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I have never been so challenged in making a card as I have been today.
It is a sympathy card to send to friends who have lost their 6 year old granddaughter in a tragic golf cart accident.
I don't know if the making or the writing is harder...they both make my heart ache.
After spending most of the morning figuring out what to do I finally decided to make it more of a happy card then a somber card but not over the top. I chose soft pink and white with a touch of gold.
I'm curious what you all have done in a similar situation. Hopefully there haven't been too many you to have had to deal with this.
So sad, Sometimes lightning strikes out of the blue. I've never had to make a card for a lost child. I like the colors you chose and think you did well.
__________________ Bugga in OK
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Dalai Lama
We lost our granddaughter last March, to a DIPG tumor. We appreciated the following words: Thinking of you; sending our thoughts and prayers; so very sorry; deepest sympathy. We did not appreciate being told:time will heal; we know how you feel (unless you have experienced the same loss);everything happens for a reason. My advice is a simple Sincerest Sympathy and a short, simple "so very sorry for the loss of your beloved granddaughter. Our thoughts and prayers are with you" A very simple pretty card is appropriate, we found it was more the words and not the design of the card itself that meant the most. (if that makes sense). She is forever four and always in my heart.
Last edited by lynkim; 01-25-2016 at 02:58 PM..
Reason: added to paragraph
Tragic... Death is always difficult for those left behind, but especially when a child is gone. I cannot even wrap my head around how I would deal if something happened to one of my grandchildren. I am so, so sorry to hear that you, lynkim, have had to go through what has to be a devastating experience, and that you, Teresa, are in the circle of those dealing with such a thing. I think the thought that you've put into your card will come through to the recipients...
__________________ ~ Sue Happy for no reason...
Last edited by gregzgurl; 01-25-2016 at 03:42 PM..
Reason: clarification
Sad post but a co-worker and friend has just lost her 2 year old granddaughter and I am trying to wrap my head around how to make a card with the right words. Thank you Lynkim for your experience. I cannot imaging the pain the family is going through. I have a 2 year grandson - we would be devastated if anything happen to him or his siblings
__________________ 2 cats short of the Crazy Cat Lady (5 Ragdolls RIP Katie DSH, RIP little Merlot Flame Ragdoll & Sunna Torbie Ragdoll- we miss you! Damn FIP) http://rebecca-rebeccasemptynest.blogspot.com/
I used to make remembrance cards for parents of deceased babies, for a charity that helped support grieving families. This was so long ago it was before the days of die-cutting or embossing folders.
The inside was blank, so that doesn't help answer the ? of what to write. I made them in subtle pink or blue tones with a hand-embossed rocking horse, and usually trimmed it with rick-rack. Low-key prints on the paper. Hope this helps.
If the recipient is a friend, I would offer my friendship and support. Too often I see people write that friends deserted them in times of need because they were "uncomfortable" or did not know what to say.
If the recipient is a friend, I would offer my friendship and support. Too often I see people write that friends deserted them in times of need because they were "uncomfortable" or did not know what to say.
We lost our 19 year old son 28 years ago and it still hurts. We found that a lot of "friends" couldn't handle even talking to us. Family was and still is there for us. Back to the card saying, make it simple as others said is the best. I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my first child many years ago and became involved in a group who did lay counseling with families suffering a similar loss. The subject of cards came up and the consensus opinion was "simpler is better." One of us found a card that simple said on the inside "Your sadness is shared." You are sharing an emotion so the less there is to read, the better.
My heart is broken reading this. No one should outlive their children, and certainly not GKs.
If you know the family/child and can supply a nice memory, I might put that in...."We will miss her smiling face and share your deep sorrow" and leave it there.
It kind of depends on if you are going to be going to the funeral/wake. If I was, I might leave any little rememberance story for that. If I wasnt, I might put it in the card. But I would be careful with that...nothing that speaks to the lost promise of the child.."She was a great dancer/would have been a great doctor, etc" kind of thing but more like "she cracked me up one day when she said/did this" or "she was so nice-she did X for me one time and I was very grateful" or "she was very nice to my kid/gk in school"-something very positive about who the child was now.
Infants of course...there is nothing to say really.
If you dont know the family, then I would just say something to the point...
"This is a terrible loss. We send our deepest sympathies".
I think all of the sympathy sentiments I would have thought up are already here. One thing you might think about tho is what you can do for their family to help. We often tell people that we are happy to help, 'if I can do anything let me know' but they dont often take you up on that. Maybe they don't even realize what they need. There are good articles online like this one (I just chose this from Pinterest. I couldn't find the link to the excellent one I pinned. What category does this fit in anyway...) https://www.pinterest.com/pin/156359418291320079/
Try googling or searching Pinterest for 'help grieving family/friend'
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and heartfelt advice. I have learned a lot from all of you and appreciate you taking the time to post. I have written down your suggestions to repurpose again in the event I have to.
Hugs to all who shared your loss with us. In MaKaren's words... Your sadness is shared.
I've always believed that sympathy cards crated in advance are actually 'easier' to create and easier to send upon hearing of someone's passing, etc.
When thinking about creating these cards, I try to think of:
simple designs
uncomplicated
soft color rather than dark/bold
lots of neutral space
I like to keep a go-to scripture stamp for those I know will be appreciate by Christians in grief, but may also create a couple of cards without that stamp for sending to someone whose preferences are not as well known to me. For those, I rely on statements such as 'Thinking of you", Keeping you in my thoughts, I'm here for you, etc. Many times, I elect to write those statements below a simply stamped sentiment on the inside.
None of us can possibly understand the depth of someone's personal loss. Our sympathy cards are created with the quiet goal of letting the family know that we care, and that we acknowledge their profound loss. The recipients truly do not care to read advice or suggestions, no matter how well-intended those might be.
Many times in the past I have sent at least 2 sympathy cards. One goes out right away to let the recipient know how sorry I am for their loss and let them know they are on my mind and in my heart. Then a few weeks to a month later, I send another card to let them know I am there for them as most of the family and friends have gone back to their own lives. If I live close, I let them know I'm coming over with lunch to just chat, fold laundry, paint their nails, or whatever. Recently, my niece lost her 22 year old son when he was hit by a metro on the street. I have been sending her a note every month on the date he was killed to let her know I am still thinking about her. She lives too far away for me to visit, but I will call her again soon, so we can just talk about whatever she wants. I can't imagine loosing a child at any age, and words just don't suffice. Just letting them know how sorry you are and that you are thinking about them is the most important.
Sympathy card for child: What do you do?
