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Oh, Denise ... my heart goes out to you! I've been in this boat before, too!
When I first started getting into rosary-making (which I still do, though mostly custom orders only since our baby came along), I spent um, $900 in the first month on tools, wire, beads, crucifixes, centers, etc. You should have seen my DH's face when the CC bill came! Luckily, your DH, he was very gracious about it. (I eventually did get to the point where I sold enough rosaries and bracelets to actually turn a slight profit.)
It's just SO easy to spend $20 here and $10 there and get nickel-and-dimed to death. I actually surrendered my CC to DH for a while, until I got a better handle on my spending.
My DH and I have an understanding. My hobby is stamping; his is collecting classic cars (he has three right now). He can never tell me I'm spending too much on my hobby!
Oh Denise,
You are in good company. I hope getting it all out and a good nights sleep helped you to feel better able to handle it. Most of us have been there! We just had our bank account go crazy with overdraft protection to cover the everyday expenses. It is such a heavy feeling, but it will pass. Here are big cyber HUGS for you!
Risa
Don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. Almost all of us have gone through the same thing at one time or another. I have to be careful of what I spend because we just don't have the money right now. I have a set amount that I spend each month and that includes everything.
One thing I do that might help with online spending, I created some folders in my Favorites (in Explorer not SCS). When I see a stamp I want I save the page on the store's website to my favorites folder titled "stamps I want". When I see something besides stamps I want I save it to my favorites folder titled "non stamps I want". When I have money to spend I go through them all and see which things I still really want and then decide what to buy. You wouldn't believe how many things I end up deleting and deciding I really didn't want it after all or I already had something similar or really didn't need the new tool as I had something else that would work. You have to learn to step back from the hype.
I also don't buy supplies ahead. I have a small container that I limit myself to for paper. When it is full I don't buy anymore until I have it at least 3/4 emply. Buying things because they are on sale ends up costing me more than waiting until I really need it. I don't end up buying so much stuff that I don't use.
Hang in there. I've found that it's so much more fun and less of a guilty pleasure to wait out the trends and look for a super bargain on something that I have wanted for a long time but wouldn't pay the high prices for.
Just remember you are not alone. I am so glad that you posted this as I felt I was the only one who over-did it with the spending on my papercraft hobbies. I am single, so I don't have the husband to worry about but, sometimes I'm not sure if I'll have enough to pay the credit card bills and yet I keep buying. It is embarassing and I don't have a plan to clean this mess up and I definitely need one. So, I'll be thinking of you as you turn your situation around. Thinks to you and everyone else who has been honest about their weaknesses on this thread.
I was going to post almost exactly the same thing. My goal is to NOT spend more than $40 a month from now on. (That's only $20 a paycheck.) I'm pretty sure I can do this as long as I stick to it. Ugh. It is so easy to buy things online with credit - and that just doesn't seem like spending REAL money. The good thing for ME is that there isn't anything out there that I have to have. Between SU, TAC and all the other single stamps I think I have every topic covered. I suppose the BEST thing to do is to quit coming to SCS. :shock: (And I am serious too.) I don't want to do that though. But having a plan and sticking to it should help.
My problem is that I find it so EASY to justify a purchase at the time of buying something (that I don't really need).
Kimberly
__________________ "There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness." -- Dave Barry
What helps me is my DH does ALL the bills and knows month to month how much I spend. I don't get any stuff on credit. If I can't pay cash I can't get it. My paypal is linked to our checking account too!!! Atleast you have realized you were out of control and are ready to make a change. You can do it!!! Lets face it ladies we ll have more stamp stuff then we will ever use in our lifetime.
Buying things because they are on sale ends up costing me more than waiting until I really need it. I don't end up buying so much stuff that I don't use.
I totally agree and quit buying ahead--with one exception: adhesive. I make tons of papercraft stuff and do stockpile adhesive. The tape runner I like is regularly 5.99 at HL, I go through them pretty quickly, and they only go on sale half-off a few times a year (HL adhesives are usually only on sale at 30%). So I do stock up on them.
Denise - I have read some of the posts here and in the new thread - congratulations on your decisions.
I just said I read some, not all the posts, so myh apologies if this has been discussed. I see that you are a member of RAK. I did not notice your name on the WishRAK list. THat is something to consider. Do you know how it works?
