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I went to sit down at my "stamping" table, and I noticed a stamp set out, and a couple of ink pads on the table that were not there the last time I was there. I'm smiling to myself because I know that my 11 yr old DS probably was the culprit, and he was probably making a mother's day "something". BUT, I'm also faced with the knowledge that he used my stuff without my permission, after being told quite a few times that my stamping stuff was off-limits. How do you think I should handle this?
Maybe your Dh allowed him to?
I would wait and see what had happened and maybe go over it AFTER the card is given (way after) Just bring it up gently. ;)
__________________ I want people to be afraid of how much they love me-M. Scott
Maybe your Dh allowed him to?
I would wait and see what had happened and maybe go over it AFTER the card is given (way after) Just bring it up gently. ;)
What she said. Don't spoil his surprise!
__________________
"Lord,if you cain't forgive me all my sins,just don't remember them too good,no." "Thank you,Amen"
I wouldn't dare spoil his surprise! I'm smiling more than upset, and Yes, my DH knew my son was doing it, although I'm sure that he did not give his permission. Half of me doesn't want to say anything at all!
I'm the odd ball out I guess. First I would ask hubby if he said she could take it out, if he didn't. I would address it now. I would simply ask why the stuff was out and who did it, and tell them to ask next time. Avoid the reason behind her going what she did... tell her it doesn't matter why she did it- it was still wrong and she shouldn't have.
I would smile way big inside and be flooded with love inside. This is way too sweet and loving. Ya the rules were broken but it was done with love and a desire to surprise and please you My kids are away at college and wont be coming home this w/e--Take it from me--cherish these daring (& darling) little acts to please you. Your stamping supplies are "only stuff" (did I really say that?) Look beyond that and imagine the cunning little smiles and excitement as that Mothers Day card was made all because you are so loved. Cherish that treasure. Can you tell I have major empty nest syndrome.
Seriously--I would not utter a word about my stuff being out of place. It will ruin the surprise and the loving intention behind it.
I'm a pushover mom, I wouldn't say a thing. Its your mothers day card, and he didn't ask you because that would obviously ruin the surprise. Just give him a big kiss when you get your card.
__________________ Melissa
"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort" - Franklin D. Roosevelt
My husband surprised me with a card made with my stamps. He went through all my stamps, found the letters I, U and a heart. Made a white card that said I Love you. It was the sweetest thing even when I found that he had been practicing/playing with the stamps on not put together card swaps. All were ruined of course and I couldn't say anything because it was made w/love. Like another poster had said CHerish IT!;)
If you have an 11 year old son who knows how much your stamping means to you, and he took that knowledge and the time to make you a card, you are a very lucky Mom. There are plenty of Moms who won't even have a Happy Mothers Day muttered tomorrow so cherish this gift from your young son. BTW, my daughter also is away but gave me the sweetest card last week end.
Take it from a mom who somehow lands up squelching their kids often, Don't say anything, let it slide. This is not really a battle to pick. Your son made something for you from his heart and altho using your stamps he knows your love of stamping. He tuned into what you like and went with it.
Don't say a thing - at least you know you have raised a child with a caring & thoughtful heart and be proud. I'm sure that he will give you many other opportunities to talk about going into "mom's stuff" without permission. He's 11 now and before you know it he'll be 18 - so just enjoy those sweet moments now.
Cherish that treasure.
Seriously--I would not utter a word about my stuff being out of place. It will ruin the surprise and the loving intention behind it.
ABSOLUTELY! My kids are growing up so very fast it makes my head spin! I remember getting so mad when my DD was 5 a brilliant blue mark right in the middle of my new yo-yo yellow (old syle pad). I scolded her and told her not to bother mommy's stampin stuff. Now she's 12 (as of last week) and starting to look like a teenager. The mark is still there, the pad works just fine and I use it constantly (just now had to buy a reinker). The sad part is she doesn't want to stamp any more despite my urging and coming up with cool projects. I really wish I had kept my mouth shut!
If this were something where your stuff was left open and messed up on a regular basis as in ,"yea, here's stuff to get into" then maybe you could issue a gentle reminder that this stuff is Mom's and shouldn't be played with. It doesn't sound like that is the case. It sounds like this was done with love for you. What would be better to give Mom, who loves stamps, a stamped card? How amazingly sweet that he thought of what would please you. I would so encourage you to keep quiet as a mouse, be grateful for the effort and love him to death while you can!!!!
Like the post said above, it's only just stuff (ok, so it's really cool stuff). So many things in life are more important! I hope we never loose sight of that!
I'm On the "let is slide" side. How sweet is that for your 11 year old to do that for you. He is so close to being a teenager that in a few years it will probably be uncool to make your mom cards. My heart is just warm and fuzzy for you. If you feel you have to say something. When he gives you the card, after the crying and hugging (that would be me here) you can always jokingly say "Ok, you got away with it this time, or we will suspend the rules the day before mothers day every year" Hope you and yours have a wonderful Mothers Day.
Angie
__________________ Up against the wall and Stamp Em!
I love what Angie just said. I too have a tendancy to squash my kids. Please don't pick this battle. "You got away with it this time, but no more!" is a great response!
