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I had started a response yesterday but got side tracked. I sorry to hear you had to endure unpleasant company. I think feeling odd or a misfit is a universal feeling whether someone is crafty or not.
I have a few friends who really don't like the scrapbook look and would probably prefer the purchase the $1000 version to preserve their memories. And good on them. But they do like my handmade cards and have made several requests for them. On the other hand I once offered to do a memory book for someone close to the family as I knew they were open to having handmade and I was immediately dismissed and brushed off. Awkward. Embarrassed. And I admit somewhat angry. A polite no would have sufficed but I got a good slap of rudeness.
That was at a family event (21st) and I've been to a couple since. I have told my partner to give me a heads up when the next event is on the horizon as he'll have to accept my non attendance or I'll be conveniently on an OS holiday just at that time. All I end up doing is bringing the venom of hurt feelings home with me and spewing it out when I get home. Then I feel like my place is all soiled which makes me feel bad, and sad. (Now that I write this I realized I have not lived by the rule I have set down for everyone else with regards to not bringing other peoples c**p past the letterbox into my home.) Like you I don't know how to deal with people like that. I don't try to either.
I work in the construction industry, out with men 95% of the time and I rarely make a crafty connection with anyone. But some days in amongst those endless weeks I'll find a bloke who 'gets' it coz he's a little bit odd like me too. Being a carer can be quite isolating too. I make no apologies for the fact that most of my connections are online. I have real life stamping buddies but our meet ups are rare.
Anyways Jocelyn, you keep on being you and doing what you love, and keep being 'odd' cause there are plenty of oddballs around here who feel very comfortable having you around.
........ All I end up doing is bringing the venom of hurt feelings home with me and spewing it out when I get home. Then I feel like my place is all soiled which makes me feel bad, and sad. (Now that I write this I realized I have not lived by the rule I have set down for everyone else with regards to not bringing other peoples c**p past the letterbox into my home.) Like you I don't know how to deal with people like that. I don't try to either.
I work in the construction industry, out with men 95% of the time and I rarely make a crafty connection with anyone. But some days in amongst those endless weeks I'll find a bloke who 'gets' it coz he's a little bit odd like me too. Being a carer can be quite isolating too. I make no apologies for the fact that most of my connections are online. I have real life stamping buddies but our meet ups are rare.
Anyways Jocelyn, you keep on being you and doing what you love, and keep being 'odd' cause there are plenty of oddballs around here who feel very comfortable having you around.
I so agree with about the spewing it all out when you get home and how you feel about your home being "soiled". It's like I have brain-freeze when I am out somewhere and afterwards think "I should have said something or done this or ?....." and then get annoyed with myself that I didn't because I had just curled up like a caterpillar when I was upset. And then I am annoyed because I let it get to me - soiling my home like you said.
Being a Carer is very isolating. I love to care for my loved one and would move heaven and earth to do anything for them - but the anxiety that accompanies an illness never leaves and I often say to people that being a Carer is like running a full-time business. You have to be on the ball and organised - you plan ahead - you are always thinking about what you need to do next like getting a script for medicine because you will run out of meds next week - or the myriad of appointments that will continue for many years to come.
I will say that we were dealing with a shock diagnosis of cancer. Trouble is that once radiotherapy and chemotherapy are over, most family and friends move on with their busy lives (as they should) but you are still dealing with day-to-day issues and long term effects - you kind of become 'old news'. Crafting is my little escape from it all - and oh, how wonderful it was last year during turbulent and difficult times to just be able to be here on SCS when I couldn't craft, to look at pretty things in the gallery; to be inspired by new techniques; to be a part of the forums; and, to just be part of something creative: it kept me sane!
I am sorry that your were 'dismissed and talked over' it is rude and childish.
I am lucky in that I will pretty much talk to anyone, about anything lol! but I tend to get a feel for who I am talking to before I bring up my 'craftiness' as I have spoken about it before and the look of disbelief and disgust has stopped me in my tracks.
