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I'm sorry to hear the people at the office and your MiL were insensitive to your efforts and your pride in your work. Regardless of what they think of handcrafted items, or any stereotypes they have about people who create them, the folks who received your gifts should have had the grace and common decency to be appreciative and thankful that someone would put time and effort into acknowledging them or their birthday.
However, you can only be responsible for how you behave. Those insensitive folks carry the responsibility for their actions, and if they chose to send you negativity, that is something that is their issue, and not yours. It is sad that they dismiss so much of the love and goodwill directed at them in life because it isn't appropriately manufactured and commodified for them.
If continuing to make cards for your MiL doesn't bring you any enjoyment, then I agree that sending her an e-card, mailing her cards from the dollar store, sending her blank generic cards with a birthday wish written inside (between my husband and I we have a box of these kinds of cards!), or giving her a phone call on her birthday is a good idea. Choose whichever option that doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.
If thinking about her at all is unpleasant, maybe try stepping back and think of her and her unfortunate attitude in broader terms. If your mother had this attitude, wouldn't you feel bad for her and want people to turn the other cheek a little bit on her behalf? It's okay that your MiL is rude to you and you are still nice to her; it doesn't make you less of a person.
As with all free advice, feel free to disregard it! I have done a lot of thinking on this issue because my MiL tends to drive me up the freaking wall. In the worst light, she can come across as greedy, selfish, spoiled, and self-centred. I had to do a lot of thinking and praying before I could finally let go of my judgements of these traits enough to let her issues affect her only. Before I did that, I was hurting my husband and risking interfering with his relationship with his family, which are the last things I want to do to him.
The first year I sent out hand made Christmas cards, my MIL asked where her card from my DH was. I asked if she receieved the card I had made and she commented that she had received it , but thought maybe it was a mistake or something was wrong. I asked what she meant and she said she is accustomed to getting a pretty hallmark card from her son each year at Christmas like she sent to us. I apologized to her for her feelings being hurt and then passed the phone off to DH. Later that night I told him that her Christmas, birthday, mother's day etc cards and gifts where his problem and not mine anymore. I was sooo hurt.
Funny, DH got the opportunity a year ago, to give her a plug for my handmade cards! I made all the invites for his retirement ceremony (from the US Navy). I had sent her one as a courtesy, knowing she would be unable to attend. Not realizing I had made them, she went on and on to DH about the lovely "engraved" invitations we had sent out and how ever could we have afforded to have such lovely custom work done? :twisted: That's when DH piped up that I had made them and that I ENJOY making cards and gifts and that her comments to me 2 years earlier were very hurtful.
In the end: MIL now appreciates my efforts and looks forward to cards I send her. HOWEVER, my DH still has to get his rear-end over to Hallmark and get his OWN MOTHER a "pretty" card and send it to her for Bithday and Christmas (this is MY decision since it is HIS mother) I think in the end, I won.
I have been hearing the "You've got too much time on your hands" comments since I started scrapbooking (long before the stamping bug hit!) Now, I just say, "No, I don't. It's just a priority to me. I'd rather do it than watch television, and so I do!" That usually shuts them up, because most people then realize how much time they WASTE sitting around watching television!!
I have been hearing the "You've got too much time on your hands" comments since I started scrapbooking (long before the stamping bug hit!) Now, I just say, "No, I don't. It's just a priority to me. I'd rather do it than watch television, and so I do!" That usually shuts them up, because most people then realize how much time they WASTE sitting around watching television!!
I'm trying to thiink of a recruiting statement... "This is MY job, wouldn't you like to have this much fun at yours?"
I don't know.
My MIL is the same way. OH well, I keep giving her homemade cards. And I think she appreciated them a little more now. Also, her friends do see them sitting on her mantle.
I have been hearing, "You have too much time on your hands" or "I just don't have the time to do that!" since I started scrapbooking years ago (pre-stamping.) My response now is, "No, I don't have much time, either. But, I'd rather be doing this than watching tv, so I do!" That usually shuts 'em up, because most people realize just how much time THEY waste watching tv!!
