there were long stretches of silence and times where things were pretty hopping. I stopped blogging mainly because I didn't have time to do it properly, but I also stopped because somewhere along the line I let it feel like I had to compete on some level with other bloggers, rather than just maintaining an online journal FOR ME, which is why I started to begin with.
I suppose that with the "anonymity" hiding behind a keyboard provides, people feel more free to be mean or critical. They are still the minority, thankfully, but that element is still there. I wholeheartedly agree that it is wonderful if anyone makes anything ever and shares it freely. We should be as encouraging and uplifting as possible!
I know, for myself, I need to carve out a chunk of time to comment on at least a few of the uploads to the gallery here and the blogs that I visit from time to time. That's part of the "make someone smile...or feel a little love", too...
I just posted this link in another thread but for people that are looking for creative expression but don't have an event this may help - (I know there are technically only a few days left but I'm not the creative police etc.) ICAD FAQ - creative prompts - and if you do want to participate on the schedule it seems it can be marked down for next year!
From what I have observed with negative comments on anything made by a person, that the person with the negative comments is normally miserable in their life, no matter what.
I have a mild case of dyslexia and their are a few people who are always saying something negative about my spelling or if I use words out of context. And these people are close friends and family members who know of my problem. I know that I can't spell worth a darn, but why do they feel the need to tell me over and over again. But yet a couple of these do not have a high school education but yet I have a college degree and have a very good job as a paralegal, but they still have to put me down.
This is the main reason that I was very hesitate to post my cards on here or anywhere on the internet. But in the end I thought "why not, at least if my card is being critized then they are leaving another person alone for a little while"! LOL
I try to live by the saying "Treat people like you want to be treated."
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This is why I love you Joan :-) I stamp and post more for ME than anything else. Makes me happy just to share and honestly I like having a record of my stamping! And I just like seeing pretty pictures ;-)
From what I have observed with negative comments on anything made by a person, that the person with the negative comments is normally miserable in their life, no matter what.
I have a mild case of dyslexia and their are a few people who are always saying something negative about my spelling or if I use words out of context. And these people are close friends and family members who know of my problem. I know that I can't spell worth a darn, but why do they feel the need to tell me over and over again. But yet a couple of these do not have a high school education but yet I have a college degree and have a very good job as a paralegal, but they still have to put me down.
This is the main reason that I was very hesitate to post my cards on here or anywhere on the internet. But in the end I thought "why not, at least if my card is being critized then they are leaving another person alone for a little while"! LOL
I try to live by the saying "Treat people like you want to be treated."
I have been watching a YouTube channel of a young woman (we ALL are young women ;) ) who was criticized for saying "Yes" a lot . Well, considering she is doing a video tutorial in her 2nd or 3rd language to reach more viewers I can live with the "yes" - I thought it was very churlish of anyone to mention it. Goodness knows I wouldn't know where to start doing a tutorial in German! :shock: If anyone wants to give her a bit of stamping love here's her channel https://www.youtube.com/user/Kartenchaos
The world is full of keyboard warriors these days! Some people can't seem to open their mouths without negative comments coming out. I'm sure it makes them feel superior, I just wonder if they are so spiteful in reality, or if its their way of making up for being downtrodden in real life! Either way, they are not worth giving any attention to, I agree. I too go by Buddys'mamas comment, 'If they are having a go at me, they are leaving some other poor person alone.' Another old saying- those who can, do, those who can't, talk -or, in this case, criticise! I blog because I enjoy it, and have made some wonderful friends that way. I used to try and keep posting at least a couple of times a week, now I blog when I have something to blog about, if people like what I do fine, if not, fine also. Art is personal- we all have our likes and dislikes, and what works for one person, will not for another. I see a lot of beautiful cards on Pinterest, intricately made, with lots of die cuts, for instance. I can appreciate the work that went into it, and its beauty. However, its not my style, and I would not make that sort of card-but that does not diminish the artwork,talent or creativity of its maker.
I tend to think that the snide, snarky comments say far more about the writer than they will ever say about the recipient.
I think the thread about people posting about 'more info on my blog', then there isn't any, is probably a reflection of how we all feel we have so little personal time these days, and feel it wasted by what we may perceive as a method to up someones blog count? We all love a new technique, or new twist on an old one, maybe a stamp we 'must' have, lol, and get frustrated when what we wanted isn't there.
I rarely find a negative Nellie on SCS! Guess that's why I spend hours each day here!!! I've been encouraged, uplifted, friended and grown so much since I began my journey here!
Well said by all of you! I craft because I enjoy it, and those that receive something from me seem to enjoy it too!