My opinion,'To each their own', basically my world is artistic, creative, inventive, thought provoking and a constant learning journey...yes I have the means to buy 'ready made' products, yes I drive a nice truck, have a nice house etc but that is not what gives me joy...true long lasting joy, is the conversation with my neighbour last week on how her two little boys still have their 'Good luck on your first day back at school' cards up in their bedrooms and she will put them in their memory boxes when I give them their Halloween ones . My husband the typical 'he man' sweat, mud, tools..has a card I made him on his bedside cabinet and another one in the lounge.
I guess what I am saying is, everyone has to find something to be passionate about, to bring Joy to their lives, otherwise the life journey will be a pretty soulless one.
HI,
I, too agree with all the other posters. And, unfortunately I understand how our crafting hobby can make us sort of an outsider to others. While I've had a large circle of friends, only 1 or 2 craft and now they're 500 miles from where I live. It is sad when you bring it up it's as if I must be pitied for my hobby....like "poor her". I recall meeting one person here who scraps and we were overjoyed to meet each other. Unfortunately, she works nights and is an empty nester, so our lifestyles are quite different. I've found that crafter enjoy a special friendship, even when it's someone you just meet at an event or online. It's a bonding thing I guess. So, it's not you, or us...it's the rest of the world that is short changing themselves.
Anyway, I really appreciate the SCS community for their kindness, creativity, inspiration, advice and support. I hope I can give back even half of what I get from these boards.
I too just took a look at your blog and your stuff is adorable! Totally my style!
Why thank you Kathy - that is so kind of you
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..........My opinion,'To each their own', basically my world is artistic, creative, inventive, thought provoking and a constant learning journey...yes I have the means to buy 'ready made' products, yes I drive a nice truck, have a nice house etc but that is not what gives me joy...true long lasting joy, is the conversation with my neighbour last week on how her two little boys still have their 'Good luck on your first day back at school' cards up in their bedrooms and she will put them in their memory boxes when I give them their Halloween ones . My husband the typical 'he man' sweat, mud, tools..has a card I made him on his bedside cabinet and another one in the lounge.
Yes, YES - that's what it's all about I truly believe that our crafting can do alot to bring people together and to start up a conversation. It gives people the opportunity to feel cared for, thought of, loved and supported. I always like to say that I put a little piece of my heart ♥ in every card that I make.
Yes, YES - that's what it's all about I truly believe that our crafting can do alot to bring people together and to start up a conversation. It gives people the opportunity to feel cared for, thought of, loved and supported. I always like to say that I put a little piece of my heart ♥ in every card that I make.
Your work is stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. Please do not let anyone rain on your parade. I wish I had a tenth of the talent you possess. Crafting does bring out the best in so many talented people. The community here on SCS is very supportive. To those who are unable to appreciate your work, it is their loss. Sending someone a handmade anything is like sending a gentle hug. I applaud you for making so many people happy with the creations you make.
I definitely feel a bit weird sometimes for loving to make cards. I'm the only one in my circle of friends who is crafty and sometimes they call me "Martha" (in a kindly teasing way) as I also love to cook, garden, and knit. But they, and my sisters and mother, all love to receive my cards and praise them so I feel okay about it most of the time. My father on the other hand said the other day that I should just come up with design for Christmas cards and then make colour photocopies of it to send out - he doesn't get it at all!
Jocelyn, I think those people were very insensitive and snobbish. I'd ignore them and carry on making your beautiful cards. It's about the pleasure we get from doing our craft that counts. And it's great having the support of SCS when we do feel like a bit of an outsider in our every day worlds.
__________________ Susan
My SCS gallery is here should you care to look! Or please visit my blog, Cardmaker's Garret.
