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I admit I will get a little irked if a friend/family/co-worker who has historically received hand made cards and not said a thing does something that I would consider 'toadish', I do immediately demote them onto my dollar store card list. :-)
And I do get some really ugly dollar store cards (on purpose). I have had a couple people then come up to me and asked if they had offended me in some way - because it dawns on them (sometimes subconsciously) they have received some pretty spectacular, nice, or cute cards historically and today they were the recipient of a card that is uglier/nastier than a dog's derri�re and subconsciously something clicks... just saying.;-)
And when I get a really ugly card I think to myself "I really need to shower that person with love." Either their life is so stressed that they had to put a stamp on something so ugly, or their mind is so scrambled that they think it's pretty...
Yea, a really ugly dollar store card tells everyone involved that something needs to be addressed here.
LMAO too. I didnt mean to sound saintly b/c it is well known I am far from it. I just am trying to de-stress my life.
What really bothers me is NO contact back. No card, no call, no email even. As said-cards in whatever format are a reaching out, a touching base...it would be nice if you could confirm you still are breathing.
Even more...if I send you a big box of stuff for your kids, email me and let me know it even arrived thank you very much. Esp if I email you to ask. Just a "got it" is fine with all the "stolen off the porch" package stories and oh yeah, that pesky thing-manners.
Sorry, got a little de-railed there for a minute.
I do send about half bought cards-I just in fact got them on post holiday sale for next year yesterday to stretch my dollars.
Now, I do make them all the same b/c what I dont want to be bothered with is the "hers was nicer than mine" stuff. I have cousins like that. If I was making all different or customizing them to you and I didnt hear back-that would make me unhappy. So I dont. I keep it simple.
I noticed this year I got a LOT less cards back and it makes me sad-I put them up in the entry hall to my home so it's like a "hug" every time I walk in. We've jumped over hearty handshake and sailed down to fist bump. Sigh.
I also know some people are getting older and cant handle it anymore. Plus a lot of seniors are stuggling financially-one sent me a xerox picture she wrote on. Counts with me.
I dont have a lot of sympathy for young people on this issue. Maybe their generation doesn't care about getting them? So it's on me to mention I noticed I didnt get one and see what happens. I'll probably get an email next year. :rolleyes:
But just this Christmas Eve, an old friend of the family who has known me since I was young, was over for dinner and told the other company that for years after their spouse died, my Christmas cards kept coming and maintaining the link between us. We never talked the rest the year, but the cards kept coming. Eventually we got together and have been pals again since. I just said I knew he was brokenhearted and needed space but this way he knew I was still there, waiting.
We have one friend who is preparing to finally retire at the end of the school year from being a classroom assistant. She's moving into a really small subsidized apartment, due to lack of funds. (She's worked until she's 76, because of having to afford rental costs). Since she will hardly need gifts to clutter up her newly smaller space, my plan is to gift her boxes of handmade cards that she can use for occasions. I think that's a great gift for financially strapped seniors. Nice cards are expensive, and this person appreciates the time & creativity put into hand made cards. And it's something she can really use.
it really irritates me when 2 of our 4 pastors wives dont even take
Quote:
Originally Posted by wavejumper
LMAO too. I didnt mean to sound saintly b/c it is well known I am far from it. I just am trying to de-stress my life.
What really bothers me is NO contact back. No card, no call, no email even. As said-cards in whatever format are a reaching out, a touching base...it would be nice if you could confirm you still are breathing.
Even more...if I send you a big box of stuff for your kids, email me and let me know it even arrived thank you very much. Esp if I email you to ask. Just a "got it" is fine with all the "stolen off the porch" package stories and oh yeah, that pesky thing-manners.
Sorry, got a little de-railed there for a minute.
I do send about half bought cards-I just in fact got them on post holiday sale for next year yesterday to stretch my dollars.
Now, I do make them all the same b/c what I dont want to be bothered with is the "hers was nicer than mine" stuff. I have cousins like that. If I was making all different or customizing them to you and I didnt hear back-that would make me unhappy. So I dont. I keep it simple.
I noticed this year I got a LOT less cards back and it makes me sad-I put them up in the entry hall to my home so it's like a "hug" every time I walk in. We've jumped over hearty handshake and sailed down to fist bump. Sigh.
I also know some people are getting older and cant handle it anymore. Plus a lot of seniors are stuggling financially-one sent me a xerox picture she wrote on. Counts with me.
I dont have a lot of sympathy for young people on this issue. Maybe their generation doesn't care about getting them? So it's on me to mention I noticed I didnt get one and see what happens. I'll probably get an email next year. :rolleyes:
But just this Christmas Eve, an old friend of the family who has known me since I was young, was over for dinner and told the other company that for years after their spouse died, my Christmas cards kept coming and maintaining the link between us. We never talked the rest the year, but the cards kept coming. Eventually we got together and have been pals again since. I just said I knew he was brokenhearted and needed space but this way he knew I was still there, waiting.