Erin in Okc
Seven days without stamping makes one weak!!
I make things for the folks that I used to work with and they often say 'you have too much time on your hands' followed by 'I'm jealous, I wish I had the time'. Perhaps the ladies that work with your husband just didn't finish the thought - or maybe they are just truly thoughtless. Either way, don't let these uncaring comments keep you from enjoying what you do with your stamping. Find another outlet for your creativity that will appreciate it. I send cards to all of the shut-in/nursing home members of our church. Not only does it brighten their day, but their relatives appreciate it too.
I to am so sorry to hear someone treated your love of stamping and your heartfelt handmade items. I to have also gotten, WOW! you have way to much time comment, and I am like NO I DONT, I work full time, full time mom, wife, bill payer, cook, maid ARGGGGHHH. Ditto on the blood boiling. IT just started. As long as you are passionate, and you love what you do, no one should ruin that for you. AS far as MIL, well MIL are notorious for stupid comments, mine never appreciated anything handmade I did, until one christmas she got a 40 page scrapbook full of her "angel" (grandson) and from that point on she always compliments me.
So poo on the girls and you MIL, keep up the good work and just know the rest of us appreciate you!
Are these people idiots to not realize that taking the time to make something should show them that you LIKE them? Duh? A trained monkey could pick out a card at the local stationary store! I'm never good at coming up with good zingers to tell people that make rude comments. But maybe something like "I enjoy showing people I care about them by giving them something I've made and put my heart into. I'm so sorry you can't appreciate that."
I felt so bad this week. I missed my brother's birthday. Didn't remember until the day of. :oops: So I sent him an e-card. It was one that really fit him very well. (It had something to do with the birthday song and passing gas! Need I say more?) My mom called me later to say that when she spoke to him, he way saying how he hadn't gotten my card yet. He looks forward to them and has saved every one I've ever made! Can you imagine how fast I ran to my stamp room to whip up a masterpiece? But it's nice to know a guy appreciates the hand stamped gifts!
I agree that these people should be marked off the handmade gift/card list. There's no point in making something for people who never will appreciate it. I don't really expect people to keep my cards for very long, but I love hearing when they do. My SIL saves them and uses them in her scrapbooks.
I actually had a similar experience with my DH (who really should know better by now!). We always exchange cards at Christmas, and he really takes a lot of time picking out a very special card from Hallmark and writing a special message inside. Since I've started stamping, I've made all my cards for him (even more special in my mind), but this year I just didn't have time and used a store bought card that I had stuck away. Anyway, he made a comment about how special it was that I actually went out and bought him a card this year. He really got an earful for that one!
The very first card I ever made was for a girlfriend's daughter's 1st birthday. It was simple but very pretty. When my friend opened up the envelope she said "Oh, a homemade card" and put my card to the side.
Needless to say, she hasn't gotten a card from me since!
I've been hearing, "You've got too much time on your hands," and "I just don't have time for that," since I began scrapbooking years ago. My response now is, "I don't have much time either, but I'd rather scrapbook than watch tv, so that's what I do!" That usually shuts 'em up, because most people then realize how much time THEY waste watching tv!!
Erin in Okc
Seven days without stamping makes one weak!
Unless someone is a stamper, I don't think they can really appreciate the creativity and joy you put into your projects. I think that is why we all love to get those comments on our cards in the gallery, here ,from people who really do appreciate them and understand how much fun they are to make. Don't let them get to you... post your cards here and we will appreciate them!
I get only positives( at least to my face) about my cards. I never write in them so they can use the card also. I do give my not so perfect cards to the people that I know don't appreciate them.
