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i thought you were selling your plasma TV!!! not plasma... i don't even know what that is?! i've never heard of that in Canada.
i've had similar experiences in my life, but i usually hear from a third party that Mr. so-and-so said i did amazing cards, even though they said NOTHING to me.... so let's just hope they gave you a second thought....
I can't even count how many times people compliment my husband and never say a thing to me! :lol: you just have to laugh about it I know I once went through a phase of why if they don't appreciate them - but now I know that most do and that is good enough for me.
When I first started stamping, I was SO excited to give out my hand made cards. I couldn't understand how the people I was giving them to were not equally as excited to recieve them. But, as time went on, I figured out that I enjoy making the cards and that's what matters most. I know when I give my cards to other stampers, they understand the effort that went into them and are more appreciative than a non-stamper would be. I stmap for the joy of creating and the joy of giving. What the recipiant takes from it is up to them and I don't worry about that any more.
The way you described your in-laws, the problem is them, not you. Your work is beautiful. Sounds like the in-laws have too many personal problems to demonstrate common courtesy and thank you. Don't stop being a thoughtful, considerate person just because they are jerks!
Lori, I ditto everyone's plea for you to continue with your art. Yes, it is true art because it comes from your soul! If you still feel like giving your wonderful cards to your in-laws, then do it! We never know whom we touch with our love and thoughtfulness. Your precious cards may be the seed that turns just one person around. So, as Liz said, don't stop being a thoughtful, considerate person. Your paper crafting is your outlet to grow as a person.. don't stop.
May God bless, Sandi
__________________ StormyElf'd '07Humble Ink Smears If at first you don't succeed, talk to God! Then, go put on your big girl panties!
I love making things. Always have, always will. I didn't realize how much some of the things I make mean to other people even if they don't say anything at the time. I went to my family reunion this summer. My elderly Aunt who is 88 brought out a box. Guess what what was inside of it. She had been saving all the cards that I sent her from the time I was a child. I'm 40 now. I was totally blown away. She never really said much about them. More like " oh. another card from Pam" I didn't know they meant that much to her. She is NOT a pack rat at all.
my rambleing point ;o) is you never know what it may mean to them in the long run. Keep giving them cards if it makes YOU happy even if they look at you weird at the time.
__________________ Green acres is the place to be
Last edited by pjw3362004; 11-29-2008 at 05:32 PM..
Lori - you have gotten such great advice here, and I can totally appreciate your frustration. I understand selling plasma - that was the thing lots of my friends did in college because it was a paycheck without the hassle of a job - very nice compared to the stuff I had to deal with. And anyone out there with universal health care is totally not going to get it! I also understand that if some folks haven't gotten the reaction they want from recipients, they stop taking the time and effort to make cards for them, and either don't give or do store bought. I really do get it.
The thing I want to add is that we all do this crafty thing for different reasons, and you have to do it for your own reasons, not anyone else's. I make and send cards for all kinds of occasions, and I will continue even when I know they are tossed after a day or even that moment. I do it because the person I sent a card to is someone I care about, no matter what they do or don't do. Others here have said that you never know how someone may really feel about getting a card, and even if they didn't react the way you wanted, they may have been touched and just not known how to express it. Sorry, but it does sound like the family is a little emotionally... immature?
You don't learn how to express gratitude and appreciation unless you've had be grateful for and appreciate you first. I would encourage you to keep caring about your family - show them you appreciate them by making them something special. Take the high road - you'll be so glad you did. Good luck and God bless!
Lori, I wouldn't give up. Although I love to give the cards and gifts away, I really participate in this hobby for my own sanity. It has been huge therapy for me through some very tough times. I don't bother thinking that I'm going to get recognition from the people I'm giving the card to, as most people don't look at our cards much differently than a store-bought card. I checked out your gallery, and I can see you're very talented. I say if you enjoy it, keep doing it.
I agree with gv-copperdog. I think of it as therapy and really don't care if people throw them away or even thank me for them. I enjoy making them. Keep doing what you love. Do you have a group of friends that share your love for stamping/making cards? Try getting a group together. I have a group of women I meet with once a week and we have dinner and make cards or do other paper crafting projects, mostly involving stamping though. This was the best thing that happened to me because we all give each other cards for birthdays and other occasions. Plus, each week we take turns coming up with projects and techniques to do. So this is where I get my validation as well as from the comments on SCS gallery and my blog.
Also, with all of us feeling like our hobby is therapy, do you think we need therapy for our therapy?