First of all, you should read (in the WishRAK sub forum) the start here thread. You send your name and a bit more information to Pink-fish. When you get a pm, and are on the new list, you are good to go. You start with 3 wishes (try for something you just have to have but are not going to buy). Sooner or later, some one will send you about 6-8 stamped images (sometimes more) of that. You can "earn" more wishes by sending something you have to another person. Sure, it costs postage, but I would imagine many times we just use a few images of a set - a first class postage stamp and a sheet or two of cs is cheaper than buying a set. Send me a pm if you are interested in more information. I have very limited space, and it is a great way for me to try new sets without using my storage space.
I had my "aha" moment after my first year of being a SU! demo... it was SICK how far in debt i got that fast.... but I changed then. I spend only what I earn from SU!, and then if I get a gift of money and I choose to spend it on SU!, that's what I do. NO MORE CREDIT CARD PURCHASES... it all comes directly from my separate checking account. I don't buy much anymore, but when I get down in the dumps about it, I just take a look around my stamping space and realize that I have more stuff than I'll ever be able to use. THEN I vowed to USE it, so I don't feel the need to buy too much stuff when I am constantly finding things I bought but forgot I had. It's amazing. I stop reading sales ads and I don't visit the sites that are most tempting.
I do splurge on In-Color stuff and an occassional designer paper, but the rest I try to make due with what i have and I've been AMAZED at how far that's taken me.
Just making those few adjustments has made my situation better, and now there's no guilt left in my stamping, unless i should be cleaning or paying bills while I'm creating instead... lol
I am glad you got all the distress out of your system, now moving forward you will be a changed woman, and you'll appreciate this craft more and more every day. ALSO, be thankful for that understanding husband of yours - mine still won't let me forget my mistake nearly 5 years later!
Thats good you are getting a hold on your spending. Dont beat yourself up to much, we all fall in those spending ruts. My DH always likes to say we spend most of our money at Target, since we have a 20 month old we are there all the time. I need to make lists and only go once a week. But I will get home and DH will say add so and so to the list lol.
*I dont buy the incolors, I just see no need to buy something that is limited. I have a vintage violet inkpad and I hardly ever use it since I dont have matching cardstock. I just stick with the regular colors.
I just want to say thank you to everyone esp. Denise who opened herself to her pain. When we are honest and share our pains, we not only free ourselves, but free others. I applaud you.
I am new to stamping and no doubt probably was on my way to being in debt (on top of the debt I already have) within a few months after all the goodies my eyes have feasted on in the past week. My little paycheck was already screaming for mercy. I just recently had to get tough with myself about my clothes shopping and I have done well. My mantra was: "I will not buy another piece of clothing until I have worn everything that is in my closet." I have fallen a few times when a "too good to pass up deal" presented itself, but for the most part, I am overcoming. I had to give away some of the stuff I brought because, "one day I would get into it." I was on my way down that path again, only with stamping. (Oh, how I am glad I decided to focus on reading and getting information to make better choices, and found this thread.)
There is a song that comes to my mind that helps me when I have my many moments of weakness: "We fall down, but we get up..." That's Life! We all make mistakes, we fall, but from every mistake, there is a life lesson to be learned. Thank God you, we, have learned your lesson and are on the straight and narrow, and helping alot of people in the process by sharing.
Have you ever considered by adhesive in bulk? I go through my CTMH consultant friend who buys 100 at a time (the tombow refills). That could be an idea to save too.
Linda
Angel #3916
Quote:
Originally Posted by LateBlossom
I totally agree and quit buying ahead--with one exception: adhesive. I make tons of papercraft stuff and do stockpile adhesive. The tape runner I like is regularly 5.99 at HL, I go through them pretty quickly, and they only go on sale half-off a few times a year (HL adhesives are usually only on sale at 30%). So I do stock up on them.
One thing I do that might help with online spending, I created some folders in my Favorites (in Explorer not SCS). When I see a stamp I want I save the page on the store's website to my favorites folder titled "stamps I want". When I see something besides stamps I want I save it to my favorites folder titled "non stamps I want". When I have money to spend I go through them all and see which things I still really want and then decide what to buy. You wouldn't believe how many things I end up deleting and deciding I really didn't want it after all or I already had something similar or really didn't need the new tool as I had something else that would work.
This is such a fabulous idea, also because it helps with that "instant gratification" factor... Sometimes, it just feels good to pick out those things we really want and "put" them somewhere. By creating a folder of those things, it gives the instant gratification without the delayed monetary pain. I have been doing this for a long time now, and it really, really does help!
