Splitcoaststampers.com - the world's #1 papercrafting community
You're currently viewing Splitcoaststampers as a GUEST. We pride ourselves on being great hosts, but guests have limited access to some of our incredible artwork, our lively forums and other super cool features of the site! You can join our incredible papercrafting community at NO COST. So what are you waiting for?
Jen, I am so proud that you were brave enough to bring us such a tough challenge. We should never have to outlive our children. Even if we have not experienced a loss so devastating it is still heartbreaking to think about. It is really good for you to share with others and to be able to talk about your child. I have yet to do one of these challenges just because I have been busy...But today I am making time... In my DH's family his 1st cousin lost her child to SIDS and we make sure to talk about her son every holiday. It seems to help her to talk about him istead of acting as if he was never here (as you already said). He was her only little boy, she has 3 daughters.
I also have a close friend that had a miscarriage at almost 7 months. I went to see her the day she lost her baby and she was home by herself crying. I hugged her and cried with her for what seemed like an eternity. Even though I honestly did not have any words of comfort to give her...Just being there during the tough times was a tremendous help. For a long time she was scared to try to get pregnant. But I am happy to say she now has a beautiful little girl who just turned 5 this year. Her first child was a boy. I realize that this is still hard even after many years have passed as Wendy (DH's cousin) lost her son 8 years ago! HUGS to you Jen and God Bless You for supporting the March of Dimes. Blessings and prayers to anyone else who has lost a child.
__________________
Tracy H.#31511=)
"The beginning is always today!" Mary Shelley
Last edited by stampin-sunnychick; 04-07-2006 at 10:48 AM..
Location: My very hot stamp room, in Phoenix! It's a dry heat.
Posts: 38,730
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
After reading the comments about the blue baby one I did, I thought I needed to put that handprint on a heart. So, here is a pink one. Different verse.
Thank you Jen for helping us all take time to learn how best to help our friends and loved one when these sads times come. I appreciate it very much. I found a poem on google by Edgar Guest and just loved it. I hope it is appropriate. The name of the poem is "To All Parents".
Location: Oklahoma...State (OSU) We love 'em even when they lose, and we're never disappointed!
Posts: 28,262
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Okay I can't read any more of these...I don't want to run out of tissues in the house....this is such a wonderfully thoughtful challenge-I really need to case some of these to have on hand and hopefully never use.
A girl in my MOPS group had a D&C today, so I looked and tried to get ideas to send to her, but my son to be died at 18 weeks gestation last spring, and I just had my sweet and healthy baby Sara under precarious circumstances on March 10th so I am too emotional I guess. Just proves I need some of these in my stash. Hugs to everyone who has lost a child in any capacity.
This was a tough challenge. As I sat here today searching for a sentiment, I came across so many difficult poems to read. My heart goes out to anyone that has ever lost a baby. I could never imagine the pain.
Ladies.. this has been a really emotional day. I started off the morning working on this challenge.. then spent the rest of the day thinking about it. I even talked about it with my therapist! No Joke!
It's been many many years for me (25 to be exact), but the sting stays forever.. all I hope for is that glorious reunion someday.
I'm afraid I'm going to pass on this challenge. Too personal for me. I lost two daughters (from triplets) that were born at 25 weeks. Amber lived 2 1/2 days and Cheyenne lived 15 days. My son survived but my dream of having daughters died with my daughters. It's been 8 years now and I'm still crying typing this. I was straightening a young girls hair at work the other day (she's 19 I think) and she told me "you should have had girls" and that got me started again.
I did want to second comments about remembering at other times of the year (and for many years into the future). It makes me feel good when other people don't pretend they never existed. It makes me feel good when someone mentions them or includes them in the count of grandchildren. I have ornaments I hang on the tree each year in their memory and I buy presents for a less fortunate girl each year to help fill my "mommying a girl" desire. I've also made a 6x6 memory album for them and have spoken at infant loss groups about doing the same for their children. On strong days I'd take the challenge, but today isn't one of them.
The other thing we can do is check in on the parents once a week for a long time afterwards....while there might be tons of support in the beginning, after a couple of weeks, the grieving are left to fend for the themselves as everyone else "forgets" and gets on with their lives. (this is true for any loss) Don't know what to say when you call? Just say, "I was thinking of you today." That is such a comfort in itself. Then pause, and let them have a chance to talk if they want.
Thanks for mentioning this Beth. This is so true.
