Crafting and Loss

[Hoboken Paper]

I lost my father in July. He was 77 when he died. Not a tragedy, but it still feels like it was way too soon. Now every time I browse my favorite craft stores I feel a jump in my chest when I see dad-related product. I'm also mourning all the dad-related supplies that I purchased and didn't use in time.

I hesitated to post something so personal, but if anyone would understand what I am going through it would be the folks in this community.

If you have unused supplies sitting around, I encourage you to use them and send some cards to your loved ones.

[hoptownracer1]

I am so sorry for your loss Elizabeth! I think the loss of a parent or family member no matter what the circumstances would be a tragedy. Thank you for reminding us of what is important. (((Virtual Hugs!)))

[lovinpaper]

Sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. Yes, I totally understand. It takes a while to grieve and feel like creating. Also the crafty stuff that reminds of us the loved one, can be difficult. Possibly take the stuff you purchased specifically for your Dad and place them away somewhere for a time. It helps to not look at too many videos that will trigger the grief. I lost Mom in 2019 and at times it still seems like yesterday. I purchased a new rose stamp every year to send her a card. I stayed away from using those for a while.

[Scrapjanny]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. My mother is almost 96 and is declining rapidly. She is no longer able to make cards with me, and she has home hospice. Every time I'm in JoAnn's or Michael's, I'm reminded of all the things we won't be able to do anymore. I just went through the bulk of her craft supplies to see what can be donated or disposed of. It was heartbreaking.

My heart goes out to you. Maybe you can continue to make cards for fathers and donate them. So many organizations focus on single mothers - and rightly so - but there are single fathers out there who are struggling and might benefit from the love and thoughtfulness that I know you put into your cards. Just a thought. Prayers and peaceful vibes sent your way.

[gaylestamps]

Lost dad in 1978 and mom in 2013. I still tape a card to their headstone every birthday, anniversary and for certain other events. It helps a bit.

[Hoboken Paper]

Thank you for all the hugs and great ideas. Definitely need the hugs right now. And sending hugs back to all of you too <3.

[PJBstamper2]

Elizabeth - sorry for your loss! Maybe when you’re ready you could donate some dad themed cards to a local assisted living place?

[Hoboken Paper]

Thank you. I have been crafting, but I think it's going to be awhile before I can make anything dad related.

I really appreciate all the support. Most of the time I am okay, but I was just feeling it deeply at the moment that I decided to post.

[wavejumper]

I hear you. I do have stamps I got for certain people who passed before I could use it.

I have decided I will still use them-now in their memory.

I am sorry for your loss . It is still very fresh for you. I don't think there is any good age to lose people in our hearts-although in our minds it may be more acceptable. There is no surprise that you have down days. (((hugs))) IMHO....you never "get over" loss...you just learn to live with it.

Crafting should be fun. If they bother you, don't touch them till you are ok with it again.

[jacqueline]

So sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. I'm going to make a card for my mom and dad this week and send it "just because". I also periodically send cards to my BFFs dad who is in his 80s and having health and memory issues.

[psmiller]

Hi Elizabeth...lost my younger sister in Dec 2021...still feel profound grief. Discovered a box while cleaning out her house that housed every card I had ever made for her. Also recently took out a box of rocks that she and I painted together. Her artistic talent was not great but to me..they are beautiful and are treasures that I will keep forever.
Im still sad but there is a bit of brightness in most days now. I will forever miss her.
The loss of a parent is immeasurable because no one will ever love you like that again.
Sending hugs!

[Jo Ann F.]

Sorry for your loss, Elizabeth. It is hard to lose one's parents and realize no one will ever love you the way they did. I'm grateful when something triggers a memory of a special time with him.

[jeanne3579]

My sympathies to you. My dad was 96 when he passed, but since my mom died when I was 11, he had been both mom and dad to me through all those years. I even sent him a mother's day card every year. One of my sons is a dad, so I send him a Father's Day card each year, along with all the other men in my life that have the important job of Dad. Maybe finding other men---sons, brother's in law, uncles, neighbors---to send a card to would fill that empty spot for you. I helps me, and just the act of creating brings me peace and joy.

[gobarb26]

So sorry about the loss of your beloved dad. I know it is hard.
I lost my son in an accident 9 years ago. He was a well known musician in South FL. Whenever I see something related to his many talents, I think of him. Sometimes, I even forget that he is no longer here on earth. It is still difficult at certain times but I go on because he would want me to and also, it helps to fill the void and makes me happy.

[Lisa D.]

If I have learned nothing else about grief, I do know that we all process grief in different ways and at different lengths of time. My father passed suddenly in 2003, and under suspicious circumstances in a nursing home. It took a few years, but I have been able to redirect my crafting skills/projects into a positive memory in his honor. He was retired Air Force, so my crafting group supports the Honor Flights in our area. We also make sure that EVERY senior in our county (nursing homes, assisted living, senior apartments) receive a little 3x3 encouragement card for major holidays (Valentines, Easter, Mothers/Fathers Day, Independence Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). Even though we are a rural community, that is still 800+ cards for each holiday event.
You do You. And in time, you will discover the perfect way to honor your father's life.

[Debra]

After a death things are never quite the same. It will get better, but it will never be the same. After my dads death 10 years ago I never had a card class again. It’s just different. Now I make cards or crafts whenever I want and how I want. But it took time. Give yourself time. Hugs

[miss]

So sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling, when my mom died my hobby of reading was strongly connected with her. I didn’t read for many years after she passed even still I don’t really read like I used to when she was alive. I have lost both my parents, and I sometimes get annoyed that there’s always a little Happy Mother’s Day, or a Happy Father’s Day greeting included in a stamp set. For example, the set from Stampin Up that is all about fishing has several greetings about dad and Father’s Day. My daughter and her boyfriend are big fisherman. I did end up buying the set but I kind of resent those little stamps in there. On a positive note, it is good that you have a healthy hobby to help you during this hard time.

[mouseyr61]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I got into scrapbooking after I lost my mom and dad within months of each other, trying to hold onto those memories. Its important to spend time, listen and explore old photos and memories while they are with you,

[RJP111]

My condolences, Elizabeth. :'(

I lost my Dad 4-1/2 years ago, and it still hurts just as bad now as the day he went home to heaven.

[Hoboken Paper]

Thank you everyone for your stories and condolences. It means a lot to me.

It's getting less raw every day, but of course the hurt pops up from time to time. I am sure it will continue to pop up from time to time but perhaps less and less frequently.

I am definitely doing a lot better.

Hugs.

[pepperann]

In reading all these posts, the one thing that stands out to me the most is how connected we are to one another through our love of crafting. It gives us solace when we are sad, a way to relax when we are stressed and makes us joyful when we create something to share with others--or even just to keep for ourselves.

I lost my father 12 years ago next week and my mother in 2019. My dad crafted in his own way by woodworking and creating lush gardens with my mother that were gorgeous. My mother became a bride in the late '50's and was a wizard with sewing and 'home arts' (flower arranging, cooking, decorating, gardening) and our home at Christmas was like something out of a fairytale.

I like to think that I got a little of their talent and am able to channel it in my own projects that bring joy to me and the others I share it with. I guess what I'm trying to say is that crafting, whether its a card or a memory project, its a way for us to honor those beloved ones who are no longer with us and yet it still bring us great satisfaction by creating something that others will cherish when we ourselves gone.

My most sincere and heartfelt condolences to you Elizabeth. You are not alone and we are all here for each other. Hugs.