Has anyone had a similar experience or feels like I do? What would you have done at the lunch? :(
I wouldn't call myself shy, but I am an introvert. I don't mean to sound conceited, but it's a complement to your ability to make an introvert feel at ease if I show up to your social event. Most of the time, I only go to events where I know most of the people, feel comfortable around them, and they don't bore me to tears. Sometimes I misjudge or I cannot avoid an event. That's usually when I get people snubbing me because they think I'm strange. I don't have a TV, I don't really go to the movies or watch them often on my computer, I loathe mindlessly materialistic people, up until recently I had not owned a car in 8 years and now we only have one for the family, I bicycle most places, I like to knit, crochet, and do paper and other crafts. Even my politics are off the wall. There are a lot of people in this world that I don't have much to say to.
It used to bother me a lot when I got the cold shoulder. Somewhere around 34 years of age (I'm 40), I began to increasingly not care about what these people thought or even if they behaved awkwardly and frostily with me. Fitting in began to feel like such a waste of time and energy - time I could be using to do crafts instead. My mom tells me that happened to her at the same age, so maybe it was an adult maturity growth spurt or something.
I try to find people to socialize with that I have something in common. If that isn't possible, well, at least my stepdaughters have artistic/crafty tendencies and they are intelligent conversationalists for their ages. I genuinely enjoy their company. It also helps that as an introvert, I'd rather be alone than around people I can only just tolerate.
That said, I remember how painful things like what happened to you were when I was younger. For what it's worth, you have my sympathy.
Jocelyn, are you sure we don't have some of the same family members? I have many interests and hobbies including quilting, scrapbooking, cards, rugs, and some sports too. One family member said to me "I wouldn't bother with any of that since I could buy anything I want." My reply was " and I would beat the quality by a longshot." Another one finds every single mistake and smudge in everything I've done. I've learned to avoid these people. There are too many good people to spend my time with.
I truly would be curious as to what they get for $1000 in a memory book. Sad that there would be no personal memos or real personalization yet cost so much money.
Thread-jacking (sort of) for a quick sec: The Parade magazine that came with today's newspaper featured a cover article of "Handmade in America" - people re-discovering the joy of handmade, and making money at it (most were on etsy). I thought it was pretty timely...
I'm still trying to work out what embellished wedding photographs are if they aren't scrapbooking... hand, digital, stamped, diecut, stickered, painted... it is still a scrapbook photo album. What a clueless, classless twit for that woman and her gaggle to think otherwise. I pity their "superior" stupidity.
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Originally Posted by stiz2003
Jocelyn, are you sure we don't have some of the same family members? I have many interests and hobbies including quilting, scrapbooking, cards, rugs, and some sports too. One family member said to me "I wouldn't bother with any of that since I could buy anything I want." My reply was " and I would beat the quality by a longshot." Another one finds every single mistake and smudge in everything I've done. I've learned to avoid these people. There are too many good people to spend my time with.
I truly would be curious as to what they get for $1000 in a memory book. Sad that there would be no personal memos or real personalization yet cost so much money.
LOL I would totally tell that person that I did it on purpose to keep her on her toes.
And I have to say I sort of hope you go to the next event because I'm curious as to what exactly this album is.
Probably to let you understand what they were talking about, they were talking about a "coffee table book" type of album, they made a published book and probably sent it to a publisher and graphic design team.
Overkill? Yes. Snooty, pretentious, and spent thousands of dollars on it? You bet. Could anyone do this with access to iPhoto and not spend that ton of money? Yes.
They could have politely explained what it is they were talking about and included you in on the conversation since you're a scrapbooker and may be not familiar with it, and been nice about it. Did they do that? No.
There's nothing wrong with you and they were just downright rude and elitist. <3
Oh I was pretty certain it is going to be some form of digital scrapbook. Would still love the OP to put them in their place and say her friends (the whole online community) have been doing digital scrapbooking for years. :twisted:
I've run into these kinds of people and I always ask if they have a hobby and most time they do not. I then ask what do you do with your time and most of the time it's watching TV, running after the kids, and work. I then ask, what do you do for yourself? What give you joy? The answer is usually silence. I then go on to explain how I'm a much happier, calmer person when I take care of my creative needs. I explain that there a so many fun things I can do, who has time for TV?