Time to acknowledge gifts! The two ladies in the office also have not acknowledged the gifts we gave them 2 weeks ago for Christmas. May stop doing the gift thing for them but would hate to do so.
My daughters are students at the school where I have taught for 25 years. Last year they had 7 female teachers between them. I made a card set for each of them that had 8 cards for different occasions. No two in each set were alike. I made the card container as well. I was very disappointed that none of them ever even acknowledged it at all. I didn't expect accolades or anything, but I thought that at least one of them would say something....anything. I spent hours and hours and not even a comment. I see most of these people every day and not even a word. I wonder whether they even sent them out.
Oh, and, I'm not the teacher that everyone hides from and tries to avoid! lol
My daughters are students at the school where I have taught for 25 years. Last year they had 7 female teachers between them. I made a card set for each of them that had 8 cards for different occasions. No two in each set were alike. I made the card container as well. I was very disappointed that none of them ever even acknowledged it at all. I didn't expect accolades or anything, but I thought that at least one of them would say something....anything. I spent hours and hours and not even a comment. I see most of these people every day and not even a word. I wonder whether they even sent them out.
Oh, and, I'm not the teacher that everyone hides from and tries to avoid! lol
Isn't it amazing? A few years ago, here on Splitcoast, I was in a secret sister swap. I got the mother of the hostess. I like to overdo things a little, and made her a tremendous package for the occasion. Things like a couple hundred stamped/embossed images, a couple hundred die cuts, well over twice the amount spent required for the swap, etc. The package was crammed full with things that she indicated she'd like. She never even posted that she received the package. (This was before swaps got tightened up and it became REQUIRED that you post when you got your package). I ended up PMing the hostess and asking if her mother had gotten the package. Oh, yes. She's just not online much. Really???
That experience is one of the reasons I don't do swaps much anymore.
I also don't give gifts to folks who don't acknowledge getting gifts. I'm not saying I'm holding out for a thank you note, just say thanks when you see me, or email me. I've dropped holiday goodies off at some neighbors, and NEVER heard so much as a word.
Manners are becoming a thing of the past, sadly. I do my best to say thank you for things, to say please, to be thoughtful of others. It's just disheartening to see the rampant erosion of courtesy nowadays.
I also don't give gifts to folks who don't acknowledge getting gifts. I'm not saying I'm holding out for a thank you note, just say thanks when you see me, or email me. I've dropped holiday goodies off at some neighbors, and NEVER heard so much as a word.
Manners are becoming a thing of the past, sadly. I do my best to say thank you for things, to say please, to be thoughtful of others. It's just disheartening to see the rampant erosion of courtesy nowadays.
This blows my mind. Anybody else remember their mother making them sit down and write thank you notes? Sure, we are less formal now but I don't think that means we should be less thoughtful and considerate.
In fact, when I get my butt in gear my winter secret swap-Santa will get a written thank you in addition to the PM I sent :-)
This reminds me of people who receive gifts less than graciously as well. I'm reminded of an old friend (now demoted on the gift list) needing to be asked if she got my gift, and then when I got the feeling that she wasn't too pleased, my comment "feel free to return it if you could use something else" was greeted with utter silence.
Anyone else remember their mothers making them practice a smiling face when they opened a gift? And coaching them on what to say if they opened it and were disappointed or bewildered? Or am I the only old here?! This came in handy when my grandmas would give us yet another set of underwear for Christmas (no doubt encouraged by my mother of 5 :p)
Geez. So rudeness lives and thrives. Sorry to hear it.
I am not terribly surprised by that big box mommy. HER mom asked me why I am so "uptight" about packages arriving. Really? If it wasnt for the little ones, that box would wink out of existence. I may yet get a thank you when the holidays are over. That has happened sometimes.
Sure I was raised with manners Poppy-I had to immediately say thank you. Then it was very common to say thank you again once I started using the thing or spent the money, with a report of what I got with it.
To this day I will say thank you more than once or express gratitude for gifts over time. Heck, give me a good gardening shovel you may never hear the end of it.
I had to overcome my training that said the only excuse for not saying thank you was being very ill. So for some years I would call people to see if they were ok, worried. That was awkward.
People are strangely (to me) surprised when DH and I say please and thank you to each other. Why would I not be polite to someone I love? "Doesnt it get tiring so many times a day, over the years?" No. I dont even think about it. It's automatic...like when I ask you for something. See how that works? ugh.
Mommyto3-do you think maybe they are concerned about favoritism? Esp since her mom is already a teacher? Was it signed from both of you or just your daughter? How did it arrive to them? In their mailbox or she handed it to them. I just am so surprised nothing has been said there and by two of them.