I was TOO together and "with it" after I lost my preemie son at birth. So, I think people didn't "worry" about me. It happened on the anniversary date of my first son being discharged from NICU at 3 1/2 months old. We always celebrated his "Homecoming Day". So, I came home and had a party for him. The day after the funeral, my first nephew was born. I was the good sister and went to the hospital to see the baby and my milk came in. I dealt with it. But I don't really remember hitting a deep depression until a couple of weeks later when the panic attacks started. The longer time passed, the more aloof I became and the less I heard from people. Four months later, I was very alone and a friend noticed and talked me into getting medical help.
The only thing I know to say is "Jesus loves the little children" (like the song). I think knowing they are in his hands is about the only comforting thing. I hope I haven't brought anyone's spirits down. I mean to offer my sympathy and a little hope to the hearts of those who have lost.
Since I have no baby or child stamps I have no idea what I will make but I will do my best to come up with something. May the Lord Bless You All!
Wendy,
Those are nice comforting words. We have Jesus holding a baby on our son's headstone.
If you have a strong faith in God, you may appreciate this.... depending on where you are in the grieving process. I had a preemie son who now struggles with disabilities, I've had an early miscarriage, but it wasn't until I lost my preemie son during delivery that I started losing my faith. This is what helped me regain some of my faith.
Why does God take infants? It seems so unfair. Could it be because they were so fragile and pure and loved by God that He was protecting these babies from life on Earth? And if these infants were so special and dear to Him, would he not take special care to have them live and grow inside the wombs of mothers that are dear to him? We won't get answers to all our questions here on Earth, but He did use us to give Him pure and precious souls.
It was great of you to share your story, Jen. All to often, we don't know what to say to someone who has had such a great loss because we don't know the circumstances/story and are afraid to say something we shouldn't.
I am a nurse and am usually really close to my patients. It is very important to let (especially a patient's family in my case) know that you care and even though you see death more frequently than you would like, it is never easy for us either. You never get used to the fact that life needs to end, so that we can continue on in a better place.
So many people think, we, as health care workers, are "use to" death. We are not. It effects us very deeply.
I always try to keep some condolance cards on hand so this will be helpful.
I know the feeling of finding out something is wrong before your baby is born. We had that situation with our son. He's eight now but has many medical issues. I always feel sad a few weeks before his birthday remembering the difficult times we went through, but his Birthday is always a big celebration.
A friend at work gave me a bear that says "I love you" when hugged, I almost wore him out the first few months, and he still sits on my desk. And all of the cards, notes, hugs, etc. really do make a difference.
Kat,
Thanks for the promise of a donation.
A friend at church gave us a small teddy bear with a blue ribbon for a boy. It's the only teddy or toy he'll ever have. It means a lot to me. We also have a Christmas tree remembrance ornament for him. It's a cradle with his name and date engraved on it. My parents have one for him and for my two nieces.
Wow. This thread just has me bawling. I'll have to fiddle around and see if I can come up w/ something that's up to par. {{{{{hugs}}}}}} to all of you that have experienced this first hand and if I do come up w/ a card I pray I never have to use it.
I am so happy to see the response to this challenge - I could've used a card like this a couple of months ago, but instead did nothing. shame on me :(
From what I've been reading today, it might not be too late to give a card months later...the person in your life might like to know that his/her child has not been forgotten, all these months later.
I'm getting a slow start on this. I may have to case. One of my ladies at the bowling alley delivered her baby at 23 weeks yesterday. She is not someone I'm close to (she's a new bowler), but she's a nice kid and she has the most beautiful 3 year old girl. I know she's heading down a tough road however this works out.
We've had friends in this situation and my heart goes out to all of you who've had to deal with it. I lost my niece at 15 months (she was 3 weeks younger than my 19 year old) and it about broke my heart.
__________________ Jeanne S - Inky Paws SCS Moderator
Jen, I am so proud that you were brave enough to bring us such a tough challenge. We should never have to outlive our children. Even if we have not experienced a loss so devastating it is still heartbreaking to think about. It is really good for you to share with others and to be able to talk about your child. I have yet to do one of these challenges just because I have been busy...But today I am making time... In my DH's family his 1st cousin lost her child to SIDS and we make sure to talk about her son every holiday. It seems to help her to talk about him istead of acting as if he was never here (as you already said). He was her only little boy, she has 3 daughters.