I can understand how you feel, but I don't think the family members care. They seem a bit disfunctional to me. I would keep stamping, but I think I'd check around to see if I could be giving them to people who would appreciate them more. Call nursing homes and ask for names of people who might appreciate cards. A lot of those people are forgotten. Or if you attend a church, ask the secretary if there are homebound members that might appreciate a card. I was a church secretary for a long time and found that many of the homebound members loved getting cards. Sometimes they feel as if noone remembers them any longer, and a card assures them that someone does remember. I'm sure there are other sources also. I can't imagine giving up this life affirming habit for any reason other than health problems. Send a card or give a card and then promptly forget about it. You'll feel a lot better.
__________________ Keep what is worth keeping
and with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
I can understand how you feel, but I don't think the family members care. They seem a bit disfunctional to me. I would keep stamping, but I think I'd check around to see if I could be giving them to people who would appreciate them more. Call nursing homes and ask for names of people who might appreciate cards. A lot of those people are forgotten. Or if you attend a church, ask the secretary if there are homebound members that might appreciate a card. I was a church secretary for a long time and found that many of the homebound members loved getting cards. Sometimes they feel as if noone remembers them any longer, and a card assures them that someone does remember. I'm sure there are other sources also. I can't imagine giving up this life affirming habit for any reason other than health problems. Send a card or give a card and then promptly forget about it. You'll feel a lot better.
Paula, I agree with you on this and encourage it. I have a stash of Christmas cards from years past that I didn't send and probably won't send because I keep making new. I contacted my son's teacher to see if she wants them for a project for the class to address them to people in nursing homes or soldiers, etc.
I have thought about selling plasma to support my stamping addiction too! My husband started doing this a year or two ago to help support his woodworking hobby, and this got me thinking . . . also, I LOVE the idea of selling cards at work and then donating the money to a homeless shelter; I might have to steal that idea. As for the main topic here, I think the important thing is that we make the cards with love and joy in our hearts. I agree; it's wonderful therapy. Happy stamping, Everyone!
Lori, Just wanted to tell you that I looked at your gallery, and I like your cards, even commented on some in your gallery. Really like your stamping space, wish mine looked so good, <smile>
I haven't been stamping that long, but I have been making crafts for years, (crochet, cross stitch, sewing, etc) and I have given many home made gifts through the years. I realized a long time ago, that NOT everyone appreciates home made things, but then it's usually people who do not fully know all the time and effort (and care) that gets put into the home made gifts. I have been fortunate to have mostly a postive response to the "home made" gifts that I have given, but sometimes I don't know it till much later....like a really special friend who didn't tell me she liked some of the cards I sent to her...and then I find out that not one but two of my cards are framed and hanging on her livingroom wall. And I have also been surprised by finding out that many years after I have given someone a gift they still have it...
So maybe nothing was said about your cards at the time you gave them, but they may still have been apprecated...
I craft because I love to craft, and if it touches just one person...I feel like my time and effort are worth it...
I would say 1) do this for yourself--it's a hobby, after all, and it should be something you enjoy doing for the sake of doing it--not for other people and 2) if it's causing undue financial hardship then find ways to do it more cheaply or make do with what you have already.
Sometimes people like them, sometimes they don't. Either way, it doesn't matter to me, b/c I only do those things I enjoy doing (in the context of scrapping/stamping as a hobby). I will admit that I take more time and make special cards and gifts for specific people when I see that they appreciate it, and especially if they request it. Otherwise, then I make cards b/c I want to make cards, then select one from my stash when needed. I scrap layouts for myself on topics I feel like scrapping with pictures and materials I like, even if not acid-free, etc.
I'm spending free time and personal money on this hobby, so I make sure to treat it as a hobby--it should be enjoyable.
The way you described your in-laws, the problem is them, not you. Your work is beautiful. Sounds like the in-laws have too many personal problems to demonstrate common courtesy and thank you. Don't stop being a thoughtful, considerate person just because they are jerks!
I couldn't agree more. Your cards are gorgeous! The fact that some of the in-laws had a hard time even looking at you when you gave them a card makes me think that they're uncomfortable with someone being kind to them (probably because thier dysfunctional behavior seems normal to them).
I say, keep on making those cards - Especially if you enjoy doing it. And if you decide not to give them cards anymore, that's ok too.
This whole deal reminds me of when I gave my grandfather a birthday card a couple of years ago and he made a nasty comment about why didn't I buy him a card instead of being too cheap and making one. :rolleyes: Guess what? No more cards for him! But I still make them for others. So should you. ;)
You are all so right-- I am going to keep doing this for all of the reasons you said, and all of the reasons I said. It is my creative outlet, and perhaps someone is touched in a way that I never even know...
