Well, I have had to don my apron in response to this card, as you see see, I kin barley hang onto my britches! Now for a note about the most recent happenings in Jammer Town, as it relates to Stampin'.
Faux cleaning, is an acquired skill at best. However, it is a requirement for those who are blessed enough to live in Jammer Town.
Let's see...you will need a list of supplies-
1.Febreze, one can never have too much of this fine product. It ushers in the illusion of “clean” and heightens the sensory factors that make you believe the Stamp Castle is truly clean. If you run out of Febreze, for goodness sakes, keep a spare lil green tree, (auto refresher) as backup! Or, at least leave a candle burning somewhere, or put a nice roast in the crock pot. You know that smells good, and you have to cook an actual meal at least twice a week in order to have leftovers on the other Stampin' Days.
2.Swiffer, another gem of an item, because you can actually “clean” if you keep one of these lil beauties in your back jammer pocket and pretend to clean as you move from your paper stash to your coffee maker.
3.Leave a note on your vacuum in the hallway, saying the repairman has been called. That is good for at least two weeks, and you can mutter about what a slacker that guy is anyhow.
4.And if you have wood floors, and cats (and I do) here's is a priceless tip. Instead of using the Non-Stamper method of keeping these floors all shiny and new, get out that laser light, and get those cats haulin'! (You can do this from your stamp table....) Lol, when they chase the light, they always wipe out, a little, and voila, they take the dust with them! And, if your cats are not all that good at jumping, have visitors remove eye glasses, so the cob webs are not as visible. If you do not have dusting critters at home, you can always wear your big fuzzy bunny slippers and drag your feet between cards.
5.If all else fails, just tell people you are getting ready to have a yard sale, and oh-my-goodness, look at all the junk we are getting rid of!
Thanks for looking. Now stamp somethin' purdy!
Note: And, btw... it is perfectly “legal” in Jammer Town to have your sewing machine as a permanent fixture on your dining room table, and eat cereal or sandwiches for dinner (on the couch, of course!) SO there!
Date: Sunday, September 2, 2012 GMT Views: 2627
Favorited:5
Splitcoast Dirty Dozen Alumni My Pinkie is Inkie in Boxertown
Registered: April 4, 2006 Location: Boxertown USA, IL Posts: 67362
Sun, Sep 02, 2012 @ 9:22 PM
This is so cute. You gals are funny. Nowz if youn's have boxers, let them slobber a little, put some doggie paw fuzzy shoes on em' and throw the frisbee across the freshly slobbered floor. Works, marvelous. If n you don't have a frisbee, just use the neighbors sweet little kittie. JK.
Registered: February 21, 2007 Location: Bay City, MICHIGAN Posts: 17556
Sun, Sep 02, 2012 @ 10:12 PM
If I could catch my breath from all the laughing reading this post, I might be able to leave a comment - all I know is that between what you and Katie started, you have enough material to keep us going for a while, with everyone adding in some extra ideas to keep you fueled up. Delicate balancing act, my foot - we wanna STAMP!
With all the chuckling, giggling, snorting and guffaws going on out here, a real live Jammertown will soon find a home on a map, and then there will be a population explosion there, as we all converge on the spot - I SO WANNA LIVE IN JAMMERTOWN!!
Thanks to you two goofballs for all the chuckles!! LYMI!!
------------------------------ SUE aka GREENIE - Twisted Sistah Handmade cards because..No one displays an email on their mantle, or saves a FB post in a box of treasures! Nothing is impossible with God!
Registered: January 29, 2006 Location: Mount Forest,Ontario Canada Posts: 11633
Mon, Sep 03, 2012 @ 12:03 AM
Hey!! If you can get hubs to build you a new house, just put in neutral flooring (too light and the dark bits show; too dark and the light bits show) I don't have critters, and I don't do slippers for this reason: when more than 20 or so particles stick to the bottoms of my feet while walking over the clever camo floors, it's time to get out the mop. Hubs wears socks so he sweeps up a little with them and the bits don't stick as well as they do to my bare footies!! This card and write up would surely make a timely post in "The Book of Handy Household Tips" Love your crafting and your crafty humor dear sis;))))) You gots da whole package!!
------------------------------ Michele
My God shall supply all your need…Philippians 4:19
Splitcoast Dirty Dozen Alumni Proud Fan Club Member
Registered: June 19, 2010 Location: SC Posts: 6005
Mon, Sep 03, 2012 @ 12:12 AM
I leave for a couple of hours and this is what I come back to! Wonderful humor and great cards, Pat. LOVE the fun flock dimension on the slippers! If you're gona dress like Beaver Clever's mom at least give the rest of us a break and keep those slippers on {wink}. Bet there's a bag of sugar babies in that dolled up apron too - there always is *giggle* And by the way, if you find one on the floor there's a 3 day rule (not 3 minute rule) They're to good to waste. Just spit on em and wipe em off on Brenda's jammer bottoms!
Your card is precious but why isn't that lady in her jammers? Your list of faux cleaning routines are all wonderful. I especially love the note on the vacuum and I can so relate to the cats wiping out. Unfortunately...I only have carpet in all areas except kitchen and baths so they leave more hair balls around than picking up any on their wipe outs. I have four so that is one big load of hair balls. Here's another to add to your list. Buy a few get well cards leave them up on the mantle or entertainment center so if someone drops in you can tell them you have been ill. Bwahahahaha!!
Registered: November 14, 2009 Location: Cody, WY Posts: 3634
Tue, Sep 04, 2012 @ 12:27 PM
Very true, especially about the Febreeze and swiffers. Dont for get the Swiffer mop though. Makes it so easy and fast to do hardwood floors. I been to your house though and I know that would never pass if you had real visitors. Busted. LYMI!!
------------------------------ PROUD Fan Club Member
Registered: January 21, 2007 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba Posts: 5463
Tue, Sep 04, 2012 @ 12:31 PM
Thank you for the all the faux cleaning tips and supply list (and for brightening my day with this humourous post). What fun.
This card is a beauty...love the paper piecing and the bling on her necklace...........and of course the stitching;)
Oh you ladies are a hoot! Pat look at this girl with her faux cleaning. Wearing a dress and a shrug! I don't look that good when I dress up. Well I think you ought to get you one of them slobbering boxers to go with those cats! Thanks for the laughs girls. Super cute card by the way!
Registered: May 28, 2008 Location: Arnold, Missouri Posts: 15273
Wed, Sep 05, 2012 @ 5:38 AM
Oh, Pat, I have a lovely tip for those who do not have cats, but do have dogs, on point #4 above. As most dog owners know, they love to play tug of war. So gals, put on those fluffy slippers, let them get a hold, and start tugging. They will flatten out and you can pull and drag them all over the floor - LOL. As you can see it does require moving - so you get your cleaning and aerobics done all at once.
Pat, I adore your story and I especially love your card. It is so refreshing to see I am normal in the "jammer" world
------------------------------ "The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8