__________________ Kristi
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
After reading these various "rude" reactions my first thought was that these people have no class, no culture and no manners and probably do not own a single piece of real art and yes I think most of the cards and gifts I have seen on this site ARE art! So the fault is not in you or your gifts, but in the recipients!! I am so lucky, my co-workers love my cards and love getting them as gifts. BUT this is the exact reason my sister can not get into card making. She loves to make things, but can not bring herself to spend time on a card that may be tossed into the trash. I do not think this should stop you from making and giving hand made cards and gifts as I know for a fact that many a store bought gift gets given away or even tossed (there are lots of really bad gifts out there!) and it is not up to the giver to say what happens to a gift. So keep making what you want to make, ignore the people who make rude comments (they do not deserve a gift from you anyway), and concentrate on the people who appreciate what you do.
I know the feeling! Last Christmas for 3 of my son's teachers I made a stack of 10 different cards with coordinating envelopes. To go with the theme of "everything you need to send a card" I also included a packet of 10 postage stamps and an ink pen. I tied them up with a nice ribbon, wrapped it in tissue paper and put them in a decorative holiday box. I was shocked when only 1 of the 3 teachers sent me a thank you card. I nor either of my sons were ever acknowledged for the gift. I know some people don't like homemade items and/or have differents styles and taste but I would have thought a simple thank you, be it in writing or verbal, was in order regardless if they liked the gift or not.
__________________ Susan
________________________________________
If I can't be a good example -- then I'll just have to be a horrible warning!
Wow, I feel bad for you! That was so ignorant of your co-workers. My MIL in an ignorant thing too, and now when I have family dinners, I make favors for everyone but her. What I do is I pack up the favors in bags of take home leftovers so she doesn't see them. She did it when she took the "treat" out of the lovingly stamped and put together Christmas Sleigh I made last year, and crumbled up the Sleigh and threw it on the table. I didn't say a word to her, I just looked at one of my 4 children and said "Now Angela, make sure you don't ruin your little sleigh mommy made you!" and walked away.
She is really the only one who has ever offended me so far! I am sorry you got hurt by that comment. You should have said, I really don't have alot of time on my hands, I just use what little time I DO have to make nice things for unappreciative people like you! Turn around and walk away! Michelle
Location: The thin line between genius and insanity
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Buy the ugliest, cheapest cards you can find on closeout. Oops was that rude? My bad :twisted: How about just re-carding then? When she sends you a card (if she ever does that is...don't you find the people who make the rude comments are also the people who don't reciprocate in kind) anyway, use white out or a sticker or something to cover up the original signature and then sign it yourself. If she has the gaul to say something THIS time, just say you knew she must have liked it quite well since she sent it to you and you wanted to be sure she received a card she liked.
Too snarky Miss M?
__________________
It's not fair. Life was never this hard for Barbie & Ken
-unknown
I was re-reading this thread....it looks like mine *just* posted, but I really did respond about 4 hours ago! I'm sure the delay has to do with the upgrade...I'm really not "stalking" the topic...
As for homemade items: Everyone is right. If it's not appreciated, then don't to through the trouble. tTere is no need to criticize a homemade gift...EVER! Goodness, it's not like they rip open clothing and complaing that it's Gap instead of RL! Why should our homemade gifts be any different?
I used to make homemade beef jerky every year at Christmas. I crammed about 1.5 lb. into each Ball jar, vacuum seal the jar, stamp tags, make cute toppers for the jar. People would complain about me being *stingy* with the jerky because I only gave one jar to each family! Because there were six different "families" it would cost me about $400 to yield 10 lbs of jerky. (Cost of the beef, the seasonings, the liquids, etc.) And it would take **DAYS* to do - I would start with roughly 50 lbs of roasts. Then everyone got homemade caramel corn...but they complained there wasn't enough of that, either. I'm glad they liked what I made enough to feel "cheated" that there wasn't more. But at the same time, I figure: if they want to compliment me, then fine, do so directly. Otherwise, I've given you a gift I take pride in that I'm talented at that came from my heart...and your thank you is to pee on it? So now? *NO MORE*.