Contrapat-that story just wigs me out. Golly. If I were the daughter I would have said thank you as well for doing something so nice for my mom.
They signed their names, but all of my cards are stamped with my name on back. I'm sure they thanked my daughters at the time. I never pointed it out to them. I didn't do it for them to praise, even though it probably comes across that way. I've made baked goods before and left in the workrooms. People always acknowledge and thank me for that. I can't imagine it being a favoritism because I would think they would thank other parents when they see them. They had to know how much time and effort went into it. Oh well, I'm whining and sound like I wanted an award. Lol. I just couldn't believe that nothing was said at all by so many teachers that I see at work every day.
Oh well, I'm whining and sound like I wanted an award. Lol.
I don't think you are whining at all. Just because general society has extremely low expectations for common courtesy and polite behavior now (and seemingly zero consequences for thoughtless behavior) doesn't stop us from wishing that people were kind and thoughtful when we are kind and thoughtful to them.
Of course we give without expectations, ideally — but we are not the dysfunctional ones because we hope for a simple thanks or acknowledgment of the gesture!
I have been making my cards for a number of years. Which is apparent with the collection of Christmas stamps and other occasions! ;)
I try to make all of my cards. But, some people get a "less is more" type of card. This card would be one that I didn't take much time to make that design....with 10 done in no time. Those will go to people that I know will enjoy for the moment...but, will be "round filed" at the end of the holidays. I don't get upset.
To me....it's the process....the journey, so to speak. I do put more effort into the cards that I know will be kept. I've been told that they have kept everyone. This is rare...but, those people will get a special one when the time comes.
So....enjoy what you are doing!
__________________ **~Suzy~** *Life is about using the whole box of crayons* ** A sleeping cat is a good excuse to not make the bed **
I agree with Poppy. You are commiserating with people who get it. Plus one might hope for better from co-workers who have every opportunity to do it seeing you daily.
Find something else next year. Some inexpensive thing like a 2 buck purse size hand lotion If we go with Janet's ugly card theory...you can make them icky smells. lol
I pared my list down to 11 cards this year. I got 5, including business-related cards. I send cards to put a smile on peoples' faces when they see something in their mailbox other than bills or junk. It's nice when I get an acknowledgment (how long does it take to send a text?) but I don't expect it any more.
And yes, I remember sending thank you notes. Now I call the person, but I do acknowledge receipt of gifts.
__________________ Debbie "Make it work, people." - Tim Gunn My Gallery
I agree with Poppy. You are commiserating with people who get it. Plus one might hope for better from co-workers who have every opportunity to do it seeing you daily.
Find something else next year. Some inexpensive thing like a 2 buck purse size hand lotion If we go with Janet's ugly card theory...you can make them icky smells. lol
Aaawwww, now I feel bad. I wrote that for fun. I wrote a zen response higher up myself. (But it does work wonders without having to say a word.)
I would do the dollar store run for someone. Getting functional stuff, but nothing fancy or nice. Just functional.
I was reading a huge thread about office gift exchange parties on the 2peas forum and how people are so inconsiderate, they go out and get cheap dollar store stuff when the limit is $10 or $15, or they forget about the gift, or it's the fastest thing they could find at the check out stand, etc. People get really hurt over this stuff.
We have to remind ourselves to give and expect nothing in return. Hard to do. I have a little sign on the inside of my front door that says "do so with joy". Reminds me as I walk out that door to put the emphasis on the giving.
I guess I am very lucky that for most of the cards I send out, I almost always hear praise from the receiver. My neices (teenagers) even take pictures and post them on their facebook pages!
Some people are just jerks and either never learned or just don't care about thank you's.
I care and I do thank people, but it's a very awkward, uncomfortable thing for me to do. If I acknowledge a gift you gave me, I'm also acknowledging the fact that you were thinking of me and that makes me uncomfortable because it makes me the center of attention and I hate that (even if I really wasn't the absolute *center* of your attention, my brain still sets off attention alarms). If you are socially awkward like me, you'll understand that. If you aren't, that will make absolutely no sense to you at all!
Not to try to excuse poor behavior, because at some point in your life you have to get over your issues and be an adult, but for some of us (even some outgoing appearing people), saying thank you is difficult.
I care and I do thank people, but it's a very awkward, uncomfortable thing for me to do. If I acknowledge a gift you gave me, I'm also acknowledging the fact that you were thinking of me and that makes me uncomfortable because it makes me the center of attention and I hate that (even if I really wasn't the absolute *center* of your attention, my brain still sets off attention alarms.
Beth, you bring up a good point. The friend I mentioned, who received a gift less than graciously, definitely has issues with worthiness. She will say "I wish you hadn't spent the money" and "This must've taken a lot of effort to put together" and things like that. It's something about her deserving the attention, maybe.