After today if it was him that made you a card, and got your stuff out. I would have a stamping session with him later, without saying anything about him using your stuff previously, and show him how to clean stamps, put things away, etc.
My 12 year old always leaves a mess behind. He now has 4 stamp sets of her own. And after practice the mess is getting less and less. NOW if her room could be as neat as the stamping mess she makes I would be in heaven.
__________________ Proud Air Force Wife Andi Wrenn
I wouldn't say anything about this incident!!! Having boys who are all grown up now. I can look back and say that the cost a new pad or stamp if it got ruined is nothing compared to the value of your ds taking the time to make his mom a card. It's obvious that he knows that you value homemade treasures and that he wanted to please you. Thank God that you have a son who notices what you like. If you have a hard set rule about your stuff then I wouldn't say anything unless he does it another time. And then be gentle. You dont want to kill his creativity or his love.
__________________ chercher My Faith will Not be greatly shaken.
Cancer can not define me!
I think it is sweet and I wouldn't reprimand him especially if he didn't destroy anything. I do think 11 years old is old enough to stamp and if you show him the right way later and ask him to tell you if he wants to make something all should go well.
I would definitely let it slide... AND I'd invite him to stamp with me next time I had my stuff out and he was around. I would show him how you care for your things.
I did alot w/my own son. Now, he's 24 and he's always asking me advice on how to cook this or that or the best chef's knife to purchase..(he loves to cook). You never know what they take an interest in as they grow up.He will pick up your passion if you can share with him.
My son and his girlfriend (and dog) are coming over to cook me a beautiful Mother's Day dinner this afternoon. I can't wait!!
I'm another let it slide person. The love that went into the card is far more important than a few stained stamps IMHO. My five year old loves to stamp and with my supervision he is really good.
If it were me, I would definitely let it slide. I would have to cherrish anything my kids did for me on Mother's Day. Even though your son was breaking the rules, he wasn't doing it to be deceitful. He was doing something special for you because he loves you, and you know he has to be proud of what he did. I couldn't take that away from him. Someone said it earlier that there are those that will go the whole day and not get so much as a "Happy Mother's Day". That was me last year.
Last edited by jbradley11; 05-10-2005 at 06:49 AM..
I am VERY big on rules and everyone following them. You might say I am "uptight" about it.. my family says that.
I would not say a word to your sweet 11 year old... ever. What a special tribute this child planned for you! You have taught him well the importance of putting the other person's likes at the top of the list, about the trasure of a hand made gift and about the bond between mother and child. Well done!
Now what was that other lesson that went astray...?... oh yeah, touching Mom's stamp supplies without asking. Trust me, you will have other chances to restate this rule and to give lessons on following rules. Let this one go. At 11 years old you have already imprinted the importance of consistancy. Jus think how important this card must have been... how important YOU must have been.. for your child to risk so much to get this done.
Someone else mentioned picking your battles. I agree. Let this one go by without a single shot. Maybe it is time to switch gears and start teaching that budding artist how to use your stamping tool responsibly. Select a few tools that are safe to share and leave others on a "ask only" basis. Before you know it your child will be grown and out of the house and you will have missed a great, fun, sharing experience.
Thanks for all of the advice! I loved hearing your stories. As an update, My son had printed all of the things he was thankful for on the inside of a piece of cardstock, and had stamped the front with a butterfly in "only orange", and "a little note of thanks" (both from the wonderful wings set) in "bliss blue". It was just precious, and I have to admit that tears misted my eyes. He also made coupons for free car washes on a piece of printer paper, and used my fiskars cutter to "perforate" the coupons. It was just too cute!
I've definitely had a great start to Mother's Day!
I'm with the let it slide group! Your son is so much more important than your 'stuff.' I often have to remind myself of this with 4 little ones around. Too often, I say something before I think it through, and then they pull out some heartfelt creation, and I realize how much they love me and really only do things out of that love.
great result!
I was on the 'let it slide' side
another take though for anyone in the same situation
praise the "good skills and good respect" ds or dd showed for your stuff and it's better than any "talking to"...
SAHM of 2-y-o ds whose first words included 'samp, samp! mama !'
happy mom's day for 30 more minutes and all year long!
I would definitely not say anything to your son. That was very sweet that he took the initiative to make you a "quality" card. Has he made other cards together with you? My 8 year old is getting almost as good as I am! (Not saying much!)
Now... if it was YOUR mother, I know what she would say ...... <smile> She would say you are relaxing too much on your rules ......Because I know your mother .......
is my Aunt .....
Surprise! This is your cousin, Margaret. What a coincidence I saw your name!!!!!!! Small world. I just began cruising this site again. Of course,finally getting Stamping inspiration, just before I leave all my stuff to come to the states for the summer. I'll email you .....
I wouldn't dare spoil his surprise! I'm smiling more than upset, and Yes, my DH knew my son was doing it, although I'm sure that he did not give his permission. Half of me doesn't want to say anything at all!
If your DH "knew" he was doing it, that is "silent permission". If he wasn't corrected and he knew Dad knew, then your DS know he has permission, so it's ok.
Don't be upset, your Son is more important than anything in the whole world.
How Would You Handle This?
