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Have you ever sent a card to someone you don't like?
I'm trying to decide what to do. This is not a *big* decision, but I want to do the right thing. My ex-husband's wife was in the hospital last week -- learned this on Friday. I don't know any details -- we don't communicate. Neither of these people (my ex and his wife) are nice or even civil to me or my girls. So it's not even like we're on speaking terms.
Something keeps telling me to send her a get well card. But then I think why should I -- they'll just turn my good intention around and use it against me.
I Peter 3:8-9, 14
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing..... But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.
Even if she turns it against you, you know your intentions are good, and you know that you will be blessed in the long run for being compassionate!
I completely understand that sending a hand-made card can seem too touching and personal to those of us who do this as a hobby. It stings to reach out to someone who has treated you badly - and something hand-made just seems like a slap in the face. I get that.
If you're feeling like you should reach out in SOME way then I'd make a quick phone call when you know they are not home and leave a brief message that you "heard she had been sick & just wanted to let them know you were thinking about them." Short & sweet. You did the right thing - it's over & done with.
Sometimes we need to smile & say the right thing but sometimes we just have to protect ourselves from giving too much. Hugs to you.
Something keeps telling me to send her a get well card. But then I think why should I -- they'll just turn my good intention around and use it against me.
Should I send her a card?
I'm a big believer in listening to your instincts. If something is telling you to send her a card, especially seeing as this is not something you would normally do, I would do it in your shoes. You could either send her a "stock" card (one you've made but not necessarily poured your heart into) or go buy one.
I think you should send a card. If you are concerned about them commenting on how you couldn't spend the money on a card or being critical of your work, buy one. It never hurts to be nice to someone, even if they don't reciprocate, you can know you did the right thing and it is a good example for your daughters.
I say do it, it is coming from a good place and you never know you may come out the other end with a better relationship. And if not, then I believe in karma and your kindness will be returned tenfold.
Yes, I have sent cards to people I don't like. I have an aunt who I have to try VERY hard to love. I never really want to send her one, but I do it anyway because I know it's the right thing to do.
If you have something telling you to do it, than I say do it. You never know what will happen after a simple act of kindness. She may react how you think she will, or she might surprise you.
I totally agree with Deborah, Trudee, Ally, and Mahloumel!!! I can't say any better than they already have...Send it girl! That is what your heart is telling you to do. You will feel good about it no matter what!;)
I too think that you should send the card. Who knows, maybe that will "help" with communication between you guys and if not, at least you know you did a kind deed by sending the card.
If something keeps telling you to do it, then I probably would....buy I would buy one. Either way, if they don't appreciate it then it is their loss....you did what you felt was right!
You already know what to do! Send the card. No one can possibly twist the good intentions of a wish to feel better.
deb
You obviously have never met my in-laws. lol!
If the satisfaction of sending the card will bring you more joy than the pain that may accompany it (stemming from accusations, etc.), go for it. If not, I say skip it.
If your gut says to do it, then do it. As far as sending a handmade card here's what I do...
I have an A,B,C list of family, friends, neighbors, etc. I only send the REALLY killer cards to the A list. The B's and C's get something accordingly. Make sense?
I'm a big believer in listening to your instincts. If something is telling you to send her a card, especially seeing as this is not something you would normally do, I would do it in your shoes. You could either send her a "stock" card (one you've made but not necessarily poured your heart into) or go buy one.
I totally agree on the instinct thing -- I have wierd instincts sometimes but I follow them and usually right on the money. Sometimes I do nice stuff for people and never thanked or get the response I kind of thought I would get, but overall I feel better for doing it somehow.
I must not be near as nice as the other stampers on this board. Sorry, but I wouldn't send a home made card. My husband has an ex, and she has been so hateful for the last 20+ years... why would I send her a card that I spent time, thoughts and energy? I save my works for the people that are important in my life.
At the very most, I MIGHT send a store bought card that said something like:
Heard you were ill. Attitude is everything when you're sick - I'm sure your's will get you through this.
Send her one AND give her a pretty one. Sometimes when I am sending a card to someone I don't like very much, I think about sending the one with the "oops" or the one that isn't quite right. But then I send a really nice one and feel better. (Or else I stamp a duplicate so I still have the card.)
I had to laugh when I read the title of the thread because I just did send a card to someone I can't stand. My DH used to work for his uncle--worked for him for 3 years with little pay, not benefits, and WAY too much overtime (uncle once called at 2 am on a saturday, well technicaly a sunday, with an emergency that dh *had* to fix right then). Anyway, DH finaly quit this past august and has a way better job now, but guess what! Uncle has NEVER paid DH his final check nor some other pay that he owes him as well. Oh, did I mention that my DH is the only reason uncle still has a business at this point as my dh saved his sorry butt too many times to count. (And I'm still trying to talk DH into taking legal action--he's a really sweet guy :( ) Anyway, I always handmake the cards for Christmas along with a letter and whatnot. I was SO tempted not to send them anything this year. Or if I did, I was going to go buy a store bought card and send that just to them (but they would never have caught on to the fact that I was being snide, so why waste my money).
I did end up sending them the same thing I sent everyone else just because I figure I'm going to be judged for my own actions and there's no reason to punish myself just because uncle is a jerk. Not to say that you have the exact same situation that I did, but I would send the card anyway. It can't hurt, might make you feel just a tiny bit better just knowing you're the bigger person. ;)
Thanks for the advice ~ I think I will go ahead and send one. And as far as sending a handmade card versus a store bought card, it's really a matter of convenience for me to send a handmade card because I live about 15 miles from the closest store (and I REALLY don't want to waste gas at $2.30 a gallon on her!)
I guess my only apprehension is I don't want them to find a way to use it against me. I thought I would simply say get well soon, sign it and have the girls sign it. No personal message or anything like that.
Here's the card I made for her. I used the color challenge for this week as my "inspiration". Even though I don't care for her, I'm sorry she's ill and I do hope she starts feeling better soon.
Have you ever sent a card to someone you don't like?