So thinking about giving to people who struggle with attention, and imagining that they are actually enjoying the gift or art or card will help. ;)
I used to feel that way too. A friend once gave me a gift. When I protested, she said, "Can't you just accept that it is my joy to give this to you?" That opened my eyes. I love giving unexpected gifts to others and it never occurred to me that an ungracious acceptance diminishes the pleasure of the giver.
__________________ Debbie "Make it work, people." - Tim Gunn My Gallery
I used to feel that way too. A friend once gave me a gift. When I protested, she said, "Can't you just accept that it is my joy to give this to you?" That opened my eyes. I love giving unexpected gifts to others and it never occurred to me that an ungracious acceptance diminishes the pleasure of the giver.
Good thoughts. We all need to remember to "give the gift of appreciation"!
I have one special friend who is not crafty at all. Has never made anything in her life. But she is so appreciative and enthusiastic about handmade things! I love giving her gifts because of her wonderful reaction!
And the gals in my family are also very sweet and appreciative of what I make and give to them. I've already received thank you's in the mail from 2 daughters-in-law, written on the very notecards I made them as Christmas gifts!
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
We have one friend who is preparing to finally retire at the end of the school year from being a classroom assistant. She's moving into a really small subsidized apartment, due to lack of funds. (She's worked until she's 76, because of having to afford rental costs). Since she will hardly need gifts to clutter up her newly smaller space, my plan is to gift her boxes of handmade cards that she can use for occasions. I think that's a great gift for financially strapped seniors. Nice cards are expensive, and this person appreciates the time & creativity put into hand made cards. And it's something she can really use.
Love that. Chuck some stamps in as well .. if she is a bit low on money stamps would be handy so she can send your cards out.
__________________ Stop paint chip abuse. Act now!!
Won't somebody think of the paint chips?
I made my mailman —who drags heavy Amazon boxes to my porch nearly every other day — a Christmas card and enclosed a little bit of money so he could treat himself to lunch on me. Today I went out to the mailbox and he had written me a lovely thank you note :-)
JoBear, your bear ornament is beautiful! Maybe the others you gave them to thought they were Not handmade because your painting is so professional looking.
I enjoy being appreciated for my cards. I make about 20 or so usually monthly for the nursery workers and leaders at church, usually including a scripture and uplifting, encouraging sentiments. I ask the Lord for inspiration in the words and the artwork, so the ladies will be blessed. Almost all of them comment each time, and many have said they saved each one, and I've been doing it for at least 7 years! I did get a 'kick in the gut' one time, when I saw one in the trash shortly after giving it. I took it as if the young worker was saying 'this is stupid, and you're stupid for doing it.' That hindered my crafting for a time, but comments from other ladies drew me back into being a 'cheerful giver.'
I make Birthday and Christmas cards for all of them, and other friends and relatives. I often have no feedback from the second group, but I may see them sitting around their homes or stuck to the refrig.
I just hope that people know that when you send them any kind of card, or gift, you are showing love. Too bad if they choose not to respond to an act of love.
[QUOTE=Janet1000;21144223]Aaawwww, now I feel bad. I wrote that for fun. I wrote a zen response higher up myself. (But it does work wonders without having to say a word.)
Janet! That was tongue in cheek-I dont really mean that! I was trying to make her smile. Dont feel bad!
Aaawwww, now I feel bad. I wrote that for fun. I wrote a zen response higher up myself. (But it does work wonders without having to say a word.)
Janet! That was tongue in cheek-I dont really mean that! I was trying to make her smile. Dont feel bad!
OK. I don't want to be the measuring stick on meanness. Or used as an example of nasty - "you could always pull a Janet and hit her with a stick" kind of thing.:(
I like to make people laugh. I smile when I see ROFL, and it makes me happy when I hear people spew coffee when they read my posts. Yup, job well done.:lol:
Can I answer yes & no to this question? People who make it very obvious that they don't appreciate it and make nasty remarks or immediately toss it in the garbage because it is "homemade" - yes, that bothers me (and it is the last time they get anything handmade from me!). But no, I don't get particularly upset if I don't get a gushing response. I make them because I get the fun of making them. Once they leave my hands, then I've gifted them to someone else and what they do with it is up to them. I've also learned that sometimes the people who say little are sometimes the people who value them most. I've always given hand made cards to the colleagues I worked most closely with that particular year. I had one colleague for several years who never said anything. I was shocked when I went to leave the company to have them tell me they would miss my Christmas cards and that they had save every one I'd ever made and put them out on display every year. It was someone who I would have never expected. So sometimes just because they don't verbalize it, doesn't mean it isn't appreciated.
__________________ "You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag." Grumpy Cat