I also have a close friend that had a miscarriage at almost 7 months. I went to see her the day she lost her baby and she was home by herself crying. I hugged her and cried with her for what seemed like an eternity. Even though I honestly did not have any words of comfort to give her...Just being there during the tough times was a tremendous help. For a long time she was scared to try to get pregnant. But I am happy to say she now has a beautiful little girl who just turned 5 this year. Her first child was a boy. I realize that this is still hard even after many years have passed as Wendy (DH's cousin) lost her son 8 years ago! HUGS to you Jen and God Bless You for supporting the March of Dimes. Blessings and prayers to anyone else who has lost a child.
Tracy,
I think it's so wonderful how your family remembers your DH's cousin's baby and talk about him at holidays. And I'm sure your friend still remembers your support when she lost her little boy. I'm so happy to hear she has a little girl to raise. God bless.
Jen
I'm afraid I'm going to pass on this challenge. Too personal for me. I lost two daughters (from triplets) that were born at 25 weeks. Amber lived 2 1/2 days and Cheyenne lived 15 days. My son survived but my dream of having daughters died with my daughters. It's been 8 years now and I'm still crying typing this. I was straightening a young girls hair at work the other day (she's 19 I think) and she told me "you should have had girls" and that got me started again.
I did want to second comments about remembering at other times of the year (and for many years into the future). It makes me feel good when other people don't pretend they never existed. It makes me feel good when someone mentions them or includes them in the count of grandchildren. I have ornaments I hang on the tree each year in their memory and I buy presents for a less fortunate girl each year to help fill my "mommying a girl" desire. I've also made a 6x6 memory album for them and have spoken at infant loss groups about doing the same for their children. On strong days I'd take the challenge, but today isn't one of them.
Sorry for rambling.
Jane
Jane,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughters. I'll pray that tomorrow is a stronger day. ((((HUGS))))
From what I've been reading today, it might not be too late to give a card months later...the person in your life might like to know that his/her child has not been forgotten, all these months later.
Okay I can't read any more of these...I don't want to run out of tissues in the house....this is such a wonderfully thoughtful challenge-I really need to case some of these to have on hand and hopefully never use.
A girl in my MOPS group had a D&C today, so I looked and tried to get ideas to send to her, but my son to be died at 18 weeks gestation last spring, and I just had my sweet and healthy baby Sara under precarious circumstances on March 10th so I am too emotional I guess. Just proves I need some of these in my stash. Hugs to everyone who has lost a child in any capacity.
Rhonda - Glad to hear your Sara is fine, your prayers were answered. Congrats!!
I read this challenge this morning and it broke my heart. I thank the Lord that I never was faced with this and my son though a premie survived and is a healthy teenager. I went to the gallery to see all the wonderful cards--Oh MY GOSH--I was blown away. I am in tears with all the heart rending stories and the lovely cards, I am one who seldom cries. Bless you all. My prayers and sympathies for all of the losses. I wish I could give you each a huge hug.
This one's similar to the last I posted, but you know how one thing leads to another...I don't own any baby stamps, either, but I'm actually really happy with the way this turned out...maybe I don't need a baby stamp set after all?! TFL, and for sharing all of your heartfelt stories!
I haven't felt much like stamping the last couple of days, so I haven't done any of the challenges the later part of the week. But I did check on this one today and have been mesmerized by everyone's post! My heart goes out to each of you that have lost a child! I can't image the pain and heartache one must feel, I can only relate to what I would feel if I lost one of my daughters. I have had a few close friends who have lost their teenage children and have often wondered what I would do. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you -- this is a very difficult challenge and even tougher thread to read. Bless you all!
Oh-this was a tough one, I had to work really hard not to make it cutsie. Not sure I accomplished that. I too hope I never have to use this card. MY SYMPATHY Card
I was looking at the gallery for some sympathy cards ideas yesterday and today,because I need to make one for my next door neighbor,she just lost her 17 yr. old daughter,she suffered from deppresion for 4 years and on Thursday around 9:30 killed her self.We are all so sad and I can't still understand it! It's like so wierd,you doing this challenge,it's seems like it's for her.
__________________ If your word does not reflect your spirit and honor, do not speak.
Well I've been trying to find a good verse to use but so far the ones I've come across have been a little, well, creepy. They're just strange and I would NEVER be able to give a person a card w/ something like that on it. Does anyone have a good site or two that has some decent sympathy verses? I'm going to CASE a couple of the verses I've seen already but it would be nice to have more on hand.
I am touched by all of the experiences and kind words that you have shared on this thread. I too have an angel that watches over me. My Son Timothy was stillborn one day past his due date. He would be turning eleven this August. I feel very special when my friends and family talk about him or remember his birthday.