Some people don't deserve what we have to offer. Thank goodness we have each other and the RAK system. That way, we *know* that there is always someone, somewhere, who will burst into a huge smile when they get something we've sent them. Even though we may not be there to see it, it still makes us happy to do it. ~ K
__________________ Hi...My Name is Kaylyn...I'm An Alphaholic.
[B]
At least those are people that don't know better :( , I have sent RAKs to people from this site and never heard a pip from them :shock: , I am good at getting some constructive criticism (can't spell it right) but to be ignore all together is rude :oops: . On the other hand my family loves to get my cards and when I forget someone's birthday they make sure to let me know that they missed my card. I stamp because it my stress reliever not to accomodate picky people, not appreciating it is their lost
At least those are people that don't know better :( , I have sent RAKs to people from this site and never heard a pip from them :shock: , I am good at getting some constructive criticism (can't spell it right) but to be ignore all together is rude :oops: . On the other hand my family loves to get my cards and when I forget someone's birthday they make sure to let me know that they missed my card. I stamp because it my stress reliever not to accomodate picky people, not appreciating it is their lost
at least those are people that don't know better :( I have sent RAKs to people from this site and never heard a pip from some of them :shock: I am good at getting some constructive criticism(can't spell it right) but to be ignore all together is rude :oops: On the other hand my family love to get my cards and when I forget someone's birthday they let me knoe that they missed my card. I stamp because it's my stress reliever not to accomodate picky people, not appreciating it, it's their lost
at least those are people that don't know better :( I have sent RAKs to people from this site and never heard a pip from some of them :shock: I am good at getting some constructive criticism(can't spell it right) but to be ignore all together is rude :oops: On the other hand my family love to get my cards and when I forget someone's birthday they let me know that they missed my card. I stamp because it's my stress reliever not to accomodate picky people, not appreciating it, it's their lost
at least those are people that don't know better :( I have sent RAKs to people from this site and never heard a pip from some of them :shock: I am good at getting some constructive criticism(can't spell it right) but to be ignore all together is rude :oops: On the other hand my family love to get my cards and when I forget someone's birthday they let me know that they missed my card. I stamp because it's my stress reliever not to accomodate picky people, not appreciating it, it's their lost
After reading these various "rude" reactions my first thought was that these people have no class, no culture and no manners and probably do not own a single piece of real art and yes I think most of the cards and gifts I have seen on this site ARE art! So the fault is not in you or your gifts, but in the recipients!! I am so lucky, my co-workers love my cards and love getting them as gifts. BUT this is the exact reason my sister can not get into card making. She loves to make things, but can not bring herself to spend time on a card that may be tossed into the trash. I do not think this should stop you from making and giving hand made cards and gifts as I know for a fact that many a store bought gift gets given away or even tossed (there are lots of really bad gifts out there!) and it is not up to the giver to say what happens to a gift. So keep making what you want to make, ignore the people who make rude comments (they do not deserve a gift from you anyway), and concentrate on the people who appreciate what you do.
After reading these various "rude" reactions my first thought was that these people have no class, no culture and no manners and probably do not own a single piece of real art and yes I think most of the cards and gifts I have seen on this site ARE art! So the fault is not in you or your gifts, but in the recipients!! I am so lucky, my co-workers love my cards and love getting them as gifts. BUT this is the exact reason my sister can not get into card making. She loves to make things, but can not bring herself to spend time on a card that may be tossed into the trash. I do not think this should stop you from making and giving hand made cards and gifts as I know for a fact that many a store bought gift gets given away or even tossed (there are lots of really bad gifts out there!) and it is not up to the giver to say what happens to a gift. So keep making what you want to make, ignore the people who make rude comments (they do not deserve a gift from you anyway), and concentrate on the people who appreciate what you do.
I am flabergasted by some of these stories. I feel for all of you!
Thankfully, I have not received too many comments ~ bad ones, anyways ~ because I am super sensitive and I probably would have cried myself out of SU! business by now.
Fortunately, I have many relatives & friends who truly appreciate the work (art, as my mom calls it) that I do.
One always tells me she is amazed at how much time it must have taken to create the cards I show her. THAT is a great feeling. Recognizing the time is the key to a great card-maker's compliment!