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement!
I was the one in my family NEVER to remember bday's, etc.....until I got custody of 2 grandkids and started stamping...
Now the joke in my family is as long as I have the kids they will get cards....:-D I even put on the back Yep, still have the kids....:-D
Anyway, I would still give those family members cards....it sounds like they need a kind and caring person in their life to remember bdays, etc......to remind them of how life should be.....
When you send one you KNOW at least when they open it they will for a quick second have some joy that YOU remembered their day....they may not remember the card but they will remember YOUR KINDNESS
Maybe not send them your best but it is always nice to be remembered....
oh, my sil didn't realize that the card i sent i had made....,now my sister has made the comment that she could never be as artistic as I am....they both get cards,....
imo...I HAD to have a blood transfusion to save my life twice so thank God for those that sell plasma......most clip coupons and look for sales....:-D
Just had to say - as per JazziTobi - they do not pay for plasma or blood donations in Canada- it is done on a purely voluntary basis. I appreciate very much those who do give their blood, as my dad, who battled cancer, received several plasma donations in his fight to battle cancer -which he did lose a year ago.
My suspicion is that since you got behind and their events were weeks or maybe even months ago, it is anti-climatic to receive a card or gift for something much later. I'm sure your cards were beautiful and made with love!
__________________ Donna Love my puppies! Thor 5 years; Maddee 5 years
Some people have such nice responses as to why this reaction.
My feeling is quite frank and blunt: Some people are just RUDE and have no manners whatsoever. That's really it in a nutshell, it is, really.
My family has always been respectful of receiving anything from anyone and the only ones that are extremely rude are ones that married INTO the family and that were not brought up with the same manners my mother taught us. My dad's family and my DH's family are at times so rude it is just amazing.
I am sorry that your cards were not recieved in any manner that they most obviously deserved. Please know that you could continue to do this and maybe do duplicates so that your collection of cards (sort of portfolio if you will) will be something you can save and admire and look at -- giving the other duplicate away and not thinking another thing about them - if a response, great, if not oh well, you have the duplicate at home to admire. OR you can discontinue spending any time at all for these obviously rude people.
You are awesome! Because you care, because you make QUALITY CARDS!!!, there are those who would love to have your cards! If in doubt, check out my blog http://stampinfromtheheart.com - I send cards over to the troops - cards that they can use to send home - and let me tell you, they APPRECIATE CARDS LIKE YOU MAKE!!!!
I understand your feelings. This is something you enjoy doing and because others can't appreciate it does not mean that you should stop doing it. One must always nourish their own soul. While it seems you are also trying to nourish their souls also and believe me girl they sound like they need it. So I think you can continue to give them cards because it is more about the person you are inside then about them appreciating it. And I really think they can all learn from you. To show caring. I just had a birthday on Friday and was so surprise to get emails from others on this site wishing me a happy birthday. I even got a card from someone on here and I have to tell you it made my day. Most of the times when I give cards someone says something. But there have been times I have worked on a card for hours only to have it glanced at. So I understand but keep giving and doing You affect them even though they don't show it.
blessings
Jazzytobi,
Some drug companies use blood plasma from donors to make blood products for hemophiliacs, cancer patients, AIDS patients, and other immunocompromised patients (remember the Boy in the Bubble from the 80's? Like him). They pay the donors for their time, because it takes about 4-5 hours a week to donate twice. My son received plasma products and pharmaceuticals when he went through his cancer and chemo treatment, so it's not a big thing for me to do it for others who need it. And, of course, the money for fun stuff doesn't hurt, either.
They filter out less than a liter, and return all of your red blood cells back to you (because they are harder for your body to replace, that's why you can only donate "whole blood" once every eight weeks). Your body replaces the plasma (many antibodies, proteins, and water) in less than two days.
Many big cities have plasma donation centers. I heard here on SCS that one woman's son donates in Florida, and makes like $85 a week! We're not quite so profitable her in WI, but $55 a week buys a few stamps...
;-)
__________________ Joyce
Remember - never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Fan Club Member
Holy moly, girl! You really DO sell your plasma for your hobby! (Haven't read all of the posts, but I did read enough to make sure you were serious and not just kidding about that.)
For what it's worth, I think you're wonderful for your kindness. Like others, sorry it fell on deaf ears (or whatever). Sounds like they don't get too much kindness in their family unfortunately; are they perhaps just awkward with expressions of kindness (maybe that's been suggested already)?