I agree that cards that come later, even thinking of you cards are very important and special for the grieving parents. I found that at first you have many many people rallying around you and then when the shock of it all begins to diminish, you have less people around to talk to. I was fortunate to have friends that recognized this and continued to support me for a long long time.
It is hard to know what to say, but even just a phone call to the Mom to tell her that you're thinking of her is very special. I appreciated people who talked to me about Timothy and asked me what he looked like or how big he was (12.5 pounds , 24 inches long and absolutely beautiful, with full lips and a handsome cleft in his chin)
At Christmas time I hang angel bears on the tree (one for each year that I have missed him) to remind me that he is still with us in spirit.
This is a poem that I had read at his internment service and it still gives me comfort to read it today
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Here's another one. I often send this verse for any sympathy card. I look for different ways to depict a quilt--quilt patterned paper, using a quilt pattern on the card front, etc. The verse is not my original idea. I cased it from a commercial card.
I am touched by all of the experiences and kind words that you have shared on this thread. I too have an angel that watches over me. My Son Timothy was stillborn one day past his due date. He would be turning eleven this August. I feel very special when my friends and family talk about him or remember his birthday.
I agree that cards that come later, even thinking of you cards are very important and special for the grieving parents. I found that at first you have many many people rallying around you and then when the shock of it all begins to diminish, you have less people around to talk to. I was fortunate to have friends that recognized this and continued to support me for a long long time.
It is hard to know what to say, but even just a phone call to the Mom to tell her that you're thinking of her is very special. I appreciated people who talked to me about Timothy and asked me what he looked like or how big he was (12.5 pounds , 24 inches long and absolutely beautiful, with full lips and a handsome cleft in his chin)
At Christmas time I hang angel bears on the tree (one for each year that I have missed him) to remind me that he is still with us in spirit.
This is a poem that I had read at his internment service and it still gives me comfort to read it today
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Thanks for posting this thread Jen.
Vicki
Vicki - I lost my husband of 30 years at an early age (49) and this was the verse I had on his memorial card. It is beautiful. This challenge has brought tears due to the subject but now I am really crying. - Just about to enter my card. Sniff, Sniff. I best get the second box of tissue.
The sentiment is an excerpt from a verse by Sandra L. Garman. This was the hardest card I have ever made. I certainly hope I never have to use it. This is an 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" card. The angel wings are covered with DD and outlined with gelly sparkle pen. The card really isn't as dark as it scans. Gallery at Splitcoaststampers
I was looking at the gallery for some sympathy cards ideas yesterday and today,because I need to make one for my next door neighbor,she just lost her 17 yr. old daughter,she suffered from deppresion for 4 years and on Thursday around 9:30 killed her self.We are all so sad and I can't still understand it! It's like so wierd,you doing this challenge,it's seems like it's for her.
That is so heart-breaking. I hope your neighbors will eventually heal enough to get through their days. It's hard to understand what they must be going through because life didn't have to end. Sending a little prayer to you as you help and comfort them.
I am touched by all of the experiences and kind words that you have shared on this thread. I too have an angel that watches over me. My Son Timothy was stillborn one day past his due date. He would be turning eleven this August. I feel very special when my friends and family talk about him or remember his birthday.
I agree that cards that come later, even thinking of you cards are very important and special for the grieving parents. I found that at first you have many many people rallying around you and then when the shock of it all begins to diminish, you have less people around to talk to. I was fortunate to have friends that recognized this and continued to support me for a long long time.
It is hard to know what to say, but even just a phone call to the Mom to tell her that you're thinking of her is very special. I appreciated people who talked to me about Timothy and asked me what he looked like or how big he was (12.5 pounds , 24 inches long and absolutely beautiful, with full lips and a handsome cleft in his chin)
At Christmas time I hang angel bears on the tree (one for each year that I have missed him) to remind me that he is still with us in spirit.
This is a poem that I had read at his internment service and it still gives me comfort to read it today
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Thanks for posting this thread Jen.
Vicki
Vicki, I am so sorry for your loss of Timothy. I can vividly remember Blake's adorable cheeks like it was yesterday even though it was 5 1/2 years ago. That is a lovely poem and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.
Jen this was such a touching challenge... I think all the cards turned out so lovely...so many beautiful sentiments and words of encouragement.
I made a simple one this morning.....
here's mine
__________________
there is a very fine line between"hobby" and "mental illness"