I feel your pain. I posted a thread under the everyday chit chat about TRUE compulsive spending. I have decided to give myself a budget also, and I have enlisted the help of my mother, which I feel like such a loser doing, but I don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life. I too have not bought myself any clothes or anything because I spend it all on stamps and such. I just recently bought, all in the same day, a bind it all, cuttlebug and scorepal and accessories for the bug and bind it. EEEKKK And I haven't even used them. Haven't even opened the score pal. May have to get rid of it cuz I honestly don't see myself using it. My boy frien said I need to get on a stamping/scrapping budget becuz we have 2 kids and need a new car so it has to be done. He says we aren't POOR, we are PO, we can't ven afford the OR at the end!! LOL It's sad....Good Luck
Oh I forgot my budgeted amount is $50 a month I think that is reasonable. I justify it by telling myself that it is one color client a month (I do hair part time and work full time at school). Hopefully it will work
I would take back the Score Pal if you don't think you'll use it, and anything else you may have purchased. Like what your SO says about being PO, we can't even afford the OR at the end. Tee hee. Thanks for sharing.
I have spent a lot buying tools in the last two months and I have been feeling guilty even though I work and have been paying for them out of my own money. I have spent more this year than I have in all of my many years of stamping. I think that this site and others like it are like a two edged sword. They feed our need for advancing our creativity, but they also expose us to new products and as for me, I think I gotta have it. Well, I know I don't have to have it, but boy oh boy, do I want it!
I don't want to stop visiting SCS because I enjoy the cyber companionship and learning new things. Take heart, Denise, the first step to solving a problem is identifying it, now that you've done that, you move forward with a plan. Our lives are a process. No one achieves perfection and stays there. We strive, surge ahead, then fall back and struggle forward again. You are making a positive change and you don't have to give up what you have! They're not gonna foreclose on your stamps! Things could be waaaaay worse! We're all thinking good thoughts for you and admire your strength- you go girl!
I totally understand! I've had to put myself on a cash only basis - it's harder to spend the cash! lol
I had to actually distance myself from this beloved site (GASP!) because I always wanted to buy whatever the 'IN' thing was! I took a break and it helped break my shopping habit.
I feel safe to return but just dipping my toes in the deep end on SCS!
Art is intended to provoke an emotion from a total stranger. If you�ve succeeded in this, consider yourself an artist. Paper Shanks Blog. Love me or hate me, you are still talking about me
Whenever I go on a bender and become a super-spender, I try to offset it by selling some older stamps or stamps I no longer use on eBay. With very little effort the $ comes in and the justification is much easier.
I love the internet and all the wonderful online groups, blogs, etc. but it is also a huge temptation to buy what we see there. I live on an Island and to get to the nearest rubber stamp is 30 minutes. Without the internet (ATRS, etc) my purchases would be much less due to the fact it takes an hour to reach a large enough city to find decent stamps and supplies!
Most of us have been in your shoes at some point, to varying degrees. Kudos for 'coming out' and to your DH for being so understanding! Men hate to see us sad ... just don't let him cheer you up with any new stamps!
Thanks for making us all stop and think a bit about this ...
I don't think there is one member of SCS who can honestly say she doesn't have at least one item she "had to have" but has never used! We're all in the same boat. Hang in there ...
One thing I do that seems to work is "sleep on it". Before I place an order, be it with SU or online or go shopping, I wait a day or two. Often the order will be decreased, changed, or not placed altogether! It's amazing what a little distance can do.
Location: with my nose in a book in the KAY-WHY!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beccabatgirl
I too have a separate account for stamping purchases (I'm a demo). When it's empty, then I can't buy any more. I am getting more ruthless with parting from retired sets to replenish that fund! I also just got a part-time job, and that money is going toward convention first. The only problem with a job is that I have less time to stamp!
is the separate acct thing working for you? I'm a demo too and i'm thinking about getting a sep. acct for mine. do you just spend what you make? or do you add a little when you can? ;) I might try that myself...
__________________ .: Leslie aka scrappychick427:. .: www.inkypinkystudios.com
Proud wife, stepmom, dogmom, nurse(for the time being!), education student, wanna-be photographer, scrapbooker, & Stampin' Up Demo! (whew!)
One thing I do that seems to work is "sleep on it". Before I place an order, be it with SU or online or go shopping, I wait a day or two. Often the order will be decreased, changed, or not placed altogether! It's amazing what a little distance can do.