ITA! I have a friend who is continually amazed that I find time to try all sorts of crafty things. I recently told her my secret: I don't watch much television. She was shocked.
Your life is certainly much fuller and richer than those other women's.
Oh yes, rathercrafty, the coffee-book style of album sounds very much like they were talking about. And I am sure it was amazing - good for them. The person/company would have put alot of thought and care in producing it and tailoring it to their client - but it is still handmade in my humble opinion - but because it was PAID for, it is seen differently :confused: How timely, gregzgurl, about The Parade magazine! Wish we had it in Australia!
It's really sad that there are many of you who have had similar experiences or feel on the outer like me. That last experience was really just the final straw in a string of put-downs. Another put down was: "Hmpff! What makes you think you're creative?". Umm, I was tongue-tied at that one as is usually the case...sigh......I just wilted like a flower out of water :( I have tried to join in despite my acute shyness but I honestly feel that I have done my family duty and no more! I'm done. No, is such a powerful word don't you think? I actually feel like my stomach is in a knot even thinking about it and well, I have cards to make, felt to turn into Christmas ornaments and scrapbook pages to journal. It just took me 2 weeks to make a card because my spirit felt broken. Thank you everyone for your kindness in picking me up off the floor and nurturing me back to health - ♥♥♥ to all of you.
Wow here is a big ol cyber hug going out to you. How did you get through the evening with those snotty people?! Why people are like that is beyond me. Hold your head up high!!!!
JoBear- Big Hugs to you. Broke my heart to read it took you two weeks to create something because of what happened. I have been there too. It's not a good feeling. Good riddance to those toxic vampires in your life.
A couple of years ago for Christmas my DH & I bought a very fancy TV setup. We spent a lot of money on this TV and setting it up to perfection. I wanted my DH to have something incredibly luxurious since he is one of those men who spoils the ones he loves rotten. He will give his shirt off his back to anyone who needs it.
We never watch TV, lol. DH & I are huge gamer's. Our TV set up is mainly for gaming. We do have Netflix. Tomorrow we will finish watching Walking Dead.
I am not a great expert at craft but finally found something I can do in card making. Be proud of what you can do and try to forget those nasty people. Who are they to make you feel bad ?
I understand how you feel completely. It seems as though crafty people speak a language all their own. If I am in a craft store or at an Expo I feel as though I belong. I have friends but they do not craft. This makes me the person to fix things all the time. Sometimes it makes me feel used. It would be so nice to have a friend to get excited with when a new product comes out.
Oh, you broke my heart. Please dont let these rude people bring you down. I live in a senior apartment complex and spend a lot of time making cards (the folks who get them love them) and sewing. But then they ask me, don't you get bored? They tell me how bored they are with nothing to do. I never get bored. And you won't either.
To all the wonderful crafters, do you ever watch "Antiques Roadshow"? Well, I love to see an old handcrafted embroidered sampler bring $1000's of dollars. I believe our scrapbooks will be such items in the future. Handmade with love during a complete zen state. Keep crafting and try to find fellow crafters to share this time.
I agree with those who said that your relative should have said something to put you at your ease after that spiteful comment, Jocelyn. As she/he didn't, then you are quite within your rights to decline any further invitations from someone who doesn't appear to care for you.
As for the people who treated you that way: in England, we describe certain types of people as 'old money' and 'new money'. The lunch guests certainly sound like new money, as someone with breeding wouldn't have dreamed of saying what was said to you or to support that attitude.
Apart from a small Internet craft group to which I belong, I have few friends who craft: all the others know what I do, are happy to receive my cards and other items I send them and would never even think to belittle my efforts - any more than I would belittle my father-in-law's golfing ability or my neighbour's piano-playing. None of us needs people like those lunch guests in our circle.
I hope you will put this behind you, as an encounter with people who are mean in spirit, even if they're lavish with money.
