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I agree we are blessings, but being 'unclaimed' makes it seem like we are all still waiting for someone to claim us. Many who are single would liike to get married someday and if that viewpoint helps, great!! But I feel we are already blessings to the people in our lives. Whether I marry or not, have children or not, the lives of my parents and brothers, etc would have been a lot different had I not been born. And that goes for all of us!
It's really just meant as a humourous way to put a spin on things. I always chuckle when I say it. No one who's ever heard me say it thought I was being serious, but I know it's not really easy to communicate tone of voice through writing. I don't look at myself as being unclaimed really - God claimed me before I was born, and my family and friends love me dearly. So I don't actually look at myself as unclaimed - as I said, it's just a way I try to put a humourous spin on things. :mrgreen: I didn't mean to cause any misunderstanding here or for anyone to take it as anything other than humourous. As I said, though, it is hard to portray tone of voice through writing. ;)
__________________ Michelle
�If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. I've read the last page in the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right." - Billy Graham
Ah yes....that's what it all boils down to, isn't it? Being patient and waiting on God's timing, not ours. Sometimes it's hard -- but I can tell you -- I FOR ONE would much rather be single than married to the man I was engaged to last year. LOL!!!
Me, too. There's a man who I was close to marrying once but I'm so very thankful that didn't work out!
Someone else mentioned being set in her ways; good thing about being single, no one to interfere with the way I like things.
__________________ Michelle
�If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. I've read the last page in the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right." - Billy Graham
I'm married - DH and I have been happily married for 8 years.
I was 37 when I got married - I met him on the internet (and yes, we are both normal people). So for you girls who still really do want to get married there is hope!!
We thought about kids and then decided we liked our lives like they are.
We like to travel, go to sporting events, stay up late, SLEEP IN on Saturday mornings. We actually LIKE being together.
My sister gives me grief about not having kids - she has 3 (and they are great kids) - but ever since they've been born (the oldest is 13 now, and she has twin girls who are , she gripes about being broke and how much a babysitter costs and how they never get to go anywhere decent on vacation.
We do have furry babies - 2 dogs - they go camping with us, like riding in the car and don't beg to stop at every Mickey D's they see!!
My sister gives me grief about not having kids - she has 3 (and they are great kids) - but ever since they've been born (the oldest is 13 now, and she has twin girls who are eight years old....
Who knew that the number eight was a smiley face???
Cheryl, if I seemed a little touchy to your great response to what I said earlier, I apologise deeply. I'm just extremely over tired (worked an evening shift last night & had less than 2 hours sleep before having to get up at 4 this morning for work again, and I'm working early the rest of the week). Still, there's no excuse for touchiness if I seemed to be it. Sometimes I put things in what I see is a pleasant way but it doesn't always seem that way to others. So if I seemed snappish to you, sorry. :( I do value your opinion and consider you a friend and hate to think of possibly hurting another.
Don't, worry, Michelle - I didn't think your response seemed touchy. I wasn't online at all yesterday. And my response wasn't meant to 'argue' with yours, whether it was said seriously or not. I just like to remind the women here who do feel like something's missing, that being single and/or childless is not merely a stop on the way to a better place...it's a great place PERIOD.
But, the fact that I'm happy with my life as it is doesn't mean I think everyone else should stop dating and trying to have children. So, have fun on your date, Michelle. Sounds like a neat guy.
__________________ Cheryl "Mom" to Jazz & Cubby bungalowdays
Cheryl, I did know how you intended it. As I did say, I was really tired yesterday. My words weren't coming out at all correctly for anything I wanted.
The way I look at it all is that some people are great in a relationship and some people aren't. Some people will remain single their entire lives and some will never have children, but the majority will on either or both counts.
Jack is a doll. I'm meeting him at 3:30 today. We're going for a walk first and then a light supper. Then he has to get back to the farm and I've got to get home to bed.
Have a great day, all! Hope y'all're well.
__________________ Michelle
�If I didn't have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. I've read the last page in the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right." - Billy Graham
I know this is a very old thread but I thought it was worth bringing back up. I am very happily married (almost 8 years, together for 20) but no kids due to fertility issues. It gets very lonely being the only childless couple on both sides of the family. We used to get hounded by the "when are you having kids?" brigade-until I had a miscarriage, which shut them up. I'm 45, DH is 48 and we have accepted God has other plans. My DH is very supportive of my stamping addiction! I don't scrap at all but I do make cards, tags, bookmarks and other papercrafts and do some art journaling. :-)
I'm single, no kids, and 38 yrs. old. People do look at you like you're damaged or something because you're not married. It's nobody's business anyway. Even if I do get married someday (not likely as I have no boyfriend), I can't have kids as I had a hysterectomy on my 30th birthday. So hello all you single old maids!!!!!!!!! *waving*
I didn't get married til 39, and know exactly what you mean by that damaged look! I will always remember going to a scrapbooking retreat when I was working on scrapping my wedding photos and being asked if that was my daughter's wedding!
thank you sue for bringing this thread current again as I had not seen it before. Sometimes it is easy to feel so alone when everything around us seems to be centered around having kids and grandchildren.