Gee whiz, though, if you don't feel like selling your blood (plasma part of it)any more for your hobby, DON'T.
As for no one liking cards anymore, I'll go with the indication that they DO simply based on the mountains of cards for sell at so many stores.
Aghhh! I can feel your frustration. I made a beautiful set of cards for my daughter's teacher who went on and on about them and couldn't believe that I made them. For my son's teacher, I made a smaller set of the same cards and also gave her a cool glass (for her morning Dr. Pepper.) When she opened it, she commented about the glass and then put the sack on her desk. I told her that there was something else in the sack, and she said, "Oh yea, the stationery." Then, she didn't even mention the cards in her thank you note--just the cup.
I have just decided, I guess, not to spend too much time on things for people that won't appreciate them. It's just hard when you don't know in advance who will and who will not.
I think everyone here has said everything that can be said about our hobby/addiction. It's your hobby and you should embrace it. Believe me, I spent a lot of time making a nice Christmas card last year for my SIL and I put a $100 gift certificate to Costco inside. She just said thanks and put it next to her purse. She never called to thank me or comment on the card, but if you dwell on expectations and how you 'feel' they should thank you then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. I just believe that everyone says "thank you" in their own way. I know that I put the time and effort into making these cards and I always use post-it notes to write my messages because if they don't care to keep it, they can always give it to someone else (recycle). LOL No strings attached, just a card from me. It just makes me feel good that I was able to give something little with some heart behind it.
__________________ Member of RAK, BRAK, & Soldiers' Angels (Ladies of Liberty & Cards Plus team) My Blog
Proud Fan Club member
I feel the same way. At first I was so excited to make cards and give them, but then seeing others reaction can be such a let down. One thing that I got from this thread is that other crafter's feel the same way so I just sent a thank you again email to my mother in law for the knitted socks and quilted jacket that she made for us for Christmas. In retrospect it wasn't that I didn't appreciate the gifts, it's just that it's hard to get to excited about socks. Perhaps it's the same with cards. People like them- they just don't feel the over the moon thrill we get making the perfect card. Too bad for them!
Mamaschwich...I have so many supplies...what is on your wishlist? I would love to send you something nice.
My son is a freshman in college and he gives plasma twice a week. It scares me but he can use the $$$. He just took the Hep shot so he can make more money giving his plasma. What is a mom to do?
Please PM me with your full name and address so I can send you something you want or need.
You are the bright spot in the family! Keep stamping and giving to them! They know you do it and even if they don't acknowledge right away, somewhere in the back of their heads they will remember it was you who remembered them the most and cared enough to give a home made card.
I understand your frustration. I thought people didn't like my cards. So the people I felt never commented, or even said mean things like another home made gift, I sent the 99 cent hallmark cards. The one day, my niece asked me if I quit making those great handmade cards. Boy was I surprised. So I make cards for everyone again. I just spend more time on the ones for the people who I know appreciate them. I even send them to my in laws. They are the most dysfunctional group of people. They are the ones who are rude about homemade things. I do it for me!
Take care!
Dear Lori,
Are your husband and I related??? I come from a dysfunctional family who never say anything to me about my cards. I make them because it's my therapy, I enjoy it.
It wasn't until my stepdad came down with leukemia a year ago that my mother said something to me about the cards I made for her. I put in a RAK request for him/them without their knowledge and she received a couple of cards thinking they were long lost friends of my step dads. Eventually she caught on and said something to me about all of "my friends" (thank-you my scs sistahs!) sending the cards. She then said you know, I've kept every single card you ever sent me in a wooden box. I was shocked! She never said "I got the card you sent me" or "thank-you for the card you sent" and that is from my own mother. Some people have a really hard time expressing their feelings in positive ways, especially when they come from dysfunctional families..negative is normal for them. Now...my in laws on the other hand, as soon as they open the card they are on the phone thanking me for the card I sent and praising me for the work and time I put into the card. They too have kept all the cards I have made. It of course feels wonderful to get a phone call thanking me for the card, but it also feels great to know that deep down my cards did mean something to my mother.
You just have to do what you feel is right for you. If they can't say thank-you or simply smile and acknowledge your kindness then don't put the time into making a card for them. If you do it as your therapy and want to brighten someone's day (or irritate them, just kidding) then continue making them cards. Maybe just make theirs a little more simple and spend less time on it, that way if the situation occurs again you know you didn't put that much time and effort into it.
PS...I'm sorry to hear about your son. I pray all is well with him now. Thank-you for donating your plasma. It's people like you who kept my stepdad around for us to enjoy a little longer I wish I could donate!