Hello Jocelyn Thank you for sharing! There are so many of us who can relate to how you feel. Those looks are something I am sooo used to--even before I started crafting. But, I'm just an awkward one! Long story short, I developed a problem with alcohol to overcome my fears. It didn't help that I was around liquor all the time for my bartending jobs. Anyway, there were some major lifestyle changes for me--I had replaced my bad habits and started making cards in 2011. Now I am a SAHM, so I don't get much interaction with folks these days... Had to let go some of my old friends because they were triggers--so I feel lonely sometimes. Recently I joined a design team, and was afraid I might relapse because I had so much anxiety about being in a room full of people I didn't know and people I had admired in the industry. This was also my first time being with crafters (I have never been to a crop or class)... Luckily, everyone was so nice and polite and just accepting of me. It's like I finally felt like I fit in--I didn't have to be someone I'm not. Wish you didn't have to feel uncomfortable that day. I'm sending you a big hug girl! <3
__________________ Chris Gualazzi www.PaperPadThai.blogspot.com
What boors those people are. Just because they spent $1000 doesn't give them manners does it? Being a shy creature and feeling very insecure even in a small group, I probably would have left the room and gone somewhere to hide and have a cry. Talking around you was very inconsiderate and ill-mannered. I definitely would not visit those people again. I feel for you.
Jocelyn, I am sorry you went thru this bad experience, too. I agree with the others on SCS who posted to you. Hold your head high, do what you love doing, and be proud of yourself! I don't know who started the "family" guilt thing, but we could all do without it. People want you to do what is "expected" of you and not what you really want to do. Years ago I let go of this "expected" thing. I decided that my family members were not people I would actually pick to be around because of the way I felt when I was around them. So why go just because they were family? I have inner peace now that no one can take away. I feel much better and I'm sure they do too because they can all talk about me not being there. lol
I have tried many hobbies, but didn't have a passion for anything until I started making cards and scrapbooks! I don't watch much tv and don't even have a cell phone!! People are in shock when I tell them that. I don't have crafty friends, but you know I like my own company! Most days I am in my "studio", two rooms upstairs full of cardmaking supplies! My husband yells up to see if I'm ok, if I'm hungry, or need something to drink because when I'm making cards or scrapbook pages the rest of the world doesn't exist!
I'm a cardmaker and scrapbooker and proud of it! My taste might not be everybody's but it pleases me and that's all that counts!!! I have a lot of cards made that will probably be up in my craft room when I die. They will probably be thrown out, but I enjoyed making them while I was here! I've had a local shop put some of my cards in for sale and she finally asked me to remove them as they "didn't sell". At the time it did hurt, but now I think - her loss! You can only be hurt if you allow it. I refuse to allow people to do that to me anymore. I'm just as wonderful as they think they are! : )
I have visited your blog and I love your cards! They are beautiful!! And...your cat is cute, too! Hope you start doing what you want to do and not what everyone expects you to do so you can enjoy your life. After all you only have one.
I'm most definitely an outsider, even in my family, LOL! I have interest in and do a lot of things others I'm surrounded by cannot relate to and to top it off I am deaf so it really isolates me from social gatherings. I loved the suggestion of interacting with the family pets at gatherings! I do that, animals and I have a mutual understanding of each other.
I all I can really do is be the type of person that *I* would want to be friends with. In turn I am my own friend.
I rely on forums of like minded people for my social life, but even then things can get uncomfortable. Just be you and be happy to be you. <3
__________________ Shannon
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Nin
I am not a shy person. I like being around other people. I choose to keep my brain and my hands busy creating. I always find myself being quite proud of the fact that I don't have to look outside of myself to be entertained. I don't need to go anywhere...except to my crafting space. Yes, I do have some favorite TV shows I refuse to miss (Blacklist is this year's favorite!), but I take great pride in knowing that I am talented enough to multi-task!!! I can create a beautiful card and follow the story line of a TV show all at the same time...while also planning the menu for tomorrow, the schedule of family appointments, etc. Those who look down upon us crafters only do so because they cannot find these same talents within themselves.