I stopped blogging due to time constraints but also because I kept getting demands (they weren't requests) that I should post exactly what manufacturers I was using for my paper, embellishments and inks, I don't store my craft products this way, I personally don't care about who made what... I saw it, I liked it, I bought it...if I was able to remember I furnished the information to those that were looking for them but don't beat me up if I have the memory of a goldfish!
when I do share, its in the hope it makes someone smile, gives someone some inspiration or a new perspective on how to use a product....
I just posted this link in another thread but for people that are looking for creative expression but don't have an event this may help - (I know there are technically only a few days left but I'm not the creative police etc.) ICAD*FAQ - creative prompts - and if you do want to participate on the schedule it seems it can be marked down for next year!
I recently started participating in the ICAD challenge that you posted. I put my cards on my facebook page rather than here.
I used to keep up with my blog. I stopped after my husband died and I think I only posted once or twice afterward. I just don't have the desire to post on it anymore.
Anyway, back on topic! I haven't been making as many cards as I used to, mostly due to time constraints. And it sure has been a while since I uploaded any cards here! I like what I make and so do the recipients so I have achieved my goal.
I read on SCS most days a week, but have never posted a photo here. Maybe sometime I will. I love this thread and chatter about saying nice things. I love Joan B and your blog. I just subscribed because I loved what I read. I love how you are encouraging people by telling how you save money by not caving to the sale. Thanks for sharing.
I'm in total agreement with Joan B's sentiment. Before coming to SCS, I frequented another forum and had to stop because of the negativity. I really don't feel the need to live up to anyone's expectations or justify my choices when I do my crafts. Its a creative outlet for my "other" personality. However, I recently decided on a whim to give the other site another chance after not participating for over 3 years. After commenting on only 3 threads, I had another negative experience where someone offered their unsolicited critique (actually, it was an insult and quite rude) on one of my projects that I offered as an example of a technique I used. I was quite taken aback since I was only offering it as help on the technique and not on the "quality" of my work. I won't be going back to that site and appreciate SCS more. I haven't uploaded a photo of my projects for quite some time, but I don't do this for the recognition, and appreciate being "left alone" here too. Each of us has the choice to participate or not, whether it be by uploading our projects or commenting. I appreciate not being forced to do either and that people are more civilized here.
And again, I have to say "Thank You!" to Bugga for introducing me to SCS.
And to be clear -- I have no problem with someone wanting to boost viewership on a blog or enjoying positive feedback. I enjoy positive feedback too. But I just don't want to lose the friendly let's just all help each other out approach.
__________________ Dear Paperlicious is my blog...with a series on how I'm learning to improve my cardmaking by studying others.
I check my Inner Snark at the door when I come to SCS. No need for that here!
I admit to getting a little lift when someone comments on or favorites one of my cards, but it doesn't ruin my day if my cards get ignored. Life's too short for my happiness to depend on the kindness of internet strangers.
__________________ aka Sue. Or Sue-odd.
No blog for me. My gallery chronicles my card-making successes and mishaps.
Very nice post Joan. Thank you! I feel the same way. I pour my heart into my blog and never get a comment. But I do what I do because I love it and it makes ME happy. You've made me feel even more empowered tonight.
Joan great topic. I have been here for quite awile. I dont have time to do the challenges but I do take time to look at every single card posted each day and leave kind remarks on my favs. A couple months ago...maybe 4 now I got into some trouble for posting a mean remark in someones card. I was shocked when what was said was shared with me. I didnt do it, however, there was no way to prove it. I was beside myself wondering who did it. I had had a walk in card making class and left SCS open to help the ladies. Someone did a real disservice to me and hurt anothers feelings here in the process. People who know me, know I would never hurt someones feelings like that. I never got to apologize to the sweet lady because I dont know who it was.
Anyway, I agree that if you cant say something nice just dont comment.
Blessings.
Joan, I absolutely loved your comments, and those that have followed have hit close to home as well.
I don't blog, never have, yet enjoy reading others and leaving comments when inspired. Have never left a negative comment, only positive, since it's not necessary, and my opinion wasn't requested! I don't post my cards anywhere, (mainly because I'm not tech savvy enough), also because l create them for my artistic enjoyment and to give away to others. What they choose to do with it is up to them. My daughter keeps them for a day or two, then they hit the trash, yet it doesn't stop me from giving them to her!
I love seeing people's artwork/cards. Doesn't matter if it's my style or not, I can still appreciate the work that went into it, and seeing the techniques. Our hobby is so subjective and that's the pure beauty of it!!