My SIL keeps my cards on her fridge & makes sure to tell me all the comments that her family makes to her about them. It is nice & really awesome.
My aunt just turned 60 and a surprise party was thrown for her. I made the invites (lots of nice comments) but the best was that my cousin took that card to the cake place & had them make the top of the cake decorated the same way as the card front! What an honor.
To CHILLIN ~ I would have had to have been taken out of that room before fists flew if I had heard my DH's aunt (or anybody!) make that comment about financial blah-blah! Thankfully, I have given cards as gifts (thank yous for weddings, birthdays) and they are so thrilled! My aunt opened her present from me in front of me at the party so I could see her reaction. As soon as she saw what it was, she said she had so hoped that I would do that for her.
Break my heart for you, Chillin & anyone who has heard mean comments about "home-made" cards. May God bless your work and your hearts & KEEP ON STAMPIN!
TIFFANY
PS ~ Thanks for letting me ramble here. I am still in awe!
I have been making home made gifts for years.
I found out that for some of my family and friends they apperciated them. Others just don't get it.
I love anything home made.
Hey send some of your work my way!!!!!!
I will love it I promise
I have been making home made gifts for years.
I found out that for some of my family and friends they apperciated them. Others just don't get it.
I love anything home made.
Hey send some of your work my way!!!!!!
I will love it I promise
I think the larger picture is -- when someone gives you a gift, whether homemade or store-bought or found-on-the-street-corner), you are supposed to say 'Thank you.'
It's just manners. Criticizing a gift or the giver is BAD manners. You can have your opinion about the gift -- I've certainly gotten things I don't really like -- but there's no need to express it out loud. Think of it this way -- we were raised better than that.
We really need more good manners in the world. Try not to be down about it. But don't waste your gifts and efforts on people who don't appreciate it. Save it for those who do. (I can send you my address, for example ).
I once made cookies and candy for some friends at Xmas time, boxed them up and sent them across the country to be told, "There wasn't very many in the box. You should have sent more." I GUESS that was kind of a compliment, but I made sure to never cause that problem again by sending NONE from now on.
Location: dreamin' of summer and the beach land...
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Many times people don't have a clue the effort we put inot our cards--although that is no excuse for rudeness. When i give a crad to someone, I think of it as a gift, so I stop "owning" it the moment it leaves my hands, and it's someone else's to do with as they please. I try not to think what happens to my creations--I don't want it to get personal!
__________________ Diana--so many stamps, so little time!
some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you!
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Many times people don't have a clue the effort we put into our cards--although that is no excuse for rudeness. When i give a card to someone, I think of it as a gift, so I stop "owning" it the moment it leaves my hands, and it's someone else's to do with as they please. I try not to think what happens to my creations--I don't want it to get personal!
__________________ Diana--so many stamps, so little time!
some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you!
I've not had any rude comments. Here's a funny for you. For my mother-in-law's Christmas gift, I gave her a bundle of notecards to use. She's a thrifty woman and loved that she didn't have to pay $3 for a card for people. She later sent me one of the cards as a thank you for a birthday gift and I cut off the front, glued it on another card and reused it! Guess we know who the really thrifty one is!
I think the ones that make the 'too much time on your hands' are trying to say in a backward, slap in your face way that if you have free time you should be cleaning more or cooking more or something domestic more. I sometimes feel guilty when I have a couple hours on my hands and the vacuuming needs to be done but I want to stamp. I can bet that the people who have the audacity to say that, to your face or not, don't have hobbies. And take a little solace in the fact that your are probably a happier person and will therefore live a longer, happier life as a result.
This seems to also be a female affliction. Women are catty, or tend to be. Most guys would back down if you told them that a comment like that hurt. And I'm sure they 'waste' time on stuff that is equally as unimportant but look at it this way, you've spread joy to someone else - not them - with your free time.
SEND HER SOME DOLLAR STORE TOILET PAPER! 
