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A couple weeks ago, my 4 year old son was invited to a birthday party of one of his fellow playmates at his preschool. I immediately started creating and making this child's birthday card. It was so cute! Now, don't get me wrong, I know I shouldn't have done this but we make cards, right?
So today was the birthday party. The child needs help opening the envelope and the parents were not helping so i opened the envelope for him to get the card out himself. He gets the card out and proceeds to take off all of the animals (from Verve's To the Moon stamp set) and the baker's twine also. I am so devastated now, all that work and time! And the parents didn't even see the card (well, mom videotaped it's destruction), or get to keep it as it was given.
Nope. No picture of the card. But it is easy to recreate, just a little time consuming.
Oh, I so wanted to snatch that card away from the kid, but... he's 4, I'm 39, I should have just known better. Next time, I think it will just be a store bought card.
If it makes you feel any better, I made a cute Hello Kitty card for my niece once. Not very time consuming, but it still turned out cute I thought. I had also given my niece some Hello Kitty stamps the day before. After she opened her presents, she picked up one of her stamps and, with my sister in law sitting next to her, began stamping on the card! Not only did my ding dong sister in law not try to stop her, SHE HELPED HER! I learned my lesson, single layer simple stamped cards for them from now on!
I probably have a little different take on this, but I do understand how you feel. One of my rules about cardmaking is take a pic or scan the card before it goes anywhere, if it's a card I'm pleased with.
My next rule is that once it is in the hands of the recipient, even a four year old recipient, lol - it is theirs to do with as they want. I have found through sad experience, that this may include chewing on it, ripping all the embellishments off, or maybe dipping it in their cake and ice cream!
My youngest dd has 6 kids from age 11 down to 3 who have taught me this. I do tend to make more simple cards for kids, more for safety reasons than time or materials used. Little ones can quick as a wink remove something like a button and pop it in their mouth.
For kid cards I tend to use stickers of whatever they like, matted on die cuts and maybe their name in alphabet stickers. Usually they have fun trying to peel them all off the cards.
But again, I do understand your pain in watching the destruction.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
Sometimes I think we make the cards to impress the parents rather than the kids, so we get upset when the parents don't make a big deal out of it. It still hurts though. I haven't learned yet either.
Karen
It hurts when people don't at least positively acknowledge the time and care that goes into a handmade card; but to have to watch it be destroyed ( even by a preschooler ) would be more painful I imagine!
Like others said, I would not spend much time making a card for someone so small, they really just won't "get it", and are more likely to just tear it apart. I used to make very simple one layer cards for my sons friends when he was that age, along about the time he turned 7 or 8, I let him pretty much make the cards himself. I handled the cutting, and "supervised" so he didn't accidentally ruin an ink pad or something but other than that it was his time and effort, not mine. His friends seem to really admire the "handmade" cards, they at least seem to feel a little special that someone took the time to do it by hand. Wish more adults would hang onto that idea...:-)
I'm sorry that happened. I know it can be pretty frustrating after you spend all that time and effort creating a nice card for it to go un-noticed, let alone destroyed!
I made a heavily embellished triangle treat box for one birthday party. The mom did see it but didn't say a word about it and tossed it into a bag with the rest of the 'scraps' from birthday cards and wrappings. Very frustrating indeed!
The child is just 4 years old, that's all they know how to do.......take things apart.
I would have made the animals removable so the child could take them off to play with them.
Since I create cards, I would never give someone a card no matter how young or old that I didn't make.
As has been said before......we create the card, what the receiver does with it we can't control. We do have the pleasure of knowing we did create it though and not store bought.
I think we all have to remember also, it is a card and not the present.
I'm a preschool teacher, well that is I will be a preschool teacher in 16 days. (yea!)
Anyway I'm guessing that he is a tactile learner and that he was learning and experiencing the card and that it was meaningful for him. He appreciated it at his level in his way.
So, good for you! You gave him something he enjoyed.
I do understand and that would bug me, but I do hope you can take a teeny bit of comfort knowing that he did appreciate your card.
My philosophy for ANY child under the age of 10 is a 50 cent store bought card --- they really just want the present (or $$ in the card). My younger nieces and nephews are just now starting to get hand made cards (and they really do appreciate them)!