Joan great topic. I have been here for quite awile. I dont have time to do the challenges but I do take time to look at every single card posted each day and leave kind remarks on my favs. A couple months ago...maybe 4 now I got into some trouble for posting a mean remark in someones card. I was shocked when what was said was shared with me. I didnt do it, however, there was no way to prove it. I was beside myself wondering who did it. I had had a walk in card making class and left SCS open to help the ladies. Someone did a real disservice to me and hurt anothers feelings here in the process. People who know me, know I would never hurt someones feelings like that. I never got to apologize to the sweet lady because I dont know who it was.
Anyway, I agree that if you cant say something nice just dont comment.
Blessings.
Oh wow Amber that is awful. Sorry you and the card maker had to go through that and I bet the person that did it never even gave it a second thought.
I would also add that if I can't say something nice or original I don't comment too. That's why I like the favorite button, it's my little thumbs up that I like what someone is doing. I don't tend to use it as a search function.
I can't comment here, but I did put *more info on my blog!*
LOL! That was just a joke, friends!
Joan, you said it so well. We do this because we love it. We're not getting paid for it! We share because we care, and we want to inspire the way others have inspired us.
Recently, I posted something mildly snarky (didn't check that one at the door that day! LOL!) on Facebook. I got a public scolding from the nasty women in the toxic neighborhood I have since moved away from. I couldn't figure out how to "unfriend" these women in a kind and gentle way. So I decided to "unfriend" myself by de-activating my FB account. I really do not miss it! Who has time for nastiness when kindness is so much easier?
From what I have observed with negative comments on anything made by a person, that the person with the negative comments is normally miserable in their life, no matter what.
I have a mild case of dyslexia and their are a few people who are always saying something negative about my spelling or if I use words out of context. And these people are close friends and family members who know of my problem. I know that I can't spell worth a darn, but why do they feel the need to tell me over and over again. But yet a couple of these do not have a high school education but yet I have a college degree and have a very good job as a paralegal, but they still have to put me down.
This is the main reason that I was very hesitate to post my cards on here or anywhere on the internet. But in the end I thought "why not, at least if my card is being critized then they are leaving another person alone for a little while"! LOL
I try to live by the saying "Treat people like you want to be treated."
Your post hit home with me. I am dyslexic too. That makes me very shy. It's enough to deal with the self appointed grammar police. I don't need the crafting police either. ;)
I am a researcher. Writing is my job. I am actually very good too. I use to edit romance novels. I have won writing awards from when I was younger for my short stories.
I don't need validation in my life. I get validation every day from puppy kisses. If I inspire somebody that is great. When I have shared things in the past I never worried about comments. I am going to be blunt. I feel if one is looking for compliments for their work then they are hindering themselves as an artist.
When I was a little girl I would show my Dad things I made. My Dad was my biggest fan. My Dad would say to me "Are you proud of it?" I got it at an early age if I was not proud of my work no compliments were going to improve it.
When I was a little girl I would show my Dad things I made. My Dad was my biggest fan. My Dad would say to me "Are you proud of it?" I got it at an early age if I was not proud of my work no compliments were going to improve it.
Joan great topic. I have been here for quite awile. I dont have time to do the challenges but I do take time to look at every single card posted each day and leave kind remarks on my favs. A couple months ago...maybe 4 now I got into some trouble for posting a mean remark in someones card. I was shocked when what was said was shared with me. I didnt do it, however, there was no way to prove it. I was beside myself wondering who did it. I had had a walk in card making class and left SCS open to help the ladies. Someone did a real disservice to me and hurt anothers feelings here in the process. People who know me, know I would never hurt someones feelings like that. I never got to apologize to the sweet lady because I dont know who it was.
Anyway, I agree that if you cant say something nice just dont comment.
Blessings.
Amber is one of the nicest, most genuine people that I have never met.
Sorry you had that experience!
__________________ Jennifer
Live each day with kindness, happiness, and a smile.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sprtchick
Joan great topic. I have been here for quite awile. I dont have time to do the challenges but I do take time to look at every single card posted each day and leave kind remarks on my favs. A couple months ago...maybe 4 now I got into some trouble for posting a mean remark in someones card. I was shocked when what was said was shared with me. I didnt do it, however, there was no way to prove it. I was beside myself wondering who did it. I had had a walk in card making class and left SCS open to help the ladies. Someone did a real disservice to me and hurt anothers feelings here in the process. People who know me, know I would never hurt someones feelings like that. I never got to apologize to the sweet lady because I dont know who it was.
Anyway, I agree that if you cant say something nice just dont comment.
Blessings.
Wow, that's just really crazy! And you are one of the nicest and most encouraging people on here!!!!!
It's Ok Not to Like my Stuff or comment on it