I like to keep a wishlist on a site like Amazon.com or ThingsIWant.com. Often, I'll file something away there that I want to get but can't afford right away. Half the time, when I go back to look at my list, I find I've lost interest in that "must-have" item.
__________________ ~ Alexis, mom to Matthew (born April 7) and the Furry Horde
I'm with you girlfriend. I'm in the same boat. Isn't it funny and sad how we all get so caught up in the "I gotta have" mentality that what originally brought us such joy now brings us such sadness. We spend more time shopping than stamping, and then we find ourselves in such regret. I'm going to spend less in the coming year, that's for sure. I know I will need lots of the Lords help though. It's not going to easy breaking the habit. So, know you're not alone.
I totally understand how you feel, it is so hard with this hobby and all the exciting things that keep coming out, you just feel like you gotta have it.
I have decided that I am through buying from the LSS, the Michaels, the Hobby Lobbys...I need to stick to my SU demo stuff and nothing more. I have everything I could ever possibly need for probably 3 years of scrapbooking and stamping!!
It is good to recognize it as an addiction, because it truly can become one. Keeping it in check with a partner who supports you is so vital. I am so glad your DH is understanding! Keep your chin up and press on with good healthy goals!! Good luck!
is the separate acct thing working for you? I'm a demo too and i'm thinking about getting a sep. acct for mine. do you just spend what you make? or do you add a little when you can? ;) I might try that myself...
I feel for you and what a wonderful gift to have an understanding husband! This could be the wake up call for you to turn stamping back into a pleasurable and enjoyable hobby.
I keep a separate checking account for my stamp spending. We have everything budgeted in our home into different categories. I admit, I go over budget during Christmas on stuff for the kids and lately I have purchased too much stamping stuff for myself, but to have a separate account specifically for stamping really helps a lot. If I get money for a birthday or some other special occasion it goes in there. I just made my mom's Christmas cards and she paid me for the supplies and a little extra, it gets tossed into that account. And that is the account I use to buy things. That really helps me limit my spending.
Best wishes to you as you work out a budget and regulate your spending.
Have you ever considered by adhesive in bulk? I go through my CTMH consultant friend who buys 100 at a time (the tombow refills). That could be an idea to save too.
Linda
Angel #3916
I'm buying the red ones, not the tombow. The red ones (can't remember the name!) stick better for me, esp. with textured cs which I prefer in my scrapbooks. I've never seen those in bulk, but if anyone knows about them, I'd sure appreciate a link!
Another thought on this, with regards to the SU In Color sets which people seem to desperately want/need and don't end up using. I am currently debating that very issue. Initially had a list of all the cardstocks, ink pads and refills. However, after rethinking the purchase in light of this thread -- i realized I could purchase the multi-pack of the cardstock and use my Versamark pad, which will work on the pieces of cardstock as if I had the inks. The other possibility is to see if there is a list of the RGB/CMYK color combinations for these InColor hues, like there is for the SU 48 colors. Then I could at least print text in those colors ... a workable alternative, I think. And it saves me well over $60.
Seems to me we need to start a Stampoholic Anonymous thread and meet weekly. We can assign a partner and every time we get the urge to by something on a whim, we contact our partner... what do you think......lol linda
Yes, I am a stampoholic!
__________________ The avatar is my grandmother and her sisters in 1910. Hope you will visit my gallery!
I have taken a look at this thread and realize, sadly, I am right there with you. The past few weeks I have been tearing apart my craft room getting ready for a rummage at our LSS. We take in our stuff, someone (hopefully) buys it, and we get store credit. As my husband watched the pile in the hall grow, then helped to load the car yesterday, he sighed, shook his head, and muttered something about addiction, wasted money, and our debt-load. I realized how right he is. I have really thought about what is important to me and have decided to change my spending ways. So, what I really wanted to say is, don't be embarressed or ashamed, we have all been there or are there right now. Let's just start the new day with the understanding that we need to watch what we spend. We are women. Is there anything we can't do when we put our minds to it?!?!?!
Seems to me we need to start a Stampoholic Anonymous thread and meet weekly. We can assign a partner and every time we get the urge to by something on a whim, we contact our partner... what do you think......lol linda
Yes, I am a stampaholic!
Really a great idea!!!! I once googled addicted to stamps - and where did it send me too - but Addicted to Rubber Stamps. ;)
Yes, I think we should start some sort of an accountabilty thread or something for those of us that need it... and that is me!!!