Your card must have been special to hold a young child's attention for that long. Usually they just toss them aside without even looking at them!
Well said.
I try to avoid fancy cards for the really young children, but I always keep in mind that a card is a gift and the recipient may do with it whatever he or she pleases. If that means keeping it in a box forever, trashing it, donating it, reusing it, or destroying it, it's not my concern.
__________________ aka Sue. Or Sue-odd.
No blog for me. My gallery chronicles my card-making successes and mishaps.
It only takes ONE little child taking apart one of our handmade cards to teach us cardmakers that handmade cards are for adults only.
There should be a warning on every stamp set.
__________________ The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Practice safe eating always use condiments
When my kids were young and going to bday parties, I just made to/from tags. That way, you can do a whole bunch, have them ready ahead of time & just go. The kids don'ot care about the card anyway! Sadly, a lot of adults don't even "get" our hobby but that is their loss imo!
First I think it was great that you got so into making him a special card.
I think it is difficult when a child/adult don't "get it" however, you have to hold on to how much fun and creativity you experienced creating your card. Take photos of your creations they are what you get to keep (and even share with many others! in gallery/blog).
Some people aren't into anything handmade. It isn't on their radar as special or time consuming or artistic. Create for yourself.
Personally I make all my cards I send out. I just can't have this quite honestly expensive hobby without sharing it. I have spent hours on cards to have them "under appreciated" and I just remind myself that I enjoyed making the card and that was a gift to myself AND the receipient.
I don't "edit" just in case my feelings might be hurt either.
For example, when we were married my husband's cousin gave us a handcrafted ceramic vase. I liked it enough but my husband absolutely loathed it. I tried to get him to come around but in the end it wasn't worth it. So I took it to a charity sale and we got the pleasure of donating a unique item AND the charity benefitted as well from a nicely priced sale. I learnt a lot from that. My taste isn't the same as everyone else and thus we all appreciate things differently.
FWIW most fine artists were poor/destitute during their lifetimes. Imagine if they had quit because their contemporaries rejected their artwork.
The big thing to decide if you want others to dictate your craft or your craft to be your expression despite the reaction/thoughts of others.
AND yeah, this is from the person that just spent at least 32 hours creating baby shower decorations for my first cousin "hoping" she would like them - as it worked out she did but part of "my gift" was giving that time to make her day special.
I guess I'm a little bit different. I understand that people cannot save every card I make. I expect that sooner or later it will be tossed. But in the meantime, I was able to enjoy the craft, pray for the recipient and know that they would enjoy it, even if only for a moment.
I think the idea about the tags is a great idea. I make them more often now that I use gift bags more frequently. It is hard to let go of something we made, isn't it? You really have to enjoy the process or it just isn't worth it.
I have 3 girls and because I make cards they like homemade cards. They even like to make cards for their friends birthdays or the teacher on the last day of preschool. That said lots of our cards get tossed aside and it is hard to watch my girls see their creation underappreciated. But they keep making them so it must be worth it. Usually we give a gift of crafting supplies so maybe next year the cards received will be homemade.
yes this sucks, and i have had this happen to me so I feel your pain. ditto what most everything everyone said. If I give a card to someone who really does note appreciate it, I make a mental note to buy their next card at the 99 cent store and save my time. That's really all we can do.
I just wandered onto this thread and it ended up being a topic that morphed into something I've been pondering for the last few days. As I've recently gotten back into papercrafting, I'm finding that I'm very selective as to who I send my "special" cards to. And, even then I "worry" about whether they will just toss them or really enjoy them for a bit. I find myself so possessive about all my "stuff"...paper, embellishments, etc. I will not deny that I have been so obsessed about this worry that I've toyed with the idea of having a custom stamp made that says, "If you are going to toss this card out, please mail it back to me instead" and stamp it on the back of the card AND the envelope! [LOL] I have to remind myself that once you give a card/gift, it becomes the recipients' to do with as they please. If I learn that they don't appreciate a "uniquely designed card," I do as other posters have said, I buy a card at the Dollar Store next time.