Count me in. Single & one kid. I know all about hanging with the scrapping crowd and being the odd-ball, ha. Stampers in my circle are more diverse, lots of married with no kids.
I have a daughter who is 41 by a previous marriage. DH and married 16 years ago when I was 42. I couldn't have children anymore and even if I could have, I didn't want any since I already had 2 granddaughters. DH and I do have two Boston Terriers, buddy and flossie.
Thanks girlfriday for reviving this thread! I was married in my late 20s-early 30s but have been divorced for many years and dodged a bullet in the past few years with a long-term boyfriend :-) I like kids but never wanted to have any of my own. I adore my animals (currently a rescued Great Pyrenees and two rescued cats) and my quiet, peaceful manageable life full of time to read, write, create and craft.
I come from a crazy dysfunctional family so I find family-oriented things a bit uncomfortable, so I've just learned to avoid them. That would include stamp events with lots of proud moms and grandmas, and cutesy stamp sets and embellishments that have the "Isn't family just wonderful!" vibe :-)
I fit the bill. Our 10-year anniversary is at the end of next month, and aside from our fur-babies we do not, nor will we have children. I did want children when we started out (in fact I spent all of my 20s wanting nothing but to be a wife and mom), but life got in the way and somewhere along the way hubby didn't really care to add two-legged children to the family. I'm 42 now, and although I still have twinges and know that hubby would be supportive if I wanted to give one last try at it, my health doesn't really permit it. In fact, I think it would be foolish with the health problems I have to even try.
We're very happy, and truthfully it would be a huge shock to the system to undo my lifestyle of so many years. My dogs are my life, it's just sad that they don't live nearly as long as the average human child. We lost our baby girl Jenna last year to cancer, she had just barely turned 6. I still cry almost every day. In fact, there was a time not so long ago that I used to half-jokingly say that I needed to have real kids so I wouldn't be so devastated when my dogs passed.
I've seen many poems now about dogs passing, but I think this is still one of my favorites, because somehow we just can't stop having them in our lives.
It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them.
And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart.
If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.
Big wave from another childless stamper/card maker!
I am childless through infertility but I have learned to live with that, and have a wonderful life with my partner, 2 cats and a great group of friends. I do, however, often feel very left out at card classes where everyone is a mum or grandmother. It can sometimes make getting to know the other women a little more challenging, as my regular card class seems to bond the most over what the kids or grandkids are up to!
Really nice to see this thread resurrected - I joined SCS way after the OP so would never have seen it otherwise, and it is heartening to see so many childless/childfree crafters on here.
My husband and I celebrated our 32nd anniversary together this past January and for many reasons, we chose not to have human children (we are on our second generation of kitties:-))
It is difficult when getting together with other women since we are definitely a minority and most women bond over discussing their kids/grandkids...
We love kids and work with approx. 50 or more in Awana (for over 17 years) and have helped raise our nieces and nephew when they were younger, but never felt the need to have our own.
I have stopped going to baby showers since the conversation usually stops dead when they ask "how many kids do you have" and the looks that follow..it becomes awkward for me, but it seems more so for the other women who are there...same with Mother's Day at church when they say "Happy ..." then stop when they remember that I am not a mom..and a few other occasions...
I primarily make cards and hope to complete a few scrapbooks of our life together, our kitties, our family gatherings, etc.
The few ladies who have taken the time to get to know me through stamping (all have children) are precious friends and understand my reasons for not attending baby showers, etc.
So glad to know that I am not the only one out there- thanks for resurrecting this thread..hugs to all of you, my friends!!
Mid-40s, no kids, never married. The pathetic looks I get when people hear this is enough to make me want to scream....It's like you are less of a person and there must be something wrong with you. In my job, it's not uncommon to be asked about my kids, just assuming someone my age has them. I recently had a coworker (new employee) ask if I had kids. Hearing I was single and childless, she asked if I wanted kids. I just told her it was something I didn't want to talk about (quite honestly, I was dumbfounded that she asked!) Given that my mother told me I was a mistake (like I didn't already know that!) and she wished they wouldn't have had me, I would have made a horrible parent.
I make cards and scrapbook vacations...no kids necessary :-)
My husband and I have been married going on 24 years (in October) but we haven't been blessed with children either. I've struggled with that from time to time over the last 24 years...believe me we WANTED kids, but guess it wasn't in God's plan. (Not that that makes it easy to deal with.)
I do feel so blessed though, with the wonderful husband I have. He's totally understanding of my new (expensive) hobby and lets me get what we can afford...which isn't near enough, fast enough, beings as we are on a fixed income cause he is a disabled vet, but I'm slowly adding to my tools/stash, so am able to make cards when I have time to!
I'm rather shy, so don't get out around lots of people that much...so thankfully haven't had to deal with everyone ELSE making me feel like a failure...I get that feeling enough MYSELF, without someone else adding to it. I agree though...the scrapbooking scene is full of Mom's...which can be hard, even if I AM happy for them. I was a digital scrapbooker for years a few years ago...and I was always so thankful when I could borrow a niece for photos, cause then at least I had a child to scrap...how sad is that! LOL
But...God has been good to us...even if the ultimate blessing wasn't to be ours. I try to remember that in the bad times, and do my best to not feel like a failure...even if I don't ALWAYS succeed.
