For this ATC swap, I chose a Beauty and the Beast theme.
I named it...ahem..."Beastly Seduction".
No, wait...that's the title of the new book I'm reading. I'm sure that's a copyright violation. Let me try again.
How about "Beast Leaving Hairs on the Couch While Beauty Readies Her Fan to Discipline Him".
Oh, crud. NOW Iâm thinking thatâs the opening line of the aforementioned book. I guess I could check, but I donât feel like climbing under my bed to retrieve said book from the hollowed out part of my mattress, hidden behind the third slat from the headboard.
Not to mention it was a little on the wordy side, anyway.
Let me try one more time.
"Beauty and the Beast: You, Me and Hairs All OVER the Couchâ.
Oh, good Lord, people. Just make up a name and go get your own book and stop making me dance around here like an organ-grinder's monkey!
You know, that just brought back a VERY early childhood memory. When I was a child, I actually SAW an organ grinder and dancing monkey!
I was about 5-years-old. My parents had taken me to a local fair to temporarily distract from a new little brother, whoâd just arrived to usurp my place as ruler of house, home and all things âGrandparentâ.
Whoa! Sorry. Iâll get into that at a later date once Iâve worked it out in therapy.
As we left the fair, there was a man who had a large...well...organ...on a stick (I swear...this is NO double entendre...unless you want it to be... no judgement here, my friends) and he had a little monkey on a leash
The monkey was wearing a tiny cap and jacket and cavorted to the music. He also carried a little pewter cup. If you held out a coin, that precious little monkey would come take it from your hand, drop it in his cup, then tip his little cap to you.
I probably begged around ten bucks worth of quarters from my parents,s just to keep that monkey coming my way. And he did. He would turn his nose up at pennies and wouldn't take them. Nickels and dimes were ok, but if you held out a quarter, he was yours!!
Yeah, there was a sign that said "Do not touch the monkey". At least that's what my parent's said. And they kept saying it over and over. But I'd given him so many quarters that we'd bonded, right? He was doing tricks for ME that he wasn't doing for any other kid! He came to ME first when he emptied his little cup and came back for more!! Surely he couldn't possibly mind if I just reached out to gently touch him? Unlike the other stupid children around me, who would grab or try to hug, I-due to my superior animal understanding (as evidenced by our lightning-fast bonding...no amount of quarters in the world could've MADE that happen, right?) would settle for a comforting, feather-light pat.
(Read the rest HERE at your own risk...of busting a gut and, if you're the blushing type, watching a few million capillaries explode in your cheeks. Always have a reason as to why this might be happening to you if someone walks in. Never...EVER...say "Oh...It's just something I'm looking at on the internet. AAHHHRRRGGGGHHHH