My neice used the images as "tattoos" once when she was that age..stuck them all over her cheeks and arms...also cute animals..It was funny as she thought like a 4 year old. I have more of an issue with adults who are rude when you give them a card..Had one lady look at me and say "I see you didn't want to go to the store and buy a card", like I was cheap (this was at work...) I found that worse. Just consider the kids age and not think about it. It was a nice gesture you did.
My neice used the images as "tattoos" once when she was that age..stuck them all over her cheeks and arms...also cute animals..It was funny as she thought like a 4 year old. I have more of an issue with adults who are rude when you give them a card..Had one lady look at me and say "I see you didn't want to go to the store and buy a card", like I was cheap (this was at work...) I found that worse. Just consider the kids age and not think about it. It was a nice gesture you did.
Next time someone says that, tell them they are right, you went to several stores to find just the right (stamp, paper, adhesive etc) to make the card special just for them and you will make note that they don't want you to spend all that time just on them anymore.
I have a 7 year old. The only cards I make for his friends are 3 by 3 inch, very easy-peasy cards. I gave up doing "nice" cards for the little ones. Now their moms--they get nice cards, but not the kiddos! Too much work for it to be tossed aside or torn apart.
I read here - several years ago - about someone who had spent hours making beautiful cards for a graduation/wedding/whatever - guess I don't really remember what it was. But the cards were stunning. She was really upset when she saw her card in the neighbor's trashcan about a month later.
Well, not everyone can save every treasure forever, right? I make every card with the understanding that it will end up in the trash. I know that many of my cards are loved and saved. . . and appreciated. But I don't count on them lasting forever.
I guess I have a completely take on the issue. First I make all of the cards I send/give to people for all occassions. I can't see spending money when I already have the supplies to make a card. Once I give the card it belongs to the recipient to do with as they please. It's no longer mine and I hope that they will appreciate the time and effort I put into it, they aren't required to. I know that some save my cards and others look, set them aside and I'm sure eventually toss them. By the same token, I have several family and friends to send me handstamped cards for my birthday or for Christmas and I don't hold onto them beyond the holidays either.
I guess I have a completely take on the issue. First I make all of the cards I send/give to people for all occassions. I can't see spending money when I already have the supplies to make a card. Once I give the card it belongs to the recipient to do with as they please. It's no longer mine and I hope that they will appreciate the time and effort I put into it, they aren't required to. I know that some save my cards and others look, set them aside and I'm sure eventually toss them. By the same token, I have several family and friends to send me handstamped cards for my birthday or for Christmas and I don't hold onto them beyond the holidays either.
I am like this. I don't keep every card forever myself, so I don't expect anybody else to either. But I would never recycle a card right in front of the person who gave it to me, that's for sure.
I know it can be hurtful to see your work unappreciated or destroyed...but try being a grown-up stamper giving a Valentine card to a 4yo, only to be told, "It's nice, but it needs ribbon." By the 4yo. Who proceeded to the ribbon stash to select the right ribbon.
Five years later, she has a fabulous stamping desk, access to plenty of ribbon, and some really cute stamps that she generously shares. Plus, she's teaching me how to use My Digital Studio when she has time....sigh...I try to keep up...
__________________ ValliWhen I'm not near the stamp I love, I love the stamp I'm near.My tiny little gallery
I know it can be hurtful to see your work unappreciated or destroyed...but try being a grown-up stamper giving a Valentine card to a 4yo, only to be told, "It's nice, but it needs ribbon." By the 4yo. Who proceeded to the ribbon stash to select the right ribbon.
Five years later, she has a fabulous stamping desk, access to plenty of ribbon, and some really cute stamps that she generously shares. Plus, she's teaching me how to use My Digital Studio when she has time....sigh...I try to keep up...
I read here - several years ago - about someone who had spent hours making beautiful cards for a graduation/wedding/whatever - guess I don't really remember what it was. But the cards were stunning. She was really upset when she saw her card in the neighbor's trashcan about a month later.
:shock: OMG I would have been so mad! That's heresy I say!
Here's what I stamp on the back of cards I give away:Hopefully they see this and "get it"
I can't believe it!