It's nice to see I'm not alone in my feelings that my chosen hobby is really more geared to Mom's and Grandmothers than the childless. Course, card making may not be as much that way (I don't know...since I'm new at it)...but digital scrapbooking sure seemed to be a few years ago, even if I did love it.
I didn't get into stamping or scrapbooks until my kids left home. I have a scrapbook for my dog and I do our trips and my adventures. I don't even do my grandchildren. I know what kind of grandma am I?
I didn't get into stamping or scrapbooks until my kids left home. I have a scrapbook for my dog and I do our trips and my adventures. I don't even do my grandchildren. I know what kind of grandma am I?
Haha...doesn't mean you aren't a wonderful grandma. Just means your adventures give you plenty to scrap about! ;-))
Widowed for 8 years with a grown son and no grandchildren. I LOVE being single. I'm not a scrapper, but I make plenty of stamps and I'm also expanding into mixed media. Other than working long hours, I can have lots of uninterrupted time in my craft room. Domino's is on speed dial.
__________________ Debbie "Make it work, people." - Tim Gunn My Gallery
Early 30's and married no two legged kids (four fur babies) by choice/ circumstance. Hubby and I are very happy being the cool aunt and uncle to 4 nephews and 4 nieces. The ones who live in town will be over Wednesday to work on mother's day cards for their mom and Nana. They love coming into the scrap room and going crazy with the bling, even the boys enjoy making a card for their mom.
I do a lot of stuff for the 'kids' for school to help my sis in law out. I need to make autograph books for a surprise Disneyland trip this summer for two nephews and have been stocking up on Disney stickers and paper to make the album when they get back. I really making things for them because I like the giving.
Mid 50s, married, no two-legged kids. I do have two fur babies that rule the house, Sasha and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (yes, that is truly her name. DH named her!). Both are Lhasa Apsos. Neither one so us wanted kids which is good as I couldn't have them if I wanted to! I am very happy scrapping my trips and our life together.
Single. No children by choice and circumstances. Only child. So no grandchildren, nieces, or nephews. Only one of my crafty friends is single, and she has children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Two kitty children and I am NOT going to become a crazy cat lady. Looking forward to retirement and having more time to make cards and return to scrapbooking. Yes, my cats will eventually have their own scrapbook.
Dea
Always nice and fun to see an old thread pop up. I am in my late 30s and will be marry soon but not so sure if we are going to have kids or not. I am truly happy right now with my life, friends and lots of fun hobby that I enjoyed (including card making).
Divorced, one child who is 33 and is not planning to have children. So I do not have the kiddy things to scrap... But managed to love scrapping and stamping anyway.
Wow!! This is such an old thread!! I was married when this thread began. I've been divorced for 4? (maybe 5? 4.5?) years now. Still friends with the ex, but my relief at being no longer married is vast. I will never marry again, and my advice to all my younger co-workers is "don't get married". No kids by choice. I have nothing against kids; I just didn't (and still don't) want the huge responsibility of being a parent.
Given that my mother told me I was a mistake (like I didn't already know that!) and she wished they wouldn't have had me, I would have made a horrible parent.
It makes me incredibly sad to read that. : In my opinion she made the mistake by giving you this feeling (and not the other way round), no parent should do that. There may be exceptions, but in most cases it's the parents who decide how the relationship with the children will be. I hope that you will eventually meet someone who can give you the feeling that you're not a mistake.
I've been married for 5 years...didn't get married until I was 44. DH was 40 neither of us had been married before and no kids. We don't want kids...I'm almost 50! I used to get the question all the time.... " You're how old and not married" What's wrong with you?" People can be so stupid. I had someone tell me one time that maybe I would find someone who was as backward as me!
Interesting thread! I'm happily married, am 42 years old and we have no kids. No plans to have any at this point, either! I don't scrap, but love to do cards. I do think this is a hobby dominated by mothers, but there is still a fair number of us childfree/childless stampers (whatever you want to call it). I wish I could find more people my own age without kids that have an interest in stamping. Aside from my demo, my group is older and most with kids (I think...I'm new to the group). But even though I don't have kids, I still find it hard to stamp as much as I want. When you work full time, keep you house relatively clean, etc., not much time left in the day. I admire the mothers on this site who can stamp as much as they do and still keep the family running strong. Kudos to them!
I think I could have written this myself!!! Are you close to the US border?
I was surprised to read a few of the posts, because it never dawned on me to think that card making was done mostly by married moms with kids. Scrapbooking more so, but I’ve met lots of women who don’t have children who are card makers, some married, some not. Of course some are retired with grown kids and grandkids.
I’m married, no kids. I couldn’t have kids due to medical issues, didn’t want to consider kids when young and with my first husband (egads, what a train wreck we would have caused), and by the I met my second husband, kids/adoption wasn’t on my radar. No regrets.
Single,childless people have a need for cards just like married people with children. That's what I stamp- cards for friends and family as well as my local hospice.