I guess I am going to go along with the thought that most people who dont do crafts have NO clue what went into it. For example, My mother in law lives out of state. I love her to death but she has NEVER done crafts so she has NEVER even mentioned a card that I made for her. We went on vacation with them and I made a really darling scrapbook for them from the pics and they didnt even mention it. So, I have no hard feelings and think they just have NO clue about the love and time put into it. I will keep on honoring her by doing my very best. I just made her Moms day card. I thought it was very pretty although it hasnt even gotten one comment in the gallery so see...we are not often appreciated even by our own..LOL!! But....i wont ever give up something that I enjoy and I always think that everything project I learn from and someday ...a door will open up ...and it DID!!!
I am doing cards with a group of women at church that is bringing all of us so many blessings. so..keep doing what you love ...the rest will come later
Hugs..........
Do it for yourself. Most of my coworkers make fun of my stamping. Whatever!
(I hope you are not really selling your plasma for this hobby. If so, I would seriously re think the hobby...)
My ex-husband was embarrassed by my hobby. DBF loves that I do it and is always excited to give out a card of mine. He brags about my "talents" haha, to other people and it embarasses me and I love it at the same time. I've had some people be so-so about the cards but most love getting them and when I give them as a gift my friends don't want to send them out but when they do, they tell me of the compliments they get from the receipent.
I agree with the other comments. I make cards as a form of therapy also, but in addition to giving them to family & friends, I also sell them at work & donate the proceeds to a homeless shelter. Otherwise, I would have cards coming out of my ears, lol. Hang in there if you love your hobby!
I have to agree with McDeb.....I LOVE manking cards. As a result I have a pile of them. A friend at work who likes the cards I make for her birthday asked if I knew where she could buy a stationery set for her Grandma for Christmas. I told her I would be happy to give her some of the "all occasion" cards I have for her Grandma. She was really happy with that. She insisted on paying me. After I dropped off the cards I made for her, she showed them to other co-workers. Now I have 3 orders! One gal wants 44!! I convinced her to take 1/2 now and 1/2 later. Who woulda thought! Now I have extra $$ to try some of the stuff I was hesitant to spend money on.
I guess I am totally selfish because I don't care if anyone likes my cards or not. I make them for ME!! I enjoy making them, I love buying supplies, I feel good giving them out, and it relieves stress to be creative. Maybe his family is just rude??
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaSchwich
So I have been really busy this semester in nursing school, and got a bit behind in my birthday/anniversary cards. I don't have a lot of DH's family member's addresses (someone's always moving/getting divorced/getting married, as it's a really big family), so I just thought I'd bring them with me... Brought eleven different cards, all ones that I had spent extra time on, each one original for that person.
I gave them all out individually, somewhat discreetly... NOT ONE person thanked me or even cared. Most looked at the card, then set down on the table in a pile. A few didn't even open theirs. It made me rethink this hobby. I am spending my time, money, and creative energy in the studio, thinking about the people I care about, and trying to do something to make their day. If they don't even care, then why do I even bother?
Do any of you get any responses from people to assure me that someone does care? I am selling my plasma to pay for this hobby, and somehow, if no one cares, then I quit. It's just not worth my time if it doesn't even affect anyone.
So I have been really busy this semester in nursing school, and got a bit behind in my birthday/anniversary cards. I don't have a lot of DH's family member's addresses (someone's always moving/getting divorced/getting married, as it's a really big family), so I just thought I'd bring them with me... Brought eleven different cards, all ones that I had spent extra time on, each one original for that person.
I gave them all out individually, somewhat discreetly... NOT ONE person thanked me or even cared. Most looked at the card, then set down on the table in a pile. A few didn't even open theirs. It made me rethink this hobby. I am spending my time, money, and creative energy in the studio, thinking about the people I care about, and trying to do something to make their day. If they don't even care, then why do I even bother?
Do any of you get any responses from people to assure me that someone does care? I am selling my plasma to pay for this hobby, and somehow, if no one cares, then I quit. It's just not worth my time if it doesn't even affect anyone.
Your work is beautiful - don't give up. If you want gratification, send ME the cards, I will claim them as my own and I will thank you! Hee Hee
If you enjoy the creative process, I would say stick with it! I think CTMH has a stamp (for the back of the card) that says something like "If you knew how much time it took to make this, you'd never throw it out!" (only it sounds better on the stamp, I'm paraphrasing here!) A lot of people seriously can't imagine how much work it is to make cards, that's all.