My husband always referred to my Craft Room as "The Therapy Room". That is exactly what it is. When things get crazy that is where I go to recharge. I am more calm and better adjusted than many people I know. I do a card ministry and it means a lot to those who need encouragement. It also makes me feel good about myself. I do not need approval from those that do not understand. However, it is certainly more fun to be able to share a hobby with someone.
I am so sorry - I often feel the same. I too try to multitask as I feel just watching tv is such a waste. I used to do counted cross stitch for MANY years, but my eyes are having trouble with the linen squares. My girls want to scrapbook, so I thought I would try my hand at that and have been learning for two years. Used to do custom cake decorating for about 20 years too. Don't listen to people, they are shallow and do not explore their talents. I stay in my cave as much as possible and create and try to pass it on to my 4 "children" - keep on crafting! You are NOT alone!
Last edited by Eileen Kelly; 10-23-2013 at 05:08 PM..
Reason: more info to add
Ha! I'm still trying to figure out how to change my real name to a fake name like everyone else! Just spent 1/2 hour on that and gave up! So... in answer to your question, NO IDEA! But, would love to see your work and if you figure it out, let me know
If you already have the pictures then just scroll up to the left side of this page to upload a card. Your gallery technically exists and is empty waiting for you to upload. (If I remember correctly).
As for a name change that may involve contacting admin.
If you already have the pictures then just scroll up to the left side of this page to upload a card. Your gallery technically exists and is empty waiting for you to upload. (If I remember correctly).
As for a name change that may involve contacting admin.
I would have laughed at them. Paying thousands to decorate an album? But I can empathize. I often feel awkward in social situations. So sorry this happened. I never come up with the right comeback for rude people until way too late. Fortunately, people I know appreciate my talents though they don't realize the real value of what I make based on the time and money I spend on them. I've always felt awkward regarding other things unrelated to my talents. I'm often judged because of how I've chosen to parent my kids. Nothing bizarre mind you but different from people around me. I don't care what they think exactly but it still hurts to be judged, in my case by people I thought I knew well and were my friends and my own mom.
__________________ RebeccaEdnie Mixed Media Artist, Paper Crafter, Jewelry Designer SCSDirtyDozenAlumni Www.Boxofchocolatescrafts.Com YouNeverKnowWhatI’mGoingtoMake
To all the wonderful crafters, do you ever watch "Antiques Roadshow"? Well, I love to see an old handcrafted embroidered sampler bring $1000's of dollars. I believe our scrapbooks will be such items in the future. Handmade with love during a complete zen state. Keep crafting and try to find fellow crafters to share this time.
This is one of my favourite UK shows - although I think we are a couple of years behind on the episodes here in Australia! I totally agree about the scrapbooks - they will become treasured family heirlooms for generations to come. I believe that scrapbooking gives you an opportunity to put what is in your head or in your heart onto the page - whereas just a photo without any information about it, loses meaning or detail over the years. I have a large box of very old photos and I don't know who most of them are.
I am a little surprised at the number of fellow crafters who have felt the similar hurt and anguish at the hands of thoughtless and careless people. I don't take any comfort in knowing that I am in good company :( And it hurts more when relatives just seem to constantly delight in making you feel small or not worthy of anything - when you would think that they would encourage you. I just don't understand why people have to be nasty when they could just be nice instead :confused: It's a 'lose-lose' situation :(
I really loved what merollin said about not needing to look outside herself to be entertained because I am exactly like that. I find others just don't understand that about me at alland they think there is something wrong with me or that I am just plain weird; they tell me I am missing out LOL! Sure there are just a couple of select TV shows I watch but my hands are busy even when I do watch them.
And PaperPadThai,thank you for sharing you story. I felt so inspired to read how you have overcome enormous difficulties and challenges - and used your talents to be in a better place today. I think you are AMAZING!
Thanks to everyone for your support and encouraging comments
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